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Need help with girl I slept with - don't want to be AFC
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Author:  DonJuan69 [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Need help with girl I slept with - don't want to be AFC
So backstory - went to a friend of friend's party the other night. Met a few girls and #-closed 3. There was one in particular though, quite playful 8/10. Took quite a bit of work but ended up finally getting her and going back to her friends place with her. We would have had sex, but for a particular reason (don't want to mention here), sex wasn't going to happen. Ended up sleeping with her, heavy kissing etc.. and talking with her for hours (some pretty deep conversations). No sex though. Had to leave fairy early next morning (appointment I had), so we quickly kissed and said bye.

I currently live in a different city to her but moving there in a couple of weeks, visiting next week in the meantime a few times.

Text her in the evening afterwards, along the lines of "just made appt, enjoyed last night, and a jokey question referencing something that had happened". She took a couple of hours to text back and basically said was a good night, and replied to my jokey question. I waited an hour then went back with a little joke along the same lines, but a statement not a question.

She hasn't replied and I don't want to fall back into my old-AFC ways by texting back yet. My text game is ok with most girls now, bit different with this one as she's got a really original personality not just good looks.

What should I do now? Give it a day and send a new text? Basically want to meet up with her when I'm around this week, but can't build much text rapport. Should I just ask the question?

With hindsight, probably should have just called rather than texting. Sorry I haven't posted the actual conversations, always a bit cautious online.
Author:  BITmixit [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
I personally would leave it a couple days then text her a very straight opener.

like "chinese or pizza?"

then if it works out I escalate a fair bit into

"bring that round and we'll see what happens!"

or if your the daring type

"Provide that and I'll provide the best sex you've ever had"

You will probably get a "I'm not that kind of girl"

I usually go with "I never said you were but that is how sexy you are"
Author:  BassOpens [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 8:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
We need to restrain our desire to be in contact with that person...

Its very common that right after the girl gives a man her #, the guy texts her or calls her, either the same night or the following morning.

Usually for the sake of keeping attraction or get an interaction going, but we must not feel obligated to do so in order to build attraction... We must learn to look at the big picture.

Talking to her the following morning will probly get an interaction going and yeah, it might help keeping the attraction that was built last night, but sometimes this works against you depending on the girl...

Many girls don't like texting much, instead they prefer meeting in person, or at least dealing with guys who are more willing to ask them out, even if they are going to say no, than dealing with guys who are in love with their Cell phones.

Ok you already know that.. So think about it, maybe your HB is not too much into keeping text interactions going for long.

In your case, given the short amount of time thats passed since your last text I wouldn't be scared or even worried. If you both had a good time and you built enough attraction the night you met, she will get back to you ;)

Now, if you think you should really really contact her in any way, I'd recomend waiting 2 days (at least 1) and calling her to set up a date, or at least to say hi (If you want to be straight, call her; avoid texts for a while. Think of it as a comunicational experiment)...

Remember to keep things friendly, not talking too much (wearing conversation topics out), being funny, etc..

About the reopener, BITmixit gave you a good one that you can also use in Phone conversations "Chinese or Pizza"....

Another one I use (I know many guys use it too), is:

"Hey girl Guess what....... You just got lucky, Im in town and we're going for chinese/pizza/drinks/whatever........ You can have me for the evening..."

:D
Author:  Champion_re [ Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Text her in the evening afterwards, along the lines of "just made appt, enjoyed last night, and a jokey question referencing something that had happened".
.................................
I waited an hour then went back with a little joke along the same lines, but a statement not a question.
The funny/witty messages are probably what made her flake. After doing textgame with loads of girls, I've discovered you should NOT write jokey messages. It unfortunately kills attraction and has often resulted in not getting an answer back. The biggest moment of revelation was when a chick wrote jokey messages and my instinctive thought was: "Wow, she really tries hard..." and DING a light was lit :idea: .

Instead be short and on point. You can ofc have fun with her as long as you're making progress to close a date, i.e. "So, how about you, me, some friends and a soaking wet Timbuktu consert?" (wrote this to a HB8 yesterday on a rainy day where both were going to the same consert). So don't just joke around to be a clown or she'll just think of you as AFC. In my experience textgame should not contain much more than "Hello + make her feel good --> bring up a subject where you can qualify her --> date-close"

You can also be fun by giving her a nickname when writing hello, like: "Hi doo doo, how's life going?" or by being vague to spark her curiousity. Otherwise keep it simple and even better than texting: Call her!!!

Good luck sir! :)
Author:  Champion_re [ Fri Aug 24, 2012 1:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thought I'd share my last facebook text-convo with an HB where I was entertaining without being a clown. Hope it helps and gives some ideas :).

(I bumped into her briefly 3 days ago, after not seeing her for 1 month, and texted her the day after)

P: "Nice to see you again doo doo :P"

HB: "Haha, yeah same!"

P: You looked like you did last time, almost"

HB: "Just almost?"

P: "There was... something different"

HB: "what did you have in mind?"

P: "Maybe the nose, who knows..."
P: "Are you still dancing?"

HB: "No, have actually taken a pause"

P: "Ok interesting. I remember you talking warmly about dancing, theater etc :)"

HB: "Yeah, and I still do :)"

P: " *thumbs up* :)"
P: "So you still know the moves... So-so?"

HB: "Haha ofc!!!"

P: "How nice :). You should teach me some basic street-dance moves next time we bump into eachother. Let's meet up at the festival tomorrow"

HB: "Absolutely! :)"


As you can see I almost never write more than single sentences, and I let her answer before continuing (Do NOT write long texts). I usually entertain by being vague to get her curiosity. I also set her up for qualification by mentioning dancing, so that I can later qualify her for having the skills. As soon as she's proven herself, I date-close.

Cheers! :)
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