PUA Forum :: GF Goes out on dinner with other guy...

Hey!

Mmm, well i'm in this sort of a pickle here today, my gf goes out with some guy she knows from the past, dinner and drinks...

Obviously, i don't like the idea. She planned it first, then asked me if it would bother me (she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)...

I checked out the guy, he's not good looking at all, and i asked her if she ever kissed with him, or anything... she didn't...

so i give her benefit of doubt, now my pickle is, did i handle the situation right, cuase altough it is bothering me, i said it wasn't...

Also i have not much experience with relationships, pls what would you guys have done?

Thanks for time!

Also i have not much experience with relationships, pls what would you guys have done?

Especially if he is not good looking. girls exclusively cheet with good looking guys^^

(she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)...

Quote:

(she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)...

Ouch. She really said that to you? Wow. That's pretty disrespectful... That one quote should tell you a lot about your girlfriend and how she feels about your feelings...

Drinks and dinner with another guy. WTF I only do that with people I fuck or want to fuck. If my girl told me she doesn't care and is going to see him anyway I would say Get the fuck out. If she wants to hang with him why dont they have coffee and shit, why didn't she invite you

Mixed responses here. My reaction would depend entirely on the girl.

An option that hasn't been mentioned so far is to set up a dinner date or any kind of date with an old friend of yours 'who just so happens to be a girl'.

Recreate the same situation where you say, it doesn't matter what your girl thinks your probably going anyway. But make sure it isn't obvious that your deliberately trying to do it otherwise the shit will hit the fan. Her reactions will tell you whether she is worth it or not.

Quote:

(she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)...

Ouch. She really said that to you? Wow. That's pretty disrespectful. I really think you need to think less about the guy friend and examine the relationship dynamic you have with your girlfriend. Especially if she is talking to you like that. That one quote should tell you a lot about your girlfriend and how she feels about your feelings...

Author:	P1nkstar [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:32 pm ]
Post subject:	GF Goes out on dinner with other guy...
Hey! Mmm, well i'm in this sort of a pickle here today, my gf goes out with some guy she knows from the past, dinner and drinks... Obviously, i don't like the idea. She planned it first, then asked me if it would bother me (she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)... I checked out the guy, he's not good looking at all, and i asked her if she ever kissed with him, or anything... she didn't... so i give her benefit of doubt, now my pickle is, did i handle the situation right, cuase altough it is bothering me, i said it wasn't... Also i have not much experience with relationships, pls what would you guys have done? Thanks for time!

Author:	bbardot [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 7:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: GF Goes out on dinner with other guy...
Quote: Hey! Mmm, well i'm in this sort of a pickle here today, my gf goes out with some guy she knows from the past, dinner and drinks... Obviously, i don't like the idea. She planned it first, then asked me if it would bother me (she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)... I checked out the guy, he's not good looking at all, and i asked her if she ever kissed with him, or anything... she didn't... so i give her benefit of doubt, now my pickle is, did i handle the situation right, cuase altough it is bothering me, i said it wasn't... Also i have not much experience with relationships, pls what would you guys have done? Thanks for time! perfect reaction star you have nothing to worry about. it's a guy friend, it's obvious. Especially if he is not good looking. girls exclusively cheet with good looking guys^^ if you want to be reasured you can show me a pic

Author:	poet1234 [ Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:03 am ]
Post subject:
I wouldn't worry. It seems they are just old friends. Here is something you should ask yourself : Quote: Also i have not much experience with relationships, pls what would you guys have done? Are you worried about whether she cheats of not, or about your reaction to the situation ?

Author:	Mr_Amazing [ Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: GF Goes out on dinner with other guy...
Quote: Especially if he is not good looking. girls exclusively cheet with good looking guys^^ Not true. Unattractive women are the ones who primarily cheat with good looking dudes. But Women in general cheat with dudes who can create a "spark" in them, which is hardly dependent on looks.

Author:	Mr_Amazing [ Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: GF Goes out on dinner with other guy...
Quote: (she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)... Ouch. She really said that to you? Wow. That's pretty disrespectful. I really think you need to think less about the guy friend and examine the relationship dynamic you have with your girlfriend. Especially if she is talking to you like that. That one quote should tell you a lot about your girlfriend and how she feels about your feelings...

