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| "Stop touching me" https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=33273 |
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| Author: | elmercredi [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 12:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | "Stop touching me" |
What if she asks you to stop touching her. I think it's either a shit test or a "you screwed it" signal... What do you do, what do you say? |
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| Author: | Marco Polo [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 12:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: "Stop touching me" |
Quote: What if she asks you to stop touching her. I think it's either a shit test or a "you screwed it" signal... What do you do, what do you say?
Not a shit test cause if you don`t do as she says, you might end up with rape charges  You did not create enough attraction and comfort before going into kino, or kino was to explicit. If you touched her hand gently, i doubt she would say that, but if you were grabbing her more agressively then you actvated her defense shield. |
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| Author: | rigoberto [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 12:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Oof, that definitely sounds like a situation where you're escalating a little too fast and not building up enough comfort/attraction first. I think the tone and body language she's giving off can give you an indication of whether it's a shit test or her really telling you to fuck off, and that'll give you a good indication as to whether you should plow through or back off... I've got European origins, so I'm naturally more touchy-feely than North Americans with all my friends (guys or girls). When something like that comes up, I usually go with something like "Wow, feeling pretty uptight tonight? I'm European, and we touch when we communicate. Sometimes it throws off people from more conservative backgrounds." There's a slight DHV about being from Europe that helps justify things, while the subtle neg tells her to cool off a bit. If you're not European, I think you could re-phrase it to "I'm from a small town where everyone is close" or "I'm really tight with my family and friends". In any case, I wouldn't try to reinitiate kino right away unless she's more openly inviting it. Work on the attraction and comfort, and I find that they get more receptive to it once you've explained it. When they don't, they're just cold/uninterested, so I just roll my eyes at her and move on. I also make a point of demonstrating with my friends so she can see that I just get close with people. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 12:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just do what the lady says... You kino escalated too fast or too much. Take a step back and try again later on. Being touchy feely is not about getting as much contact as possible it is about calibrating and building comfort to get into the next stage. |
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| Author: | Chinaski [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 3:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It's definitely a matter of where you touched her. Certain areas on the body near vital organs and vulnerable spots raise immediate alarms in a person when touched by a stranger. Start with lightly touching the elbow area, then touch it a little longer, if you're connecting the hands should follow. Just always make sure you're reading her comfort levels, you never want to make someone uncomfortable. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Forgot to say... You need to calibrate better. Look at how touchy feely she is with her friends. |
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| Author: | Stygian [ Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I would challenge her and just poke her in the shoulder. If it's a shit test you passed, if not then you blew it either way. Try that next time your target tell you to stop touching them O_o |
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| Author: | jurupa [ Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: It's definitely a matter of where you touched her. Certain areas on the body near vital organs and vulnerable spots raise immediate alarms in a person when touched by a stranger. Start with lightly touching the elbow area, then touch it a little longer, if you're connecting the hands should follow. Just always make sure you're reading her comfort levels, you never want to make someone uncomfortable. Actually it doesn't matter where you touch her because if she is uncomfortable with you she will not welcome any touching from you no matter where you touch her. And you should be reading her body language instead as that will tell you if it is okay to touch her or not.
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| Author: | V1V [ Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This is one of those things which could be either a complete joke or something as serious as it gets. You should be able to tell. 93% of human communication is non verbal - it has a LOT to do with tone. If she is joking - say ok - youve just blew your chance now darling. If shes not - why not do the exact same? |
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| Author: | Chinaski [ Fri Dec 05, 2008 5:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Quote: It's definitely a matter of where you touched her. Certain areas on the body near vital organs and vulnerable spots raise immediate alarms in a person when touched by a stranger. Start with lightly touching the elbow area, then touch it a little longer, if you're connecting the hands should follow. Just always make sure you're reading her comfort levels, you never want to make someone uncomfortable. Actually it doesn't matter where you touch her because if she is uncomfortable with you she will not welcome any touching from you no matter where you touch her. And you should be reading her body language instead as that will tell you if it is okay to touch her or not. |
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| Author: | Yellaz [ Sat Dec 06, 2008 7:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds like someone went to fast but it really depends on how she said it playfully well playful, kinda hard maybe a shit test If she snaps when you did it its time to cut your loss or else hear somebody shout Rape. |
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