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| Following Up After My Opener https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=130971 |
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| Author: | Lil Skillz [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 12:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Following Up After My Opener |
Ok so I need some help guys Ive started opening alot more recently (thanks to the stylelife challenge) but its following up after my opener i'm having trouble with. I use the jelous GF opener more times than others. But instead of the shoe box under the bed full of the ex girlfriends bits and bobs. I use my idea of the my friend having his ex's name tattoed on his arm and his new GF wants it covered up. I ask the target her opinion on the matter. She he remove it or not. Anyways... This seems to be working for me to a certain extend but I need some tips on how I.should follow up? Anything will help guys, Cheers |
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| Author: | PitchPerfect [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:44 pm ] |
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Follow up how? Does the conversation fizzle out? Or do you not know how to isolate? Kino build-up? Closing? what do you need help with? |
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| Author: | Smoothy1990 [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:21 pm ] |
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an opener is supposed to do just that, open. once you have opened it is a good idea to get to a different topic. You are an interesting person, so you think and talk about a lot of stuff do your opener, then "oh that reminds me of bla bla bla". That way if this topic dies out you can get back to the topic of your opener, since that one hasnt died out yet. Mystery suggest starting around 5 conversational threads, with 5 open threads you can switch between them and the conversation never stalls. You can even use one of the unfinished threads to number close. "i have to go now but i'd love to continue our convo about X" Don't just stick to one thread and milk it out as long as possible. Think about when you talk to your closest friends. You guys probably talk about 10 different things at the same time saying whatever pops in your head. Do that with chicks and they will feel like you have known each other for a long time. Spontaneity goes a long way! |
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| Author: | chazman0426 [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:42 am ] |
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I was going to ask the same question on here. Another thing I might add is hopefully it is the case where she want's to add to the conversation too. Then use that to start new topics but asking a follow up question ect. Most people naturally do this. You don't want to hog the conversation either or talk too much, if you don't give her a chance to talk she'll loose interest too. I try to keep it 50/50. My thing is though, if she is shy or there is an awkward silence, I always freeze mentally and don't know what to do and I end up saying "So..." and that's major AFC but it's subconcious almost and it's hard for me to not do that. Usually I try and exit or say "I have to go but it was nice talking to you ect." even if it was too early. I was wondering if there was any other advice on what to do if you hit an awkward silence or you just mentally freeze and can't think of something. |
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| Author: | NickStar [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:26 am ] |
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Well if you do MM just dhv with something like cold reading about her or just learn any other routine. I only recommend that if you have low confidence and you're not comfortable talking to girls. Otherwise you can talk about anything you like. But all the chicks want to talk about relationships, sex, celebs gossip bla bla you know. Just make it sexual, playful, cocky funny. You have to spend a lot of time untill you get the right balance really  )
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| Author: | Smoothy1990 [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:47 am ] |
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Quote:
You don't want to hog the conversation either or talk too much, if you don't give her a chance to talk she'll loose interest too. I try to keep it 50/50.
It's rare to find a chick that contributes 50% of the conversation when you first meet her. In most cases I think juggler's 90/10 rule is pretty accurate. You support 90% of the convo, while she only gives 10. If you give 50, and you get 10, you only have 60%, and then the convo dies and you get to things like "So...."Also don't ask too many questions. You are better of using statements. Just like when talking to regular friends  Once she is ready and comfortable enough to give her 50% of the conversation, she will.
