I feel that when I hangout with guy, he'll kino escalate, and I will flirt back. BUT when I don't respond to his intentions of hooking up, I'm callled a tease. This has happened on several occasions with different guys. Is there any way I can keep the conversation flowing without pauses and boring the guy? How can I flirt, but not be called a tease??

I feel that when I hangout with guy, he'll kino escalate, and I will flirt back. BUT when I don't respond to his intentions of hooking up, I'm callled a tease. This has happened on several occasions with different guys. Is there any way I can keep the conversation flowing without pauses and boring the guy? How can I flirt, but not be called a tease??

A lot of guys start the playful conversations but then get stuck talking about the same thing. The conversation doesn't go anywhere, nothing new comes into it, and so it eventually runs out of steam. To avoid that, make an offer.

An offer is where you introduce something new into the fantasy, you offer a new avenue / object / person for the other person to take.

The secret to it isn't having a list of things prepared in your head, it's imaging yourself in the situation and asking yourself "What would I normally do if I was in this situation?"

Don't think about describing the situation, think about where you could take it.

For example, I talk about ninjas A LOT. Where could you take a conversation about ninjas?
- Where did they train?
- Who did they train with?
- How long have they been a Ninja for?
- What clan are they part of?

But all these things are just talking about the current situation. You can investigate the current situation if you want but it's only going to last so long. If you really want to build a fantasy, you need to take it somewhere. Where could you take a fantasy about ninjas? On a ninja mission!

M: Ok, you look like you're an expert stealth ninja scout. Great. We need one of those for our mission. We're going to defeat the evil Teriyaki Clan from the other side of the bar. They're a group of socially awkward, old men that have been stealing from the local village. Are you ready to fight??

Here's a few little examples:

I'm always busting on girls I've just met for being terrible dates.

M: *she does something embarrassing* This is the worst date I've ever been on! First, you didn't pick me up, there was no flowers, and now this!

Now, if I just focus on the actual date, things are going to slowly run out of steam...

M: All I ask for is a simple dinner, maybe a long walk along the beach, maybe snuggling in front of a fire... and this is what I get!

(This is pretty funny. I'm sitting in my loungeroom trying to come up with ways to NOT make an offer and it's killing me!:-))

At this point in time, if I don't make an offer, I'm pretty much out of things to talk about. But, if I introduce something new into this, move the story forward, I can keep going for ever. Here's a few examples of where I'd run with this.

Maybe introduce a new person into the equation...

M: This is terrible... you obviously need help. *I turn around to the nearest person and grab their arm* Excuse me, this young lady needs help in being a better date. She hasn't picked me up, brought me no flowers, and is now doing embarrassing things. What advice can you give her?

or take it down a new path...

M: Ok, look. I'm going to give you a chance to make it up to me. Where are you going to take me that lets me know how much I mean to you?

or increase the intensity...

M: And you wonder why I haven't introduced you to my parents yet! This is a sham of a marriage. We need help. *Grab the nearest person* Excuse me, we're in desperate need of marriage counselling otherwise this is going to fall apart. Can you please help us?

or get it a little sexual...

M: You know, you bring me to these places, get me drunk, and expect me to just fall into your arms at the end of the night? I'm not that kind of guy! I'm not just a cheap piece of meat you can use for your sexual gratification! I have feelings, emotions, passions and desires... I just want to be loved!

It's pretty simple but it's one of the most important skills in creating incredible fantasy worlds.

One thing to note: you don't always have to be making new offers. You can stay and play in a particular fantasy for as long as you like. It's just that if you find it's running out of steam, this is how you can fire it back up again.