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| Follow-up after openings https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=132195 |
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| Author: | Eii [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Follow-up after openings |
Hey, So here is my story I'm currently a student in a foreign country in a quite international university, although the country isn't an English speaking one, but most people do speak and the students are using English to communicate with each other. When I arrived here, after High School I was a shy person, would never approach someone unless pushed to do something, or someone comes to me, although when that happened I didn't have any problems conversioning with them, I wasn't from those socially awkward people, although I was quite shy(I hope that makes sense). Half a year later, I joined an student organization, where we had a project, which we made successfully, and it emerged into something quite big in the university and I'm really happy about it. In one year, my confidence basically made a 360 spin and was reborn. I mean now i can shout in groups of people 30-50+(For example dance classes I'm taking), which i would have never considered before doing(Drawing attention to myself wasn't my thing at all, I started not to give a fuck what other people think about me(which i really was doing a lot, way too much). This I have to thank mainly to the organization, but also to the book The Game(Got a #close on day 2, and a date afterwards, hehe). So yeah, I discovered all this PUA stuff quite recently if I might say, and I really like the stuff that's being put here. So that was a little bit of my background story and here comes the question and I hope to receive a lot of replies here. I really don't have problem opening or meeting new people now, some why now they even find me interesting and just approach themselves, maybe because I usually try to smile, and just have fun. But sadly, there is a problem here, because it's pretty hard to find something to talk about, I mean, usually when I open, I just make up something on the spot, or I get opened, but afterwards, it just gets awkward when the talking stops, especially when there is only 1 person talking to me(doesn't really matter a girl or a guy), and I can't seem to find why it's like that. I always considered myself quite a closed person, although I easily open up to some people and tell them some stuff about myself that they might or might not find interesting(Paradox ?). So yeah, it's either that or just awkwardness. A situation from recent past, I just came to a group of 4 girls(all think quite well about themselves, some needs to get a bit lower than they think) who i knew more or less already, but once I entered the group i brought some kind of strange energy, that there were silence, afterwards it started to move bit by bit, but I felt a bit like being pushed away from them(Still somehow everything went better than expected). From what people say, I'm pretty liked amongst the friends I currently have, and that I'm not liked by them shouldn't be the issue I think. But that's how it is, I'm usually always smiling, being fun. But the problem, I feel some kind of disappointment from them(Maybe they have higher expectations to me?),i guess, that's the correct word, when I get to talk with someone at some point when I just can't find something interesting to talk. So yeah to sum up long story short, what I want to know is: 1. How to follow up after an opener, doesn't matter to who, a group of guys, girls or mixed or solo or w/e, some good points to get me going. 2. How to keep everyone listening(If I come up with something to say, which mostly I just can't for some strange reason, since I don't have this trouble with people that I consider closer friends and speak with them super easily) 3. How to keep the conversation going( good topics? How should I transition between them? etc. ) More detailed explanation would be awesome 4. How to control the conversation? 5. Isolation ? I still can't figure this one out how it should work. Sometimes it just happens randomly, sometimes when I want to isolate, I can't because i just simply don't know how to do it. 6. Rapport ? Also it just happens sometimes, but I want to know how to control it. 7. Transition in general between these points. 8. Any other good tips after the opener that I might not looked up to and you think it's important Will wait for your answers guys, I really hope this made sense. PS: please ask questions if that would help you give me some tips on this sticky point |
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| Author: | Indie_Russell [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I used to suffer from this like you, and I guess still do abit, but I've found the less I think about what to say then the more natural it is whatever comes out. It sort of takes pressure off you to say something. Im a big user of situational openers/subjects, they are the easiest to use and it means there's alwayssomethig to bring up. That's my input I'd love to hear others. |
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| Author: | RetiredRodeo [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
read, study, rinse, repeat. There's never a secret remedy to give you what you're needing right now - experience. Learning the game takes YEARS - and you don't master it overnight. The thousands of women hit on by PUAs all provide feedback - we incorporate that feedback to provide imperical statistical evidence on our success/failure ratio. I know what openers work in a crunch, which ones work when I'm not really feeling like gaming, but the tgt is too hot to ignore...and I know the bold ones to throw a wrench in the game and try going over the top... The transition to fluff, DHV, compliance testing, etc... all happens naturally. It's no longer scripted, or thought about - it just happens. It's years dude, you need to put in the time. It's like a kid who's 17 running game... He's got natural skill - but he lacks the very real experience to have a true understanding or a foundation. That comes with time. He runs game, but he doesn't KNOW game.... There's no nice way to say it - you've got to put in the study with this as well. |
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| Author: | Eii [ Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I fully understand that experience is the most important thing, but I need some starting points here, i mean any tips, just experience isn't much of a tip. Some things are more natural to some than others, and vice versa, if you get my drift. Also you wrote Read Study, well yeah, i understand that's key, but i asked some questions which answers i would like to read and study(If possible) and further on with testing. I mean that's how humanity develops in the big picture, people who are experienced with something can teach other give tips, so they would have a shorter learning curve, and could develop even further with less time, again if you get what i meant here |
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