PUA Forum :: Asking them to do you a favour will make them like you!

Never really put two and two together, but this makes a lot of sense.

I was walking to work during rush hour one morning, and a girl who was a few clips ahead of me held the door open for me. I thanked her, and a second later she turns around to take a second look at me.

I feel sort of the same when I hold the door open for people -- men or women. Makes me feel like a better person. Could this be another explanation for why we like people whom we do favours for? Because helping someone makes you feel better, and you associate those "feel better" feelings with that person?

Another possible explanation: asking a girl to do you a favour is establishing domination/submission. Girls love submitting to dominant men. Courteously asking for the time or to grab your drink over there is one way of establishing that relationship early on.

Author:	Boyo [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Asking them to do you a favour will make them like you!
Hi all, I found this topic i read in a focus magazine that is worth sharing: Psychologists believe one of the most effective techniques to get people to warm to you was originally given by American polymath Benjamin Franklin, who said: "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do another than he whom you yourself have obliged" It sounds strange doesn't it? We spend much of our lives justifying our actions and working out why we've done what we've done. If you get someone to do you a small favour such as tell the time, grab a drink, hold something or giving some advice, they're more likely to think they helped you because they liked you. It makes sense, it someone doesn't like you, they wont do the favour. But generally as new people meet, you're both courteous and polite, and will gladly do a favour. Now as we carry out our subconscious self analysis of why we did that favour, it will support the idea you like that person. After numerous tests and research, this curious phenomenon has been label the "Benjamin Franklin Effect" and shows that, when it comes to likeability, there really is no harm in asking! Now add this knowledge to banks on top of kino, escalation, mirroring! Until next post, Boyo

Author:	Havoc2012 [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 2:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Asking them to do you a favour will make them like you!
I studied psychology in high school, and there is a technique called foot in the door which is somewhat similar. I wouldn't use it on an opener but I think it would be worth a shot when trying to bounce the girl or group, or when going into day 2. Foot in the door basically means that if you ask a person a certain thing in set terms straight away, they are much more likely to say no. However, if you get the person to agree to do something but haven't specified the terms, you can do so after they agree. Example 1 to girl: "Let's take a walk in the woods outside the uni" Example 2 to girl: "Let's meet up at x location for a walk" and then when you meet "I hear the woods are beautiful place to take a stroll in, lets check it out" If you straight up ask to take a walk to the woods, your intentions will come across much more evident: you want to take her to a private outdoor location. whereas if you start with a walk and she agrees, it is way easier to simply add the woods as a venue for a walk.

Author:	Boyo [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Asking them to do you a favour will make them like you!
Nice addition there Havoc, I will certainly take this into consideration when arranging second days! Regards, Boyo

Author:	Fly_Swatter [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Asking them to do you a favour will make them like you!
Never really put two and two together, but this makes a lot of sense. I was walking to work during rush hour one morning, and a girl who was a few clips ahead of me held the door open for me. I thanked her, and a second later she turns around to take a second look at me. I feel sort of the same when I hold the door open for people -- men or women. Makes me feel like a better person. Could this be another explanation for why we like people whom we do favours for? Because helping someone makes you feel better, and you associate those "feel better" feelings with that person? Another possible explanation: asking a girl to do you a favour is establishing domination/submission. Girls love submitting to dominant men. Courteously asking for the time or to grab your drink over there is one way of establishing that relationship early on.

Author:	Boyo [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Asking them to do you a favour will make them like you!
Quote: Never really put two and two together, but this makes a lot of sense. I was walking to work during rush hour one morning, and a girl who was a few clips ahead of me held the door open for me. I thanked her, and a second later she turns around to take a second look at me. I feel sort of the same when I hold the door open for people -- men or women. Makes me feel like a better person. Could this be another explanation for why we like people whom we do favours for? Because helping someone makes you feel better, and you associate those "feel better" feelings with that person? Another possible explanation: asking a girl to do you a favour is establishing domination/submission. Girls love submitting to dominant men. Courteously asking for the time or to grab your drink over there is one way of establishing that relationship early on. Couldn't put it better myself, and just to add to the latter paragraph, this application is even stronger in groups, both girls and mixed sets. As obviously it takes more confidence and leadership/alpha male structure. Regards, Boyo

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Author:	Havoc2012 [ Sat Mar 23, 2013 6:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Asking them to do you a favour will make them like you!
Good call fly swatter. Asking for a favor could actually be a good easy opener at loud venues such as nightclubs when long openers have a hard time sticking. Here is my take: "Hey guys do you know where the VIP section is?" (Girls answer either its there, or idk) VIP section could be a very exclusive part of the club or just something anyone can pay for to get in. If its the first case, then it will be a serious DHV because you are social proofed. Ideally see a guy or girl that leaves VIP section and be seen talking to them, cracking jokes etc. Then when you ask where's the VIP they think you are with the VIP group. If its not that big of a deal being in the VIP section, then fly swatters "doing a favor" theory kicks in, and they like you a bit better because there was help involved, either way, it will be easier to stack your next opener on them.

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