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Going back in a different role - discuss this phenomenon
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=83978		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Machida [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:48 am ]
Post subject:  Going back in a different role - discuss this phenomenon
This is not a personal problem that I'm turning to our community for help answering-well it is, BUT I'm not looking for an answer rather than looking to start a conversation about something I have not yet figured out the answer too. I want to see what peoples opinions are about this phenomenon.

Heres whats going on:
My ex -girlfriend of two years has been has begging to get back together with me, (we have spent a good amount of time apart - 6-7months) i'm not going to go back with her completely but having her around once and a while doesn't seem like the worst idea..

The problem is - she sees me as the comfortable guy rather than Mr. Excitement right now.

I am usually the exciting, dangerous guy that women are sexually attracted to but this girl wants something deeper rather than just a lot of sex (which results in less sex.. it hasnt yet but i know it will.)

My question to the members of this forum: Is it possible to go back to being that guy? or will I inevitably seen as the "nice guy"
Author:  Jits138 [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Going back in a different role - discuss this phenomenon
Quote:
This is not a personal problem that I'm turning to our community for help answering-well it is, BUT I'm not looking for an answer rather than looking to start a conversation about something I have not yet figured out the answer too. I want to see what peoples opinions are about this phenomenon.

Heres whats going on:
My ex -girlfriend of two years has been has begging to get back together with me, (we have spent a good amount of time apart - 6-7months) i'm not going to go back with her completely but having her around once and a while doesn't seem like the worst idea..

The problem is - she sees me as the comfortable guy rather than Mr. Excitement right now.

I am usually the exciting, dangerous guy that women are sexually attracted to but this girl wants something deeper rather than just a lot of sex (which results in less sex.. it hasnt yet but i know it will.)

My question to the members of this forum: Is it possible to go back to being that guy? or will I inevitably seen as the "nice guy"
This is kind of an interesting dilemma. The problem is that her perception is her reality I think. If she sees you as Mr. Nice Guy then it would be hard to change her mind without being a real asshole. If she wants you to be Mr. Nice Guy you will also have to deal with a lot of projection and her mind trying to defend her reality. Sounds like a pain in the ass situation. GFTOW
Author:  bigdog225 [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Why change who you are for your ex, you broke up for a reason, there's plenty of other girls out there
Here's a thread similar to yours. Check it out

ex-saying-they-miss-you-whatthefuck-vt83930.html
Author:  Machida [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Why change who you are for your ex, you broke up for a reason, there's plenty of other girls out there
Your missing the point. In the situation I am under no circumstances going to change, this is about perception. Think of this like a hypothetical question.


That topic has nothing to do with this other than the fact that its about ex-girlfriends..
Author:  Savlon [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:55 am ]
Post subject: 
i think i understand what you're talking about... and the answer to your question is YES! you can go back to "that" guy...
this sort of relates to the friend zone a little... in the fact that if you get stuck in the friend zone you're fucked... however if after you're in the friend zone you completely stop talking to the girl... and then like 6+ months later you come to her as this "new" person who is nothing like the old one... it has the potential to work in your favour... as long as you dont fall into all your old habbits when you're around her... then she'll think that nothing has changed and you're still the "nice guy"

so i dont quite know how to elaborate on my YES answer and whether or not this will help but whatever... :)
Author:  Wal [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Going back in a different role - discuss this phenomenon
Quote:
i'm not going to go back with her completely but having her around once and a while doesn't seem like the worst idea..

The problem is - she sees me as the comfortable guy rather than Mr. Excitement right now.
I know how you can be Mr. Excitement...

Tell her the truth. What you want is an open relationship, right? Or did I assume too much? At least tell her what you just told us about not wanting anything too serious.

Anyway, why worry about what she thinks of you? Be yourself.
Author:  Jits138 [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i think i understand what you're talking about... and the answer to your question is YES! you can go back to "that" guy...
this sort of relates to the friend zone a little... in the fact that if you get stuck in the friend zone you're fucked... however if after you're in the friend zone you completely stop talking to the girl... and then like 6+ months later you come to her as this "new" person who is nothing like the old one... it has the potential to work in your favour... as long as you dont fall into all your old habbits when you're around her... then she'll think that nothing has changed and you're still the "nice guy"

so i dont quite know how to elaborate on my YES answer and whether or not this will help but whatever... :)
This is what they describe in MM for getting out of the friend zone. I have ever tied it but I pretty much think Mystery is brilliant.
Author:  poet1234 [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The problem is - she sees me as the comfortable guy rather than Mr. Excitement right now.

I am usually the exciting, dangerous guy that women are sexually attracted to but this girl wants something deeper rather than just a lot of sex (which results in less sex.. it hasnt yet but i know it will.)

My question to the members of this forum: Is it possible to go back to being that guy? or will I inevitably seen as the "nice guy"

Nice guy,tough guy,rough guy,mother fucking romeo guy- it's good to notice people expectations(and how they label you as),but you'd be insane to act accordingly to each one of them.
You tell me you're usually exciting,dangerous and she doesn't see you as such.What do you wanna do more jump off a block,swim with the sharks ? If she doesn't see you the way you are,how is that your problem ?

Regarding this particular situation,there is something else you should be aware of.
You say this girl wants to settle down.She thinks you are good for her,thus in her mind she makes you a "nice guy",a guy who settles down.You cannot fight with her mind,if you do(say you make an orgy in her backyard) she won't think you're good anymore.
So,the answer : if you want her,no she won't see you as you want
Author:  Savlon [ Thu Jan 27, 2011 6:18 am ]
Post subject: 
yep it sure is jits :)
and i have tried it... and yes it does work :D
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