PUA Forum :: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kiss...

She a virgin?

Have you kissed her?

Maybe you're in friend zone?

Need more context bro.

I actually went through nearly a month of making out and no sex, though after that was one of the best relationships I had. The reason was she had huge self control and a strong filter to only have sex with guys she actually feels emotions for and is sure the guy has the emotions as well. Then it was due to the cultural difference.

Other ideas for your case could be:
She has traumatic experience with sex from the past?

Has another guy on her mind and you are there as a filler?

Women will make more effort to avoid losing a guy they already have, than gaining a guy they want.

It's called "loss aversion"; guys are the same. If you're texting multiple girls have you noticed it's the ones who stop/delay replying that you put more energy into?

Your girl is stuck in a rut and needs a nudge and it has to be an unquantifiable one and an emotional one.

Next time you're kissing her, you break off the kiss and lightly push her away on the shoulder. Next time you're hugging her give her that pitty pat on the back which means time to break off.

She will realise something is up but not what. This disorients her frame and she won't like it and will seek clarification by asking you "what's up?" tell her "nothing". Emotionally she will know something is up and attempt to restore her value by being more forward with you.

Then reward good behaviour and ignore bad.

She certainly will be wondering. All the "playing hard to get" needs to be non verbal as this is what accesses her emotional brain (where decisions are made) but otherwise just talk to her as you normally would and have been doing and deny losing interest if she asks you direct ("you're just being paranoid/silly")

This creates cognitive dissonance and the mind hates dissonance and will seek to end it at all costs. Her emotional brain will override her "thinking" brain to increase attraction for you just so she "knows" one way or another where she stands with you.

When this happens don't just declare your starstruck devotion or you will be back to square one: Qualify her and make her work for it.

Author:	lowriderzzz [ Tue Sep 02, 2014 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:	She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kiss...
Yea... so we go out, we hug, hold arms, kiss each other but in every my attempt to kino escalate and be more touchy on lets put it that way... some other places... she draws back. Don't tell me that I had to start it early on because I've stated kino escalating since the 1st day we met. But since then every time I attempt she blocks it... Why so ? Any idea... Thanks

Author:	Dragula [ Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
She a virgin? Have you kissed her? Maybe you're in friend zone? Need more context bro.

Author:	lowriderzzz [ Tue Sep 02, 2014 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
Quote: She a virgin? Have you kissed her? Maybe you're in friend zone? Need more context bro. She is not a virgin, but she tells me that she is not very sexual. (here is another post specifically on that) We kissed yes. Even the same night we met.And can tell she is not very experienced, perhaps she only had sex 1 guy before(and thats cool). But she is like... some times she wants to kiss me, sometimes she doesn't. Eventually that her behavior led to me playing hard to get and not allowing her to kiss me last time. If we kissed I don't think I'm in friend zone. But the more time we spend together without having sex, the more rapport occurs => the chance to get F. zoned increases. (unless I don't do something about it - and thats why last time I played hard to get, just to see her reaction - she didn't seemed to like it a lot, since she was used to have it every time, and now she wondered why I drew back). Eventually somehow demonstrating preselection must have to trigger something in her mind. Right ?

Author:	sxstrp [ Tue Sep 02, 2014 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
I actually went through nearly a month of making out and no sex, though after that was one of the best relationships I had. The reason was she had huge self control and a strong filter to only have sex with guys she actually feels emotions for and is sure the guy has the emotions as well. Then it was due to the cultural difference. Other ideas for your case could be: She has traumatic experience with sex from the past? Has another guy on her mind and you are there as a filler?

Author:	lowriderzzz [ Wed Sep 03, 2014 6:42 am ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
Quote: I actually went through nearly a month of making out and no sex, though after that was one of the best relationships I had. The reason was she had huge self control and a strong filter to only have sex with guys she actually feels emotions for and is sure the guy has the emotions as well. Then it was due to the cultural difference. Other ideas for your case could be: She has traumatic experience with sex from the past? Has another guy on her mind and you are there as a filler? I doubt she had traumatic sex from the past. And Yes she told me she loves some other guy but know she has no chances with him, since he is married etc. That doesn't bothers me. I don't react emotionally negatively on that, but i feel stupid to be used as a filter as you say. I like her, but I have self control and meet new women as well, trying to demonstrate preselection and trying to play hard to get, since women want to have what they can't.

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Author:	Melodical [ Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
Women will make more effort to avoid losing a guy they already have, than gaining a guy they want. It's called "loss aversion"; guys are the same. If you're texting multiple girls have you noticed it's the ones who stop/delay replying that you put more energy into? Your girl is stuck in a rut and needs a nudge and it has to be an unquantifiable one and an emotional one. Next time you're kissing her, you break off the kiss and lightly push her away on the shoulder. Next time you're hugging her give her that pitty pat on the back which means time to break off. She will realise something is up but not what. This disorients her frame and she won't like it and will seek clarification by asking you "what's up?" tell her "nothing". Emotionally she will know something is up and attempt to restore her value by being more forward with you. Then reward good behaviour and ignore bad.

Author:	lowriderzzz [ Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
Quote: Women will make more effort to avoid losing a guy they already have, than gaining a guy they want. It's called "loss aversion"; guys are the same. If you're texting multiple girls have you noticed it's the ones who stop/delay replying that you put more energy into? Your girl is stuck in a rut and needs a nudge and it has to be an unquantifiable one and an emotional one. Next time you're kissing her, you break off the kiss and lightly push her away on the shoulder. Next time you're hugging her give her that pitty pat on the back which means time to break off. She will realise something is up but not what. This disorients her frame and she won't like it and will seek clarification by asking you "what's up?" tell her "nothing". Emotionally she will know something is up and attempt to restore her value by being more forward with you. Then reward good behaviour and ignore bad. This is exactly what I tried to do when I played hard to get. The difference is that we hugged and I just drew back when she tried to kiss me. She got a little upset with it, but quickly overcame it. I hope this made her to wonder what is happening.

Author:	Melodical [ Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
She certainly will be wondering. All the "playing hard to get" needs to be non verbal as this is what accesses her emotional brain (where decisions are made) but otherwise just talk to her as you normally would and have been doing and deny losing interest if she asks you direct ("you're just being paranoid/silly") This creates cognitive dissonance and the mind hates dissonance and will seek to end it at all costs. Her emotional brain will override her "thinking" brain to increase attraction for you just so she "knows" one way or another where she stands with you. When this happens don't just declare your starstruck devotion or you will be back to square one: Qualify her and make her work for it.

Author:	lowriderzzz [ Thu Sep 04, 2014 8:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She doesn't allow me to kino escalate further than a kis
Quote: She certainly will be wondering. All the "playing hard to get" needs to be non verbal as this is what accesses her emotional brain (where decisions are made) but otherwise just talk to her as you normally would and have been doing and deny losing interest if she asks you direct ("you're just being paranoid/silly") This creates cognitive dissonance and the mind hates dissonance and will seek to end it at all costs. Her emotional brain will override her "thinking" brain to increase attraction for you just so she "knows" one way or another where she stands with you. When this happens don't just declare your starstruck devotion or you will be back to square one: Qualify her and make her work for it. Very well said. Now she wants me to give her some pictures of us, while a time ago she didn't wanted them. Does this means she is more interested ?

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