PUA Forum :: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?

Hey - realised that I previously posted this in the wrong forum!

Just wanted to get a few thoughts, ideas etc.

Met a lovely girl a couple of weeks ago - I opened and then I left her with her friend, then as she was leaving she came to me and closed me for my number. And offers to buy me a drink! Lol. She's late 20s in mid 30s.

First date, we grab a drink and some dinner - good conversation. Although she does most of the talking and about herself! Fair enough. She offers to pay but I refuse. And tell her she still owes me those drinks. Not many IOIs and I didn't really try any kino escalation. And she brings up in conversation that she doesn't believe in Sex outside of relationships - although that's not what I'm after.

Second date, same thing - chat about her most of the night. She spends quite a lot of her time on the phone sorting her evening with friends out. Drinks and dinner I shout, but we make a deal she's paying next time...
No IOIs, and I kino escalate, touching her lower arm, shoulder. Standing outside waiting for a cab, she's cold so I give her a hug, nothing back. I move her hair from her face, nothing back.
This was last Tue, I play it cool over the week, a few messages - we were both busy over the weekend but I didn't contact her from Friday until she messaged me Monday afternoon.

We're messaging each other and I ask her when she's taking me out...

So what's my play. Pretty stuck with this as there's a lack of IOIs and no response Kino wise...

Author:	qwertyking121212 [ Mon May 11, 2015 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:	2nd Date - Is she playing me?
Hey - realised that I previously posted this in the wrong forum! Just wanted to get a few thoughts, ideas etc. Met a lovely girl a couple of weeks ago - I opened and then I left her with her friend, then as she was leaving she came to me and closed me for my number. And offers to buy me a drink! Lol. She's late 20s in mid 30s. First date, we grab a drink and some dinner - good conversation. Although she does most of the talking and about herself! Fair enough. She offers to pay but I refuse. And tell her she still owes me those drinks. Not many IOIs and I didn't really try any kino escalation. And she brings up in conversation that she doesn't believe in Sex outside of relationships - although that's not what I'm after. Second date, same thing - chat about her most of the night. She spends quite a lot of her time on the phone sorting her evening with friends out. Drinks and dinner I shout, but we make a deal she's paying next time... No IOIs, and I kino escalate, touching her lower arm, shoulder. Standing outside waiting for a cab, she's cold so I give her a hug, nothing back. I move her hair from her face, nothing back. This was last Tue, I play it cool over the week, a few messages - we were both busy over the weekend but I didn't contact her from Friday until she messaged me Monday afternoon. We're messaging each other and I ask her when she's taking me out... So what's my play. Pretty stuck with this as there's a lack of IOIs and no response Kino wise...

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Tue May 12, 2015 12:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?
No problem - I deleted your other two threads (duplicates in the wrong forum). Now on your question: she sounds pretty darn lukewarm on you to me. When you're texting back and forth what are you saying? Might be helpful to see that. Have you kissed her? If not, WHY NOT?

Author:	ChocolatePUA [ Tue May 12, 2015 3:02 am ]
Post subject:	Re: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?
Quote: Hey - realised that I previously posted this in the wrong forum! Just wanted to get a few thoughts, ideas etc. Met a lovely girl a couple of weeks ago - I opened and then I left her with her friend, then as she was leaving she came to me and closed me for my number. And offers to buy me a drink! Lol. She's late 20s in mid 30s. First date, we grab a drink and some dinner - good conversation. Although she does most of the talking and about herself! Fair enough. She offers to pay but I refuse. And tell her she still owes me those drinks. Not many IOIs and I didn't really try any kino escalation. And she brings up in conversation that she doesn't believe in Sex outside of relationships - although that's not what I'm after. Second date, same thing - chat about her most of the night. She spends quite a lot of her time on the phone sorting her evening with friends out. Drinks and dinner I shout, but we make a deal she's paying next time... No IOIs, and I kino escalate, touching her lower arm, shoulder. Standing outside waiting for a cab, she's cold so I give her a hug, nothing back. I move her hair from her face, nothing back. This was last Tue, I play it cool over the week, a few messages - we were both busy over the weekend but I didn't contact her from Friday until she messaged me Monday afternoon. We're messaging each other and I ask her when she's taking me out... So what's my play. Pretty stuck with this as there's a lack of IOIs and no response Kino wise... Your play is to stop looking for IOI's and to go for it. She closed you, so she's interested. However, I'm getting the feeling that she may be or already has rapidly lost interest because you're waiting for some unequivocal sign to move in. You're NOT going to get it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep escalating. You should have escalated FAR more and seen what she said. Also, you shoudl have isolated to hers/yours. Push the interactions and stop waiting for her approval to tell you it's ok. If she's still there, and hasn't objected, it's ok.

