PUA Forum :: i can't make interesting conversations

Kevin1198

The best and easiest way to make interesting conversation is to talk to people about themselves, this applies to men and women, once the conversation starts grab what ever they say, might be about work, a friend, family and roll with it.

i.e-
HB work was really stressful this week

You- oh yeah what is it you atually do?

Keep this going, people love talking about themselves and if you talk to THEM about THEM they will find themselves thinking wow this guy is really cool.

Keep asking questions...and listen to the answers so you have your next question already sorted out from what you have just heard. its that simple, once you get comfortable with doing this then you can bring kino and other stuff into your game and build from there.

Also read Dale Carnegies book 'How to win friends and influence people"

Author:	kevin1198 [ Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:	i can't make interesting conversations
i have alot of trouble making good conversations with people i don't know, and even people i DO know. i've seen people make great interesting conversations about normal things, and i just don't get it, i've tried opening my mind more, but i just don't get how there could be something interesting about it. worst of all, when i try to be funny, it ends up really bad because i suck at it. it's hard to make someone laugh, especially since i have a monotone voice. any tips on making funny, and interesting conversations?

Author:	justd0it [ Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:
Hee man, Can't do it (all the time) myself yet, but if youre good you can make any story interesting, it's all about body language. If you don't feel like a story will get a positive reaction, just don't tell it and if it DOES feel good tell it cuz your body will tell the girl it's fun, interesting or whatever you want it to be

Author:	Chrosiris [ Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Don't forget to think outside the box. Remember it's not lying it's flirting. I'm not saying fabricate your whole life story but it's okay to bend the truth a little when flirting with a girl. They may actually know you are doing it and not care anyway! Girls like to be entertained. A fun guy doesn't enlighten a girl with philosophy or help her out with psychology or whatever angle guys use. Girls simply want a guy to be able to entertain them and have some substance underneath. I would suggest some David DeAngelo for this one. His Cocky/Funny stuff is pretty good.

Author:	Barney Stinson [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 1:50 am ]
Post subject:
I always find the most interesting conversations are about things that both parties engaged in the conversation have an interest in. Watch TV shows and movies. Read books and magazines. And after wards actually put some thought into what you liked, disliked. Or any general impressions it made on you. Traveling is a topic that everyone is interested in. Whether they've been in the past or have future plans or aspirations. Write down where you'd travel in every continent and why. This is a sure fire interesting conversation with anyone. I mean every girl wants to go to Paris and fall in love. Hope this helps, B-Man

Author:	Myth [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 3:14 am ]
Post subject:
Read Jugglers Method: Conversational Jujitsu It should help your convo skills

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Author:	yoyomaa [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 2:55 am ]
Post subject:	Should I pull a Dwight Shrute?
Dwight is a character from the office who has some of the worst social skills known to man. My friend and I were talking the other day and we both mentioned how cold openings are hard. He suggested it is easier to talk about things which both parties are interested in....DUH!! So then he jokingly suggests the following. Walk up to a girl with a list of 5 items and tell her you will talk to her about any of the 5. Does anyone think this will work? I'm really intersted in trying it. My five would look like this. 1 - I'm visiting NYC, where is one place I need to see before I leave 2 - 3 - 4 - Time Travel 5 - As you can see, I only have a couple so far. Even if this doesn't work, I'm going to make a mental note of these 5 things. Because like the original poster said, sometimes it is hard to talk to random girls.

Author:	wants10 [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:
Kevin1198 The best and easiest way to make interesting conversation is to talk to people about themselves, this applies to men and women, once the conversation starts grab what ever they say, might be about work, a friend, family and roll with it. i.e- HB work was really stressful this week You- oh yeah what is it you atually do? Keep this going, people love talking about themselves and if you talk to THEM about THEM they will find themselves thinking wow this guy is really cool. Keep asking questions...and listen to the answers so you have your next question already sorted out from what you have just heard. its that simple, once you get comfortable with doing this then you can bring kino and other stuff into your game and build from there. Also read Dale Carnegies book 'How to win friends and influence people"

Author:	J-Stevo [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:
i disagree with that last comment about asking questions... it makes u seem uninteresting, vulernable, and insecure. asking questions is good.. but make 3 times as many statements for every question.. if u need to ask 2 questions in a row make 6 statements.. 3 statements = 1 story... stories dont have to be hard... i told one to my friends today about how i was talking down the coredore and a girl was walking from the other end.. and we had eye contact.. then i went to pick a booger... and i just left my fingure up there ( i was illustrating this but wasnt saying it).. and she was comign down.. and smiling at me.. and then as she went past me i took my fingure out of my nose and we both couldnt stop laughing..) just talk about anything.. but i agree with myth.. read Jugglers Method: Conversational Jujitsu

Author:	C&F_natural [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Kevin1198 The best and easiest way to make interesting conversation is to talk to people about themselves, this applies to men and women, once the conversation starts grab what ever they say, might be about work, a friend, family and roll with it. i.e- HB work was really stressful this week You- oh yeah what is it you atually do? Keep this going, people love talking about themselves and if you talk to THEM about THEM they will find themselves thinking wow this guy is really cool. Keep asking questions...and listen to the answers so you have your next question already sorted out from what you have just heard. its that simple, once you get comfortable with doing this then you can bring kino and other stuff into your game and build from there. Also read Dale Carnegies book 'How to win friends and influence people" Yeah i agree to that. Just listen to what she has to say, look for things you can hang on and go further on that. Also try to put a little funny story of yourself in it, so the conversation is not only about her. And if your doing it right.. she thinks your a good listener + she feels you because you pick the things she's saying and have a opinion of your own about it. Good luck in the field!

