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Stupid decision
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Author:  camel [ Mon May 07, 2012 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Stupid decision
Hi,

Let me first introduce myself. I'm a student, now 21 years old and single. This is what happend. About 1.5 months ago, I met a girl. Had not heard of the Double Dating book, but I made some eye contact with her. This went very well. The only thing I said to her was my name the last 5 minutes. When I was at home, she added me and we talked and after a week we had a date :). That was the good story. Then, the date went well and we now have contact almost every day. But, I screwed something. First, when I left, she usually sent some x, or sometimes even 3 x's. But this is not the case anymore. I then read the Double Dating guide and that opened my eyes. Before that time I almost did exactly, but unconsioness, what was told in the book. But then I showed way too much neediness. Always ending conversations with an x, every week asking for a date.. Last friday she was still in a happy mood , but she does not talk as she did in the beginning. How can I drive her crazy? How can I be that special guy as described in the book? How can I get her to sent some x'es again and in the best case: how can I get her to date me again? Because, she is the most special girl I ever met. We match on almost every aspect and I feel a strong connection, and she did too after our first date. Please don't talk of letting her go, I am really interested in changing her feelings for me. I know, there are lots of other girls, but there are reasons why I really really want her. Damn :p, that sounds too desperate and needish. But, do you have any tips? How can I get her to get the special feeling for me? I can share all the results if you'd like ;).
More concrete: so the girl was first very glad she met me, then she was doubting and now I'm too needy. How can I get her in that first state, so how can I let her turn around for 180 degrees? How can I get her to want me? She doesn't date a lot, but she is very bussy. How can I get a date with her without her postponing it all the time?

Regards,
Camel
Author:  Streetfighter [ Mon May 07, 2012 3:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dont message her till she messages you 1st....

dude its a one-itus... we've all had them and you know it. go meet new people to try forget about her for a while.

What i do is go out meet new people and get their numbers then every time i want to talk to my one-itus (when i have one) i text one of the other girls instead
Author:  camel [ Mon May 07, 2012 3:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Dont message her till she messages you 1st....

dude its a one-itus... we've all had them and you know it. go meet new people to try forget about her for a while.

What i do is go out meet new people and get their numbers then every time i want to talk to my one-itus (when i have one) i text one of the other girls instead
No - She added me on Live Messenger and we are almost all the time online, so when I come online, she starts talking to me. So it's not really an one-itus.
Author:  Hakuna [ Mon May 07, 2012 7:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
You already answered your own question. Your problem is that you are needy. To maintain attraction, you need to not be needy. If you want to re-engage her from here on, you'll have to do it in a more detached way. Not ask for dates and such. Make sure that she knows you're TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS. Take your time in responding to her texts. Tease her, make fun of her, tell her "you're not my type."

You have to understand that women only chase the things that they do not have. If your relationship is based on the assumption that you already WANT HER, there's no tension to drive her towards you. You need to be unpredictable, mysterious, let her wonder if you actually like her or not.
Author:  camel [ Mon May 07, 2012 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You already answered your own question. Your problem is that you are needy. To maintain attraction, you need to not be needy. If you want to re-engage her from here on, you'll have to do it in a more detached way. Not ask for dates and such. Make sure that she knows you're TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS. Take your time in responding to her texts. Tease her, make fun of her, tell her "you're not my type."

You have to understand that women only chase the things that they do not have. If your relationship is based on the assumption that you already WANT HER, there's no tension to drive her towards you. You need to be unpredictable, mysterious, let her wonder if you actually like her or not.
Ah, that reminds me of a few weeks ago; she litterally said to me that she had mixed signals :p, so I was teasing her with that. On the unpredictable part: I read that you should not be too (un)predictable? We were having a conversation a week ago and I told her some lame joke and she said "oo, you're so predictable :p". Then I asked whether she could read my mind and that was also fun. And I am (still) mysterious for her, I'm not telling her everything I like/doing and besides, today I had a good chat with a friend of mine. He was also talking about being needy. Chasing is like throwing everything away. So now I am thinking, is it ok to throw in a freeze out? For one day/two days/...? I'm most of the time chatting with her, even when we are working on a project.
And my main question remains: how can I get her from state B (being closed and distanced) back to state A (she teases me and is really open)? What would you do in my situation?
Author:  Bertsky [ Mon May 07, 2012 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
OK, freeze her out for a while. Stay offline. If she texts you by sms, take your time to reply. Be busy, or pretend to be. Give it three weeks and then give her a call, tell her you're going out to buy a new jeans (or something else) and ask if she wants to join you. Going shopping is not a date, it's very casual & girls love shopping. Take it form there..
Author:  camel [ Mon May 07, 2012 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
OK, freeze her out for a while. Stay offline. If she texts you by sms, take your time to reply. Be busy, or pretend to be. Give it three weeks and then give her a call, tell her you're going out to buy a new jeans (or something else) and ask if she wants to join you. Going shopping is not a date, it's very casual & girls love shopping. Take it form there..
OK, but would it not be thinkable she is dating other guys at that time? Is a week not long enough? I am spending almost every day a few times on her. Last Friday, she said she'd like to go out, but I (camel) am missing the spark. On the dating with other guys: before she met me, she met a guy which she would date with this weekend, but she postponed that and said to me: "we will date if we are ready for it". (dating that guy).
I am certainly texting her too much, 'cause she doesn't answer it anymore. I am not chatting with her too much, 'cause she likes it. I apply most of the rules I know: 99% of the time I say goodbye to her, I wait until she initializes a conversation (and then she will keep the conversation running, I really like that about her :)). But she does not end with x or xx or even more. She did 2 weeks ago, but that vanished and I think thats because of my neediness and texting. I think she will forget about me in 3 weeks and the problem is, she is a friend of few of my best friends, so I will probably meet her once (in group setting).
And yes, I really like her, that's why I was texting her that much.. And I think that is my problem. But I can stand above it now. I've had a good conversation with one of my best friends about that (who is also her friend).
And - just watching her behaviour - she is waiting for me right now online. After dinner, I wanted to speak to her, because she had a holiday last week, so I said hello. But didn't received an answer. So I waited, but still no answer. Finally got an answer, but I had to do other stuff and told her that I was bussy. Since that time I am trying to freeze her out, but I just want to talk to her about her holiday and have some fun with her.. But I think I then admit to my neediness?
Another thing - she told me about her being emotionally depentent in her past relations and she improved on that area. So will freezing out really work?
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