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| Author: | Lil Skillz [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:15 am ] |
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Thanks man 
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| Author: | pumpington [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:52 am ] |
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all girls are different, some want to invest, some don't, some girls are extroverted, some are introverted, I have no idea where you are with your confidence, or how comfortable you are etc. but think of what it is that you want, and get your point across to her, if you want to have a conversation with her, and you start indirect, express that by leading a conversation ''let me get your opinion about xyz'', then talk about xyz, until you want to talk about something else, ''you know, yzy, have you ever heard of yzy?, it's totally crazy'' etc. etc. if you have a strategy cool beans, then stick to your game plan until you don't need one, the point is you have some sort of intention behind what you are doing and frame it as you are dominant, and leading towards getting the compliance that is surrounded by that intention, she doesn't lead, you lead, you express what you want and lay out compliance, she either invests or doesn't and you calibrate to how she acts, but what is important is what your goal is, what ever intent you are expressing you will naturally screen girls out to suit that intent, if you have no intention, and don't proactively communicate your intentions, then she will lose interest fast because she will not help facilitate an interaction and lead for someone she does not see a point in investing in, in other words, unless you are offering something of value to her, she will not want to invest in you if your goal is to build a stable of numbers, and end up sleeping with a girl, then the only things you have to keep in mind to actively communicate is sexual intent, and desire for further contact, two things must occur, -show interest in her romantically -request compliance for a further meet and assume a phone number for that meet how ''tight'' your game is, is fairly irrelevant, you can develop a tighter game through practice and applying some theory, but in reality, the less you try hard, and the more girls you open and get blown out/close, the more that the numbers in your phone will actually be interested and lead to something besides a waste of time (until you actually tighten up your game, the more you can avoid wasting time the better), you should work on the basic fundamentals of game before you work on tightening up the finer points, tightening your game will increase your success rate, and generate better responses and more interest, but if you can't utilize the fundamentals and close all that learning how to generate more interest will be useless, it is more or less the same thing as being good looking but not knowing how to escalate -get laid first, establish an abundance -tighten up your game second, when you have alot of girls to practice on and are not needy because you know you have more options to fall back on if you run out of things to say, try a simple exercise for a few weeks, just comment on something about her, relate it to a generalized activity that most people like to do (that the two of you could do together), express that you like her because of that thing that she does, tell her you should do that thing, request phone number, proceed to further the interaction from your phone, rinse and repeat until you have an excess of 100 phone numbers, do as many approaches as you can when you are out example (opinion opener, maybe you stack openers until you don't know what to say) ''it's really cool how you are so laid back, I love laid back people, the kind of people you can just chill out and watch a movie with, you know?, hey you don't like movies do you? her: (blah blah yes or no) if no, she is probably not interested in you, but you should get a blow out/waste of time flake from her anyways just for the hell of it ''well, that settles it, I think im in love with you, we have to watch xyz movie together and talk, as long as you don't turn out to be crazy, who knows what kind of crazy shit could go down, what's your phone number *pull out phone*'' (if that is too complicated for you, and your mind blanks in set, just say something like, ''YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU SEEM KINDA COOL, LETS HANG OUT SOME TIME, LET ME GET YOUR NUMBER'') it doesn't have to be amazing, the only thing is important is that you get your point across, it will screen out the girls who are interested, from the girls that are not interested, what is most important is the frame around what is happening, and the emotions she is feeling at the time, how you screen her out and frame it, is totally dependent on you, if you are being super indirect, with a wishy washy intent of ''lets just talk and beat around the bush'', then most likely you will end up setting a frame of, I want to be your friend, I'm screening for friends, girls that are interested in being your friend, will fall into the frame and you will get what you want if they want it too (in this case friend zone, maybe that is not what you want, but if that is the frame you are setting then that is what she will be led into if she is interested), if you set a flirty frame, with escalation and rapport involved, but it doesn't get a point beyond you want to get to know her and you are expressing romantic interest, then you will most likely set a ''I want to be your boyfriend'' frame, and will screen as such, if you set a very sexual frame, and it is more sexualized then geared towards getting rapport, then most likely you will set a frame of ''I want to have sex with you'', no frame is better then another frame (in terms of success rate), they all just have different intentions, and will screen girls according to your intentions, you have to know what you want, and be confident about how to get that from her, express what you want, and be proactive in getting it, you will quickly find out if she wants the same (you will be screening for this by the frame you set behind the interaction, if she buys into the frame, she is interested