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Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
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Author:  evilknievil [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
OK, I wrote about this one before but in a wrong forum(sorry)- let's put it in the correct one together with the news. I was with her for a while but she fucked it up and I separated with her. She was mentally sick so we kept contact for quite a while and I found a therapist to deal with her but then before the SPAM showed its first results she treated me like a boxing bag couple of timed, which led me to fully stop contacting her even to see how she is doing. All this stayed for about a month and then obviously got a bit better and more stable, and now she is looking for me... four phone calls and three messages in SPAM since yesterday.


In the mean time I took advantage of my time without dealing with her and got out and found another girl, nice and sexy FB but nothing more than that- nothing I would want to stick together with for long. But it's good for now because the new one is pushing the ex further into the past. So how to handle this? Simply ignore her calls? Call her back and tell her that I need time for myself now and I'm not available? I think I need to call her anyhow because there's couple of things she has left here for months after our separation and I need to return them to her at some point. The question is how to do it... I would still want to leave an open door for FWB(if possible) otherwise I don't think that with this woman we can simply become friends. There's too much going on between us and the table was not cleaned when we split. Any advice? Should I take the cruel or the more soft(but always solid of course)path with this one?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
From the sounds of it, you are not over her. Making her into an FWB would not be suitable for your mind set.

You say you want to push her further into the past. Fucking her won't do that.

There is no difficulty or excuse, that tells me you can't text her a neutral location to leave her shit.
Author:  evilknievil [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
Ok, thanks.... so what you propose I guess is just keep the new one and not even answer to her and see how she is doing, right? As for her stuff I cannot text her(I don't have a mobile phone, yes, it can be!)but I guess an email can perhaps do the job.


And yes, it's clear to me that I'm not over her. If I was I would just be friendly like I am with other ex ones. But with this one there is tension.

Cheers.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
Of course this is a decision only you can make, if you want to connect with her again, BUT, with a FWB relationship, it's just sex, keep emotions completely out of it...translation: do not under any circumstances get your feelings involved because that is when problems will occur.
Quote:
And yes, it's clear to me that I'm not over her. If I was I would just be friendly like I am with other ex ones. But with this one there is tension.
It may even be possible one day, but you clearly are not at that point.
Quote:
but I guess an email can perhaps do the job.
Yes just as easy. Even a polite "I hope you are doing well" won't hurt anything.

Quote:
which led me to fully stop contacting her even to see how she is doing. All this stayed for about a month and then obviously got a bit better and more stable, and now she is looking for me... four phone calls and three messages in SPAM since yesterday.
This part, good fucking job Bro! See that how as soon as you get your man balls back out of her purse, they start chasing you?
Author:  evilknievil [ Thu Jun 27, 2013 10:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
OK now the technical question is if I should clearly explain myself that I will be unavailable for her or I just disappear without any word. Ladies say that I should definitely do the first and say something in the line of "I need some time for myself now". On the other hand I, want to break now but leave the door open for the future. So apart from arranging to return her things do I say anything else? She left a message in the answering machine yesterday, saying that she is worried because she can't find me and I should call her "if I want". So I cannot play busy now- if I do not answer, it's war. No problem with that if it's the correct thing to do, I just need to confirm.


EDIT> and something else: what is a good way for her to learn that I'm screwing another woman now? Direct way, not good, it has to be an "accident" that she learned. The other woman is a pro dancer, which is what exactly my ex wished to be so it will create quite some jealousy. :twisted: Any tips on how to bring the news indirectly? No common friends between the two of us, generally there is distance now. I need to push the info myself in a way.
Author:  evilknievil [ Fri Jun 28, 2013 8:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
OK, she made a move that shows she's mad at me now. Still no answer from my side. Let's see what will happen in this case.
Author:  evilknievil [ Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
We accept bets here!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
What are the odds?
Author:  evilknievil [ Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
Haha, you tell me, I never had such a situation before and I know nothing about it. The lady has posted me in SPAM something really bad, that she will shit on my love or something(I cannot translate it accurately). She is throwing a tantrum, it's a really bitchy behavior actually- she is complaining that she called and I did not respond at all and obviously she cannot accept it. But it's about a month that we are not talking now so what's with her suddenly? I can't figure. She broke my phone for two days looking for me and now she is bitching. It was a very low class behavior on her side so I don't think I will appear any time soon unless I just call and tell her to leave me alone.
Author:  JRBobDobbs [ Sat Jun 29, 2013 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
snoop said it best...

but imo tag it then....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtUVQei3nX4
Author:  evilknievil [ Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
English is not my mother language, I'm sorry.... could you explain what you mean in a line or two?

Thanks!
Author:  JRBobDobbs [ Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
The video is "drop it like its hot"

i guess in general what i mean is ...bang her then drop her like you just picked up a hot pan off the stove. If you still have feelings for her then see where it goes.
Author:  evilknievil [ Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hot ex reappears- how to handle her?
She called today and I picked it up- it was the first thing she did, she called me from the bed. She told me she was very sad and she wants to talk to me like the old times and that she feels a tension between us(which is true).

I treated her nicely but pretty strict also on the other hand- I'll meet her the following days and just relax everything and tell her that we are not friends exactly the two of us and we will need some time away from one another. Fuck it, the girl is sick and needs help and I do not want to take advantage of it... there's many others for my bed, thank goodness I'm meeting plenty of girls lately and they like me quite a bit. I thought about it and her being a FWB is a drop of quality- it's all or nothing and all is not possible at this time. I'll just get another woman and move on.
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