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Recovery after girl's bad reaction to teasing
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Author:  bob7891 [ Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:06 am ]
Post subject:  Recovery after girl's bad reaction to teasing
I went out with this girl once, we had a few beers and had a laugh and it seemed to go well.

After this night, we were exchanging texts and she would always text back soon and with enthusiasm. Then in one text she said that she can sleep for the whole weekend and I told her no she couldn't because she had to go to a French conversation group (we were supposed to go together).

Then when she said she forgot, I teased her about it and said, "Jeez, you have such a bad memory... you can forget anything. First you forgot to wake up and now you forgot about your French conversation group! Luckily I'm unforgettable!" to which she didn't reply to.

I didn't think too much about it and messaged her again the next day (the day of the French meeting) to organise a place and time to meet beforehand so that we could go together. We met and she seemed upset about something. I didn't think too much about it and we went to the French conversation group together. I was teasing her about her intonation (sometimes she just suddenly goes higher, both in her native language and in French), then I hugged her and said she was cute.

Then when we left the place, a random stranger literally went up to her, put his arms around her shoulders and was harassing her. So I told the guy to go away, put my arms around her and we walked away. But 5 seconds later she pulled my hands off her and said I can stop now. We then waited for her bus, and she was talking about how she would be watching movies at home on the weekend. I jumped on that occasion to talk to her about a movie event that my housemate was organising next week and I asked her if she wanted to go with me. After an awkward pause, she said she'll see, it's still far away. But I felt that she wasn't very enthusiastic and it was just a way to avoid an awkward situation.

Then on the bus, I teased her about her intonation again. She then told me to stop and that if I kept doing that she would just stop speaking altogether.

I feel like her change in attitude was because I teased her about her memory and about her intonation. What can I do now to make things better?
Author:  lowriderzzz [ Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recovery after girl's bad reaction to teasing
Seems to me that you were quite insecure about the thing going on between both of you.

And the thing that hint me for this was that statement of you:
Quote:
" Luckily I'm unforgettable!"
I don't know what kind of teasing you apply but its plain cocky (without the element of funny) it comes as insecure.

Put your ego aside and think if its really like this. Its just a guess for me.

However if I'm right for this, response on your question will be - just focus on building confidence in general, do courage, strengthen your inner game. (it doesn't happen like finger snap - it takes time but in the long run is more rewarding).
Author:  bob7891 [ Sat Feb 22, 2014 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recovery after girl's bad reaction to teasing
Thanks for the reply.

I genuinely thought that it was funny but maybe I just have a weird sense of humour. I understand now that maybe she didn't find it funny at all and took it as me just being cocky and insecure as you did.

I understand that for the future I should stop making
jokes like these, but any suggestions on how to make things better with this girl?
Author:  lowriderzzz [ Sat Feb 22, 2014 11:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recovery after girl's bad reaction to teasing
Quote:
jokes like these, but any suggestions on how to make things better with this girl?
How to make it better with THIS one... the "trick" is to move on and forget her (while it is still easy), and that is really the ONLY thing you can do now with THIS girl.

The thing is that until you change, there is nothing much different to show to her so she feel attraction toward you. And changing yourself doesn't happens like snap. So by that time, she will probably already be gone and it might be more painful for you. (lets say if she repels you).

But lets also someone else share his point of view. Perhaps something different could be done. This is just my experienced what taught me.
Author:  paintstone [ Sun Feb 23, 2014 12:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Recovery after girl's bad reaction to teasing
There is rarely one right or wrong answer but I must agree that you need to put more funny in your comments but also talk less.

Shut down emotionally a little bit, this girl sounds like she is a bit more serious about life.

Find things in her life that you share, maybe astronomy, cooking, this French class of yours works.

Do less teasing as she sounds a bit insecure & remember the flip side to teasing is building up her self image when she needs a pick me up. It has the same effect as treating a 10 like a 5, its different and if done with a smile she will enjoy it more.

I would also agree that you might want to keep seeing this girl off and on but add another girl to the mix. Keep dating until you find one that is amazing... but will you be ready for an amazing woman when you see her?
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