in what you are offering, after that you just have to remain congruent to the frame you have set) if you try to get her to set the frame, or to lead, you will run into problems, be confident and sure of what you want, and be shameless about expressing it also use these points to recognize a time waster from a good lead that is worth investing in, criteria to test if a girl is a timer waster: -will she talk to you and be led into the frame you have set (basically will she talk to you after you have revealed you intentions, and is she willing to go along with your intentions) -will she be alone with you -will she let you touch her in a meaningful way if a girl does not meet these three criteria, manage her into a category of time waster, organize your phone numbers (smart phones are awesome for this), good numbers, and time wasters, if a girl flakes 3x in a row, time waster, if she won't give you her number in the first place or won't fall into your frame, she is a time waster, if she gets repulsed from a low level of physical compliance, she is a time waster, continue to express intent, and request compliance from all girls you have made contact with, proactively contact your good leads one time a week, and contact your time wasters once every 2weeks to a month, if a girl starts wasting time, group her as such (aka a freeze out), have an intention behind what you do, and set forth the compliance you want, the compliance she invests in you, will tell you more then anything she could say, what a girl does is more important then what she says it should become quickly apparent to you what girls have more or less interest in you, judging by how much compliance they are giving, and how hard they are trying to invest in you (initiating contact etc.), if your aim is sex, you should set out for this compliance and express this intent sooner rather then later, if she wants the same thing and you don't escalate she will lose interest as she wants to get laid, remain congruent to the frame you set, she will test your congruence to make sure that you are sure of yourself, if you are not she will lose interest (if she was seeking what you originally had to offer), do not be afraid to escalate, over escalation is better then hesitation and you are more likely to recover from being overly eager to close, then being too ''nice'', if she is not interested she is not interested don't bother wasting time, isolate and close, remain congruent to your frame also when you first get a phone number make sure to contact and set out the frame that it is normal for you to contact these girls right after getting the number, while you are fresh in her mind she is more likely to comply with this frame, how ever don't over text girls or give too much attention, you would not want to set out and sub-communicate a frame of, I will text you often, I want you to be my texting friend and give me approval, if she complies to this, that is exactly what you will get, a texting friend, and it will be increasingly difficult to get her out of this frame, once she thinks these were your intentions, you must lead with your intent and set the frame around the meaning of what the interaction is, stay in control of yourself and what you want, be sure of it and don't rely on her approval as you don't need her, there are other girls around every corner GOOD LUCK |
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| Author: | Lil Skillz [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thats awesome mate. Thanks alot |
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| Author: | BLUU [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 8:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
This is exactly what I was looking for. I'm a few days into The stylelife challenge myself. Well a few days bookwise and almost a month workwise. I go to a community college and I average about 3 approaches a day. Only once on days I'm feeling lazy and I hit about ten today, but this was a good day. I've gotten to the point of applying disqualifiers. I've discovered they don't accomplish much without first getting the conversation to hook. Occasionally a girl will give me a new thread to go on, but other wise the conversation dies down after the opener. I'm glad smoothy1990 reminded me about starting five conversational threads. I remember seeing mystery talk about that somewhere(can't remember where though). I'm going to need to start applying that. Maybe I will start by adding just one more thread tomorrow when I go out. Many girls in my social circle often point out the fact that I don't talk much. I'm usually more towards 20% in social circle. I'm really good at getting people to open up and trust me with their deepest darkest secrets, but they don't end up knowing much about me. That's not a way to build attraction in a cold approach though. I'm going to need to listen to pumpington too as far as being more up front with my intentions. I've never been one to advertise how I feel to a girl unless I end up in a relationship. However I've been kicking my approach anxieties ass lately. My opener is solid at this point. It's a little something of my own creation. I'm very proud of it. It's actually based on a story my "study buddy"(Who I mention in my first or second post on the forum. By the way I think she got engaged and dropped out) told me about when we were still hanging out. Now it's time to build more investment in my encounters. Thanks for the advice. Have I mentioned how much I love this place? |
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| Author: | Greenleaf1019 [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:30 pm ] |
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Pumpington activated God Mode in this thread |
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| Author: | Bermuda07 [ Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:48 pm ] |
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That's a very good thread! What are your favorite topics you talk about with your target? I usually do my opener and when the conversation is dying out I say something like "hey, I think I seen your face before, are you from XXX"? Then I use her response as a hook to go on. |
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