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How do I make a group go somewhere else?
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Author:  Eminem [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:  How do I make a group go somewhere else?
I was at dennys last night and the group was reminiscing on stuff I had nothing to do with and it was really hard to get any type of routine started and it was boring as fuck..

There were pleny of other places we could have been (which would have been more fun for all of us and more practical for PUA) but I couldn't get them to do shit

we had planned on sledding but the place was closed. I wanted to go in anyway but they were like no we dont want cops...

so i said there are plenty of other places to go, made it sound fun, and made fun of them for not realizing how many places there are to sled

it did not work.. they wanted to go to a party... I could have had them over to my dorm room but I wasn't sure it was a great idea cuz its a bit messy and it wasnt prepared at all.. So i suggested it in a nonenthusiastic way. (this was a mistake, now I realize I should have not mentioned it or fully embraced that shit...)
Author:  Stormy [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's always going to be easier to bounce on a high note. If the group is *bleh*, then they're going to be *bleh* about moving. If the group is at a high energy level, they'll be more willing to go.

Also, you've got to be enthusiastic about where you're going. Even to the point of overselling it.

"Hey, you guys ever been to Club X? No? Pfft. You don't even know what you're missing. The booze flows like water there, guys. The music is crazy, the vibe is awesome, and tonight... is NAKED NIGHT. That's right. There's gonna be naked people running around all over. And Jello wrestling. NAKED JELLO WRESTLING. There's gonna be celebrities and shit there, and naked basketball too. Let's go. Let's go. Sko. Sko sko sko skoskoskoskoskosko."
Author:  Eminem [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
ah overselling it literally lyin about it ok...

i feel yah.

i been readin ur posts good stuff. thanks

now in my last situation like this (last night) the guy and I were keeping the discussion going but who do I direct the suggestion to? The whole group?

cuz the girls were bein distant and shy.. talking to each other, so I don't know how I would have gotten the energy level that high and then gotten my answer form them. pretty much they went off what me andthe other guy were reacting to shit.

but this other guy... i dont want to see him around anymore he's my competition and he has more rapport with the girl (one of them) he had a class with her in high school and has hung wiht her a few times
Author:  Stormy [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
ah overselling it literally lyin about it ok...
You're not trying to convince people that this stuff is actually true. It should be pretty obvious that you're exaggerating.
Quote:
i feel yah.

i been readin ur posts good stuff. thanks
Thanks!
Quote:
now in my last situation like this (last night) the guy and I were keeping the discussion going but who do I direct the suggestion to? The whole group?
Girls are funny about decisions. Especially group decisions.

The way that they decide where they want to go has nothing to do with how objectively good a place is. Think about it: if guys A and B are friends, and Guy A wants to go one place and Guy B wants to go to another, what do they do? They go their separate ways without a thought. No big deal.

Girls, on the other hand? They'll talk for potentially hours about where to go. The big thing for them is that everyone in the group is happy about where they're going. They'll keep tossing ideas around until finally everyone agrees on one course of action and they all go. This generally results in the decision merely being the lowest common denominator.

Split up? NEVER. Girls go out to be together.

This caused me a BIG motherfuckin' problem a few months ago. One of my pivots (although I think of her as more of a she-pimp) was supposed to bring this girl I knew to a show that I had told her about. I was going to the show anyway because I wanted to go, and I had told my pivot about it in advance. She promised to bring my target along.

But then other girls wanted to go out with them too. No big deal; this is all social circle. Most of these girls knew me. I wouldn't run into any problems with them being out as well. Hell, they'd probably help me out.

But the other girls "weren't sure" that they wanted to go to my show. One of them wanted to go somewhere else. So they talked about where they should go for two hours, and eventually my show had already started so they didn't want to go there and went somewhere else. I was already at my show and was going to meet them there, so I couldn't influence this process.

My pivot, despite being the alpha female of that group, could not fight the groupthink, despite the fact that these other girls invited themselves along and then changed my pivot's plans for her.

So yeah, you're addressing the group as a whole. Or at least the alpha female. You need to ride that groupthink mentality, 'cause you sure as hell can't fight it.
Author:  Eminem [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
ok im not trying to make this more complicated than it has to be but:


this girl seems to be a little bit unique. She doenst have gay guy friends but shes recently been trying to make guy friends cuz she dont like girls. I dont think she knows how to act in a mixed group.

I don't think there was an alpha female and thats why we ended up at denny's having a borin ass time which she thought was fun

on the phone she said "oh its ok that you didn't know everybody it was fun"

and I said "yeah i got to know everybody but that was boring"

basically she thinks she can tell ME that I HAD FUN...???

no i def did not and it was not a situation to where i could isolate her...


i think me and or the other guy was the alpha female lol.. i think the other guy was the alpha female

not sure!



*i guess i said it was boring so that it would give me leverage to change location in the future cuz she totally didnt listen ot me when i tried to get us out of denny's. I don't know if saying i had a boring time is good or bad in this case but thats what i said..
Author:  Eminem [ Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
well. today i called her and said "i hope ur exams went well, you can call me later"

she called me and i ignored her call


her voicemail:

"i did x y and z today. Now I'm at home and I gotta do (what sounded like fluff/bullshit to me) you can call me after 10


so i want to pretend i didnt get the voicemail and call her on my own time and sound busy on the phone with false time constraint

or i could call her after 10, but im getting a bad vibe from that idea, iv been following her fucked up ideas too long, i wnat to take control somehow

i need to get her over to my place!


--- i downloaded an mpua free chapter of his audio book i forget his name but it was about phone game and i can say right now that in the last 24 hours i invited her to do things way too much making myself look needy... I need to call her for small talk but she always wants to talk about her boyfriend and iv become too involved in that whole thing. I don't know if I should call her tonight and if i do i dont know what i should talk about and if at the end i should invite her to do anything...

shes not happy with her boyfriend and she supposedly wants me as a friend but she said she wont regret if osmething happns but at other times she says "lets try real hard to not even think about having sex" so she clearly has conflicting id/ego/superego issues lol. I think shes redefining her values and will def cheat on her boyfrined but i need to not talk to her about her boyfriend at all anymore...
Author:  Stormy [ Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
No boyfriend talk. You are correct on this front.

Yes, she's thinking about sleeping with you.

Call her after 10 and forget the message. Pretend you didn't get it; you're just calling her after 10 because you had stuff to do today. You're going out and you're inviting her along.

CLOSE.
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