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| Psychology of Game https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=128780 |
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| Author: | Psych_ [ Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Psychology of Game |
I'm going to go over a few theories out there that explains what happens when strangers meet. These are things known within the psychological community but have yet to find there way into this community...until now. All of these theories have been tested through experimentation, removing tons of the guesswork, and help explain and reinforce many things I've learned through my own experience to be true. As I go over each theory I'll show how it relates to meeting women. I encourage everyone to read more about each one through simple google searches. Discrepancy Arousal Theory (DAT): When two strangers meet there are expected behavior patterns that are meant to take place. For anyone that has worked with me before, you will know I call these expected patterns the "social script" that we all have. For example if I meet someone and say "What do you do?" it is expected of them to tell me what they do, usually in a favorable light, and then to reciprocate the question back to me. These obvious questions, statements, and replies are the social script taught to us by our parents and society for how to interact with strangers. DAT states that when there are discrepancies within the social script, arousal will take place. This doesn't mean "I'm horny" arousal, but more the literal sense of a spike of adrenaline and awareness. When we create arousal in this way it will create either reciprocation or avoidance. Moderate levels of arousal create positive responses and reciprocation. This is why we teach things such as teasing or push pull...a big reason for why it causes attraction is because it breaks away from the social script and causes moderate arousal. If I ask a girl what I should order and she says the steak it is now expected of me to order the steak. By ordering the chicken I break what's expected, causing moderate arousal. I always teach guys to think of the interaction like a heart monitor with the main line being the vibe you create and every so often a spike of attraction occurs by using discrepancies. You must be careful though because causing high levels of arousal elicits an avoidance response, something we call in this community being uncalibrated. For example if she told me to order the steak and I say, "I don't want the fucking steak!". Cognitive Valence Theory (CVT) This one is interesting because it basically breaks down calibration into six categories. How well a person calibrates to each of the 6, and can get positive perceptions of the 6 from the girl, will effect how receptive she is to "immediacy behaviors" (essentially behaviors that show you're interested in the girl and want to further the interaction or make it more intimate). 1. Culture: Here the goal is to show behaviors acceptable of her culture. Different cultures have different norms, such as personal space or acceptance of touch. Having knowledge about the girls culture and adhering to her cultural norms will help create a positive perception of you. 2. Personality: This entails figuring out what kind of girl she is and showing you are either similar or at least understand her mindset (if being similar is not useful in furthering the interaction). Personality includes sociability, likes and dislikes, shyness & openness amongst many other things. It also includes her pre-existing schema or framework of the world. 3. Interpersonal valence: This is essentially "game" as we know it or the ability to show social intelligence, for example knowing the appropriate times and places to touch. Primarily this is actually made up more of nonverbal communication that's taking place then the actual words being said. 4. State: This factors in the mood the girl is in directly relating to you. So in our case state refers to her current perception of men and recent feelings of being hit on. 5. Situation: What social norms and appropriateness are in place based on the current situation. How you approach a girl in a club will be different then if at the mall...hopefully. 6. Relationship: Basically the scoreboard of the other 5, the longer you interact the more of a perception she has of you. If it's positive the easier it becomes, if negative the inverse. The relationship happens immediately and the longer the interaction the more certain it becomes which is why making a good impression in the first 30 seconds is so vital. Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) When strangers meet we go through certain check points to reduce uncertainty about each other that help decide whether we like the person or not. The first stage uses behavioral norms typically, "where are you from?". The next stage is the personal phase and is where we probe for indicators of values, morals, and personal issues. As we disclose more about ourselves we create more emotional involvement. This is HUGE, because it has been proven that the amount of disclosure we give to another person directly relates to how much attraction we will feel for them. This is why when you open up a lot about yourself to a girl you will naturally feel a bond towards her. The final phase is the exit where we decide whether we want future interaction or not. Now from this a few things were discovered. 1. As uncertainty is reduced verbal communication increases and vice versa. This is why we have the 90/10 rule. Because the girl is uncertain she doesn't want to talk much. But by using increased verbal communication we reduce uncertainty allowing her to feel more comfortable talking to us. 2. Nonverbal expressiveness increases as uncertainty decreases and vice versa. This is why it's important to be expressive right away because it reduces uncertainty and will allow her to be as well...it literally is contagious. 3. High uncertainty causes increase information seeking behavior. That is why you naturally want to ask tons of questions in set. This must be killed, by making statements we give off the illusion that there is little uncertainty. 4. High uncertainty causes decrease in intimacy level of communication content. This is why you always want to assume rapport and act as if you've always known the girl. 5. Similarities reduce uncertainty. This a big thing I do in every set which is find some similarity or commonality I can vibe with the girl about...I just thought it makes conversation easier but it's directly because of URT. 6. Increase in uncertainty causes decrease in liking. This is why if you act shady, especially about your job or something similar, you'll notice an immediate turn off from the girl. So all together we can see a certain pattern of how an interaction should look for a favorable outcome. The big thing to realize is the social script, using cognitive valence theory that script is based on 6 key things and by building those things we focus on removing uncertainty to increase likeability. This alone may be good for building friendships and connection with people however to create attraction we will need to create moderate spikes in arousal as well as have the girl disclose personal things about herself. Sounds a lot like vibing, buying temperature spikes, and qualification doesn't it. Hopefully now you can see what was before only guesswork actually has real credibility in the psychological sciences. |
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| Author: | AndyNY [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Nice post I love the psychology stuff. |
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| Author: | AndyNY [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Nice post I love the psychology stuff. |
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| Author: | jacoboram75 [ Tue Feb 28, 2012 6:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | electronic medical record system |
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