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Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...
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Author:  Primo55 [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

Hey guys. Looking for some advice and critique on this situation which I'm sure is not an uncommon one.

Like I said in my intro I became single about 3 months back and now I'm looking to get back Into the game, but my game sucks.
So basically my buddy sets me up with a gorgeous girl he went to college with cuz he thinks I should start dating some girls again. Which I want to but I haven't found any all that worth it around my home town lately. So I agreed. He exchanged our numbers after we both approved of eachothers pictures (superficial in my opinion but safe) and we began to chat.

I did great through chatting. She seemed extremely interested, and even texted my buddy thanking him for hooking us up. So I go ahead and exchange a time and place for a date a couple days following the "getting to know you" phase. She lived about an hour away so I drove to her and we went to a basketball game at her college. We hit it off right off te bat. She was giving me many signs such as constantly touching me and trying to hold my hand in conspicuous ways. She'd walk extremely close to me while we were walking... This an that. I took her to dinner after and taught her how to shift my stick shift car (a little game I like to play with some
Girls on dates) and she seemed really into me. Really really into me.

So the date ends, no kiss close cuz I wasn't gettig the vibe and wanted to try to be respectful since it was apparent we'd date again. I know this by her frequent cues towards the future like "well do that, I'll make you this... Blah blah". So after the date the talking and texing slowed. In a strange way. I kept calm and cool and didnt bug her. Just let her handle her shit if something was going on. So a week goes by and I had toget it out of her. First she claims she's busy with school. Then I get more out of her. She claims her ex recently contacted her and wanted to "talk" and that's why she said she was stand off ish. I tell her "well you should have told me if u weren't over your ex" she says "I am. I just don't know what I want right now". So I tell her to "take care and good luck I hope it all works out for ya. I can't be messing with a girl still hooked on her ex. " She replies "ugh okay I guess, you too"

Been about a week. And nothin. I've been having this type of luck lately. I'm a great looking guy, polite, charming, and girls run away from me.
Any advice on what I'm doing wrong? I want to be able to date this girl again.

Author:  Redlight [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

Hey man, here go my two cents...

1. Good evening you had planned... game + dinner + driving school... several locations and events make her feel she has known you for a longer time than in reality...

2. No kiss close... that's not cool... you shouldn't wait till the end of the date (that would be AFC behaviour) but seize the opportunity sometimes in the middle of the evening... and forget that "wanted to be respectful" thinking... making out with a girl is VERY respectful...

3. Don't take a girl's "we'll go there" or "we'll do that" to the bank... women live in the moment, and what seemed like a great idea that evening is not so interesting tomorrow...

4. The "had to get it out of her" part... not cool... imagine her telling a friend about your final conversation "I went out with this guy one evening, nothing happened, not even a kiss... then a week later he gives me the third degree about why I haven't answered his messages... Jesus, he was acting like a needy, possessive boyfriend or something..."

5. If you play it cool, you are the total opposite of the old boyfriend... let him be the possessive and boring guy, and you will be the cool, fun to be around guy that she is attracted towards... she must have felt your neediness and it creeped her out...

6. Delete the "polite" from your description... I'm not saying to become a jerk or something but to be assertive and masculine, those are traits that will get you girls...

That's all for now, good luck!

Author:  Primo55 [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

Ahhh yes. It makes now. Thanks man!!

Author:  Primo55 [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

But so now what must I do? Just sit back? I mean I'm definitely not settling for just her I'll be playing the field but she is the best out of all of them and the one I'm wanting to get.

Author:  Redlight [ Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

You pretty much blew it when you said that "you can't mess with a girl that's not over her ex-BF"... you can reframe it as "I have decided to give you another chance", but that's rather slim... there's a 90% chance she'll just say "What, your entire system of values just changed?" that being said, give her a call, you got nothing to lose... good luck!

Author:  Primo55 [ Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

Yeah definitely blew it. I had too much pride. Oh well plenty of others out there. Thanks for the help man.

Author:  TheFury [ Mon Nov 25, 2013 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

Quote:
So the date ends, no kiss close cuz I wasn't gettig the vibe and wanted to try to be respectful since it was apparent we'd date again.
The above is disastrous. Dating isn't a video game, there is no pause and reload later. When things are going well you ESCALATE, ALWAYS.

Author:  Primo55 [ Mon Nov 25, 2013 10:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

Okay. Now some recommendations for trying to salvage this situation. What are some approaches you guys would take to salvage a situation such as this? I'm just trying to get as much insight as I can because I'm trying to learn. Anybody else who has any insight on the above situation feel free so say something!! Thanks

Author:  afcAL [ Tue Nov 26, 2013 5:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Blind date set up by friend. Went great but...

The only thing I can think of to salvage this situation is calling out the elephant in the room.
Hey, I just had the strangest experience that made me realize I was unreasonably harsh on you. We should meet up and I can tell you all about it.

If she bites, you better have your shit straight.

Al

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