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| empathy & connection https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=168079 |
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| Author: | transforming [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 1:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | empathy & connection |
When a female tells me that she feels under huge pressure, I often express a different opinion. I come from cognitive behavioral therapy, I will often explain to her that pressure is just a product of our mentality and it doesn't exist objectively. We don't necessarily need pressure to live. In other words, there is no pressure or stress in the first place, but our thinking creates it. The implication is that the female doesn't think clearly about life, she doesn't adopt the right attitude in life. However, what I don't realize is that when a female says that she feels under huge pressure, she is just expressing a feeling she is truly experiencing. She does feel under pressure, although there is a way which she doesn't have to feel pressure. By saying that she feels under pressure, she wants to let her bad feeling out, she is seeking empathy. While I may be scientifically correct, logically correct, I clog the channel she releases her feeling. She will feel that I am uninteresting, impersonal, she will feel that I am distant, she will lose the feeling to talk to me. She doesn't feel connected to me. I'm reflecting on why I behave like that. I think the answer is below: Nowadays, a lot of people say that they are under huge pressure, pressure doesn't exist in the first place, it is just a figment of our imagination, however, because so many people say it, and so many people frequently mention it, we begin to genuinely believe that pressure exists. But I know that I possess the truth, I know that we don't have to feel pressure to live a life, quite on the contrary, we can live a better life when we don't feel pressure, I don't mean that we can be lazy, of course we need to work earnestly, but we don't have to be driven by pressure, we can be driven by sense of achievements, we can be driven by our genuine love for life, genuine enjoyment of life. However, when I say these words to a female, she may feel that I am condescending, she will feel that I am conveying a subtext that I am wiser than her, I am smarter than her, I am more intelligent than her, she doesn't want to accept my teaching even if she knows that I may be correct, she won't acknowledge my correct cognition. I preach my deep wisdom, but I lose an opportunity to let her feel connected to me. My obsession to uphold truth overpowers my desire to get intimate with a female. What are your thoughts? |
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| Author: | Soy Un Pony Dork [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: empathy & connection |
I don't get your "wisdom", but that's a different subject. If it's getting in the way of feeling a connection with another person, then wait a while before you unleash that beast. There are lots of people who have strange ideas and thoughts, and if those things come out too soon, then it's a problem. Feel a connection first, then bring that stuff up. And when you bring it up, present it as a "here's what I think" sort of thing. If they don't agree with it, don't let it tarnish what you already have - unless this is something that is so fundamental to your person that you can't even see yourself with a woman who doesn't share the same beliefs. If that's the case then talk about this with 100s of women and see which ones agree with you. |
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