Hi guys, first post here.
I have seen others that are similar, but I think my situation is a little bit complicated right now.
I have been flirting with a co-worker for quite some time now - we regularly have eye contact that goes beyond what you have with a coworker, like locking for more than 5 seconds. Kino was actually initiated by her, and based on her giggling she obviously enjoyed being pushed by me because she blocked my way
Apart from that, we laugh a lot together and I can feel that there is attraction between us.
First approach:
I asked her to join me and some other people for an after work party, and she said that she is interested.
Unfortunately, that event never took place because I first became sick and later on because I was not able to set up something up with my unreliable colleagues.
Second approach:
Some time later, I asked her directly whether I can invite her for drinks.
She rejected.
We did not see each other for several days after that. Once I was back to work, I just behaved the normal way and we had a funny first day. After she realized on that day that I am not upset with her, she again started eye contact, including locking, almost staring.
Third approach:
1 week ago, I asked her whether she would join me and a co-worker to a clubbing. She told me that she would be in a specific club with her girlfriends and whether we would consider going there as well.
My co-worker and myself went there. Earlier that day, she told me that her girlfriends changed their mind and that she would not be there. The following day, when I told her that the party was cool, she told me that she did not want to go there just by herself.
I considered this being another rejection, as she did not want to join the co-worker and myself.
Fourth approach:
End of last week, I told her that I would be attending an after work party this week (the one I proposed in the first approach). She asked me whether I would really be going there, but thats it.
That party took place yesterday. And interestingly, she was there as well
She started playing with her hair when she noticed me, but apart from that she was chatting with her girlfriend and the two male friends she brought along. We just shortly sayed hello to each other.
My friend was leaving early, so I was there alone afterwards. I managed to talk to her for some short time, we had a few laughters, but with her two male friends coming back, I was blocked.
Instead of just dancing right next to her I moved on and had some fun in the club. She actually ignored me when she passed me once on her way to the toilet.
When she finally left, she passed and ignored me again and did not even say goodbye.
I actually met her afterwards at a bus stop where she was waiting for the bus with her people. I just approached her, ignored the rest of the group, touched her arm and said "goodbye". She started a conversation, but after two sentences her friends shouted "the bus is here". She only said "See you on Friday!", got on the bus and that was it.
I am wondering whether this situation is hopeless, especially considering that this has been going on for about 3 months now.
And I do know that I should have approached her more often in the club yesterday
I actually regarded her being HSE, but realized over time that she often takes things personal, being it criticism or just jokes.
She also responds extremely positive when I use use disqualification to bring down my value, something I do from time to time to show that I am familiar with self-irony.
At least to her, I should not come off as an AFC: 4 approaches in 3 months shows that she is not my only interest.
I should also say that at work, I usually come along as an alpha guy. Unfortunately, that is usually not the case with women in regular life.