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Author:	Wal [ Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: GF Goes out on dinner with other guy...
Quote: Quote: (she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)... Ouch. She really said that to you? Wow. That's pretty disrespectful... That one quote should tell you a lot about your girlfriend and how she feels about your feelings... This appears paranoid. If anything, the important point is the way the OP feels about his girlfriend having dinner with an old friend. P1nkstar, you get to decide what you do with your girlfriend's buddies. Do you make an attempt to be interested in your girl's life and befriend these people, or do you act like a chump?

Author:	Ausnat [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:04 am ]
Post subject:
Drinks and dinner with another guy. WTF I only do that with people I fuck or want to fuck. If my girl told me she doesn't care and is going to see him anyway I would say Get the fuck out. If she wants to hang with him why dont they have coffee and shit, why didn't she invite you

Author:	Wal [ Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:06 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Drinks and dinner with another guy. WTF I only do that with people I fuck or want to fuck. If my girl told me she doesn't care and is going to see him anyway I would say Get the fuck out. If she wants to hang with him why dont they have coffee and shit, why didn't she invite you ^ No.

Author:	Verbal Seduction [ Fri Mar 04, 2011 1:40 am ]
Post subject:
let her have her space be the alpha male

Author:	Jambi [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 3:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Mixed responses here. My reaction would depend entirely on the girl. An option that hasn't been mentioned so far is to set up a dinner date or any kind of date with an old friend of yours 'who just so happens to be a girl'. Recreate the same situation where you say, it doesn't matter what your girl thinks your probably going anyway. But make sure it isn't obvious that your deliberately trying to do it otherwise the shit will hit the fan. Her reactions will tell you whether she is worth it or not.

Author:	Mr_Amazing [ Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:04 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Mixed responses here. My reaction would depend entirely on the girl. An option that hasn't been mentioned so far is to set up a dinner date or any kind of date with an old friend of yours 'who just so happens to be a girl'. Recreate the same situation where you say, it doesn't matter what your girl thinks your probably going anyway. But make sure it isn't obvious that your deliberately trying to do it otherwise the shit will hit the fan. Her reactions will tell you whether she is worth it or not. If you have to go to that extreme, you might as well break up. Those little goofy high school games that women play should be called out, not recreated.Getting revenge will make you look just as childish as the chick.

Author:	smileyfacevai [ Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:32 am ]
Post subject:
agreed with the post above^^^^ do the same back.. get a date with an old gal pal.. dont have to make it flirty or anything, just make sure she doesnt know your doing it back at her.. she will kinda think this thought..and if she askd you are you tryna get back at her.. just be cool and laugh..joke with her that its a secret..give her a kiss on the cheek and leave smiling.. this will get you two results.. she cut her bullshit out and realise your not to be fucked with.. or shel call u on it and do it back to you with motive.. if its the latter, you should tell her to cut the crap...or rethink the whole situation of being with a person like that.. (the last bit rhymed..haha..i am a poet indeed)

Author:	andyyang [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:
She said that she will still be going even though it bothers you. That is really awful man, and to get rid of this, you must show her that you don't hell need her. Try giving her a dose of her own medicine. Tell her that you are also going with some old friend (a girl) and keep your patience and composure. You are the guy here man, you must not show your need for her. If you would react in a paranoid way, then you are just getting things messed up. Even though she is your girl, you must still attack her sexually and not logically. Hope this helps man.

Author:	Mack 2.0 [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: GF Goes out on dinner with other guy...
Quote: Quote: (she mentioned, if it bothered me, she probably still was going to go)... Ouch. She really said that to you? Wow. That's pretty disrespectful. I really think you need to think less about the guy friend and examine the relationship dynamic you have with your girlfriend. Especially if she is talking to you like that. That one quote should tell you a lot about your girlfriend and how she feels about your feelings... Mr. Amazing is right on this one. Forget for a second that your girlfriend is going out with a guy friend and let's ignore the fact that infidelity could happen. When someone says to his or her significant other "I don't care what you think." that is a sign that something is wrong. Granted, it's not right to be controlling, but that's not the same as saying "I don't care what you think." That is another way of saying "I don't respect you and if you have a concern, a fear, or an issue, you (we) aren't worth my time discussing it." At that point, I would dump her. Flat out. I just don't believe in giving my power away anymore. Been burnt too many times. My response at that point would've been "Well, why don't you just take your shit and go. Take care."

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Author:	calendarbuff [ Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:17 am ]
Post subject:
If she says it's nothing, it very well might be. Tell her that it kind of bothered you that she was going to do it whether or not you felt okay with it. That's fair. Controlling who her friends are is a shitty thing to do - it shows that you're insecure and that you don't trust her.