Author:	Myth [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Keep asking questions...and listen to the answers so you have your next question already sorted out from what you have just heard. its that simple, once you get comfortable with doing this then you can bring kino and other stuff into your game and build from there. Do you want to have an interrogation or a conversation? Do not! I repeat DO NOT, ask a bunch of questions, J-Stevo's right statements are better then questions (of course it is ok to ask some questions)

Author:	Tyler H [ Fri Mar 13, 2009 3:03 am ]
Post subject:	Powerful Principle for Helping You in Conversation
Kevin, What I want you to realize, at this very moment, is the fact that you posting this question is the biggest part of your problem. Please do not take that previous statement the wrong way. As the universal saying goes, “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.” I encourage you to keep on asking questions and seeking out guidance that will inspire and encourage you in improving your overall social life. I was once in the same position you are in. If I am not mistaken, and please correct me if I am, the moment you initiate conversation, or someone initiates conversation with you, you become nervous and your brain immediately kicks into high gear. It begins searching for something interesting and intriguing to say or talk about. This is happening while the other person is speaking. Before you know it, you realize that you did not hear a single word that person just said, and your conversation ends up dry, with you stammering over majority of your words. Why? Because you are in your head. BINGO!! If there is one important principle to follow relating to conversation of any type, it is to BE IN THE MOMENT. Once I realized the importance of that single statement, I began to enjoy myself more when I went out, and I found that my conversation skills improved ten-fold. I was taking control of more conversations and I was getting a lot of laughs from people. I developed a great vibe. Was it a switch that I just decided to turn on? No. I struggled for about two weeks to stop worrying about what I was going to say, or what kind of reaction I’d get from saying this or that. But, with patience comes reward. Let yourself go, and live in the present. Don’t worry about what others are going to think about you, and focus on the good time you’re having. Believe in yourself and your abilities as a conversationalist. The process is simple, but that does not mean it is easy. Keep reiterating to yourself that you need to stay out of your head. You do not have to be in the center of every conversation, and the words you speak do not have to be magnificent. Just talk…and listen. Kevin, you have to stop saying you can’t. You can. Anything is possible in this world. Read the success stories posted on this forum and across the internet. Believe it or not, not all of these stories are made up. Good luck to you Kevin, and remember these two things: BE IN THE MOMENT! And most importantly, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Author:	Gander [ Fri Mar 13, 2009 4:20 am ]
Post subject:
Tyler brings up some very valid points. With you doubting yourself it's already hurting you. You are your own worst enemy by worrying about this kind of stuff. Be in the moment like suggested. People will feel how you feel. You know when someone in a group is feeling awkward everyone can feel it. Obviously it works vice-versa when someone is having a good time everyone else feels that vibe. You control how you feel and others will follow. As for talking to a women (or man) people love to talk about themselves.. statements, like mentioned above are better than question, but when you ask someone about themselves don't ask what do you do.. Ask something like what do you do that is interesting. This puts pressure on them to come up with something. Strive for when you ask question they must answer with a longer explanation than [a whatever]. Also I think one of the best pieces of advice I've picked up off this forum is act like that person is already your girlfriend. Talk to her like it. Talk like you would with your bestfriend. Think about it the most fun you've probably had with a girl is when you act like she's yours already. Best of luck

Author:	Juice24 [ Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah, even at my level in the game I still find it tough to make a conversation out of thin air, most of which it has to feel right and what im started to do is use routines in which i didnt do in the first year of pick up

Author:	rocky9118 [ Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:41 am ]
Post subject:
i used to have the same problem until a friend of mine helped out .. heres what you do ... lets say a girl says : i had fun at a party. you got two topics right there from that one line . now watch closesly fun and party talk about something you did for fun .. talk about the party you went to .. possible continuation of that line.... i had fun at that party . there was a fight gonig on between these wannabe gangsters. thats 4-5 topics right there again ...... fun, party, fight, going on between, wannabe, gangsters. get it

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Author:	DABERNON [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:
I agree with most of what Tyler H has posted. If you a struggling with conversation I would guess it's that you are trying too hard. Trying to come up with the ultimate reply/response that is very witty and impressive. It took me a long time to realize that most interactions between people are not at that level. They are simply friendly exchanges. Sometimes you can be to clever when you really need to just relax and throw something back that is easy and unchallenging. If you think about talking to a seven year old - and use the same approach - just be relaxed - friendly and give back something that the other person can easily understand and respond to - that's pretty much all that's needed. Keep it simple stupid (no offence). You do have to be interested in the other person - and questions demonstrate that - the willingness to listen demonstrates that - but you may need to throw out bits of information to help the other person by giving them something to respond to. My guess is that if you dumb everything down - keep things simple and just try to relax - it will make a lot of difference. Good luck - just keep at it.