Author:	qwertyking121212 [ Tue May 12, 2015 12:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?
Thanks for moving the posts. Texts are just things like, how was your weekend, sharing what music we like... Haven't kissed - not even close. Limited physical contact infact. Ah right, so she said Thus for dinner... But I had to blow her out as I had some stuff on. So we're doing coffee on the weekend. I guess I need to meet up on Thus and go for it... Nothing to lose right. I think I'll start DHVing to get her interest again... Thanks!

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Tue May 12, 2015 12:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?
Quote: Thanks for moving the posts. Texts are just things like, how was your weekend, sharing what music we like... Haven't kissed - not even close. Limited physical contact infact. Ah right, so she said Thus for dinner... But I had to blow her out as I had some stuff on. So we're doing coffee on the weekend. I guess I need to meet up on Thus and go for it... Nothing to lose right. I think I'll start DHVing to get her interest again... Thanks! OK then... your texts are boring, and she got sick of waiting for you to make a move. Sorry dude... You can't sit around forever hmm'ing and haa'ing about whether it's the perfect time to kiss her and if you've gotten 100% explicit permission in writing to do so.

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Author:	ChocolatePUA [ Tue May 12, 2015 1:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?
Quote: Thanks for moving the posts. Texts are just things like, how was your weekend, sharing what music we like... Haven't kissed - not even close. Limited physical contact infact. Ah right, so she said Thus for dinner... But I had to blow her out as I had some stuff on. So we're doing coffee on the weekend. I guess I need to meet up on Thus and go for it... Nothing to lose right. I think I'll start DHVing to get her interest again... Thanks! No need to DHV beforehand. Keep the interesting stuff for in person conversation. Escalate smoothly - don't rush, but don't be afraid to up the tempo. Make sure you're sitting in CLOSE so kino can be done. Throw your arms around her waist and KEEP it there for a while when you greet her. Grab her hands. TEASE her. Have fun and make a couple sexual innuendos. Also, plan a venue bounce. You're there for coffee/dinner but you want to check out some place later. On your way to the car/train/wherever is a nice time to go for the kiss close. You would have gotten a sense of whether or not it's on from earlier because you escalated and sent her signals that you're interested sexually.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Wed May 13, 2015 5:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?
She sounds aggressive. And if I have to give it too you straight, unless you're looking to go some place serious with this girl I can't imagine her being worth these efforts. Just from what I am reading. However, you're already invested, you've spent money, and so you want you ROI. I get it. You have to communicate man. Learn her. If I touch a girl and she isn't responsive I will ask her what she felt. This is how I learn. It ain't about the individual girl as it is about me being the best me that I can be. Also, the more you're in your head before touching the less a woman will be receptive to your touch. Energy follows though, so if all of your energy is in your head while your reach to touch her you'll be touching her with a dull, non-electrified hand. You can try this yourself.. If I said " Focus all of your mental energy on your right foot right now." your right foot should begin to become warm and tingle. Thats energy and that same thing happens when we drop out of our heads and into the body parts we're using in the moment. I cover this in my book. Touch with focus and you get more response to your touch. You have to MEAN it, you can't just be doing it because some PUA book told you to.

Author:	qwertyking121212 [ Wed May 13, 2015 11:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 2nd Date - Is she playing me?
So I agree. She's not worth the effort. And to be frank even if I don't even get a kiss close I'm not bothered. But what I do want to do is use this to improve my learning and application. Just understand what I could have done different, what things I can do and just apply the techniques. I've got coffee and a couple of other dates lined up after... I know three dates lined up over the next week! Weird. Basically I want to use these dates to practice my technique and learn from it. If something happens, what a bonus. If not, at least I learn.

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