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Need help - is she interested or not?
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Author:  aeromyth [ Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:25 am ]
Post subject:  Need help - is she interested or not?
Hey guys,

I have been receiving mixed signal from this HB and I do not know where I stand with her.

So, she's basically a colleague that I have known for 2 years now. Initially, I thought nothing of her and flirting was out of the question since we worked at the same place and given she also had a bf.

Then, with time, we got to know each other really well. I started telling her about my (mis)adventures with girls and she started telling me how she had doubts about her bf being the right one for her. Actually, she has been going on about this almost since we met, and I am surprised she's still with him.

Anyway, we have been hanging out more and more lately, to the point that she prefers my company to that of her bf's. To be frank, we really spend a lot of time together: we eat together, we walk back home together, we go to the park together, we go to meetups together, etc.

Now, I kept doing my thing and meeting other girls (most of them were weirdos however and I still remain single). She has been encouraging me in my endeavours and has even went as far as to cancel an activity we had planned, so that I may date some girl. On her part, she also secretly dated some guy a couple of times but stopped seeing him after he tried to kiss her.

Lately, the number of signals suddenly increased: she started bragging about how latvian girls are the best (she's latvian of course, duh), she took an interest in learning more about my country and language, she comes to see me in my office every 30 mins for no good reason; even though I am busy at times, she brings her own paperwork and quietly works on a corner of my desk because "my office has good vibes" and makes her feel comfortable, she kinda stares at me in admiration when I talk...

Moreover, it seems like she cannot get enough of me as she calls me every saturday and sunday. She even went back to her country for 1 week and couldn't prevent herself from calling me. It was then my turn to leave for holidays and*kept saying that she will miss me and how lonely she will be without me, etc. She seemed genuinely upset. She was also upset when I increased my dating activity some months ago and told me that I don't spend much time with her anymore.

I have done absolutely nothing to solicit her attention or flirt with her. She just keeps running after me on her own. She even tries to imitate me and take on my hobbies.

So, she either digs me but cannot accept her feelings, or I am just some type of emotional support that helps get some validation (she always comes to my office to show me her new clothes or accessories, and I act indifferent of course...). Things*are really not going well with her bf. i saw them together last and she barely kisses him on the cheek (not his lips). The guy is also kind of a douche and I could tell she was ashamed of his behaviour (she even texted me 30 secs after we parted ways to apologise). She keeps saying she must dump him, she's not afraid to be alone, etc. Yet, she doesn't do a thing. She even felt guilty after dating that other guy and retuned to her bf asap.

I tried a light version of the Boyfriend Destroyer technique on her and it kinda works as she kept criticising him even more. Now, I don't know if I could turn that to my advantage. I have to be careful though because her guy is a huge tough guy, and she also is a co-worker.

Despite her indecisiveness, she's a sweet girl and has plenty of things in common with me (same ambitions, same vision of life, etc.). I have never managed to reach that level of connection with the other girls i have met and I would have definitely asked her out if she was single. Simply put, we are a good match and other people seem to think so too. *Many mistake us for a couple and some of her friends seem to suggest her to dump her bf and go out with me instead.

So, have you guys had any similar experiences. What do you think of that HB's feelings towards me? I just want to know where I stand as I do not want to waste my time. Why is she staying with her dude? Either I am misinterpreting things or she is not even aware of her own feelings.

Thanks in advance for any tips!
Cheers
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help - is she interested or not?
Quote:
she started telling me how she had doubts about her bf being the right one for her. Actually, she has been going on about this almost since we met, and I am surprised she's still with him.
Smoke and mirror BULLSHIT!

The only way your not going to waist any more time on this girl is, GET SEXUAL!
Quote:
always comes to my office to show me her new clothes
Good time to ask about her panties.
Quote:
she started bragging about how Latvian girls are the best
Tell her although beautiful, you have heard Latvian girls are horrible kissers!

Have you tried "sexting"?
Author:  Mak [ Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help - is she interested or not?
One sentence. "dump your boyfriend, I'll take you out "

I think you should take action. She's obviously into you.
Author:  aeromyth [ Wed May 01, 2013 10:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help - is she interested or not?
Thanks for the advice, mates!

You are definitely right that I should act more sexual.
A friend of mine told me I should also be more mysterious and a bit more distant in order to trigger her interest.

On the hand, her being my colleague and being in a relationship doesn't help. I don't want things to get weird between us and her bf could easily send me to the hospital. I think I will keep a low profile for the time being and make a move if she breaks up. Besides, despite what I have written, there are also some indicators that she put me in the FZ (no problem with that though, as I never planned to date her).

What I also omitted to say is that she has a history of triangular relationships. At some point in the past, she was dating 2 guys and couldn't decide between the two (she says she regrets what she did). Could be a red flag if I am looking for a LTR...

Anyway, I will post again if something changes in our situation.

Cheers mates!
Author:  El Hombre [ Wed May 01, 2013 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help - is she interested or not?
Quote:
Thanks for the advice, mates!

You are definitely right that I should act more sexual.
A friend of mine told me I should also be more mysterious and a bit more distant in order to trigger her interest.

On the hand, her being my colleague and being in a relationship doesn't help. I don't want things to get weird between us and her bf could easily send me to the hospital. I think I will keep a low profile for the time being and make a move if she breaks up. Besides, despite what I have written, there are also some indicators that she put me in the FZ (no problem with that though, as I never planned to date her).

What I also omitted to say is that she has a history of triangular relationships. At some point in the past, she was dating 2 guys and couldn't decide between the two (she says she regrets what she did). Could be a red flag if I am looking for a LTR...

Anyway, I will post again if something changes in our situation.

Cheers mates!
free your mind. never dip your pen in the company's ink. its a waste of time. find another who is more psychologically healthy. now your a part of triangle... did you get it?
Author:  _Lothario_ [ Wed May 01, 2013 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help - is she interested or not?
Quote:
Hey guys,

I have been receiving mixed signal from this HB and I do not know where I stand with her.

This is all I read from your post. If you want to know where you stand with her, use this routine. It's called the "Find out where you stand routine." It goes like this.

You: This is where you stand with me..... Where do I stand with you?

And then that's it.
Author:  aeromyth [ Thu May 02, 2013 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help - is she interested or not?
Quote:
free your mind. never dip your pen in the company's ink. its a waste of time. find another who is more psychologically healthy. now your a part of triangle... did you get it?
Hmm, my intention was to keep this relationship at a platonic level. It's just the increasing number of IOIs that started making me wonder what's going on. On the other hand, why would she talk to me about other guys and ask me what I think of them? That's definitely something girls do to friendzoned men...

I have taken a week off from work and she didn't last long. I just received a message earlier today where she asks how I am doing and that she's terribly bored at work without me (I will reply tomorrow, hehe).
The thing is that she never texted me when I was leaving on holidays before. This whole situation started since January when we started getting really close.

It's really weird. I am either some kind of "girlfriend" she can confide in and have fun activities with, or she is attracted to me but doesn't realize her feelings. Or, she is manipulative and tries to secure her way out of her current relationship.

Bummers... Never mess with taken gals indeed...
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