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What should I do?
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Author:  AGDubz [ Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:  What should I do?
Alright, so I made a thread awhile ago about how a girl i was exclusive with left me for a friend. Short story was i didn't really do anything because they kept saying it was a 'just friends' thing. the general response from you guys was that it was dumb as shit to not say anything and play it cool, and the situation repeated itself and i tried another approach with this other girl.

So a few weeks ago me and this other girl (lets call her A) start having a thing/being exclusive. She was pretty clingy ("I miss you" everyday) and I F-closed her 2nd time we hungout in my car. But for the last 2 weeks ago she's been flaking hardcore on me, re scheduling then reflaking. So it began to go a little downhill seeing as we're both high school kids that go to diff schools and we were barely seeing eachother.

Yesterday a friend of a friend told me he heard this friend, lets call him C, is 'talking' to her and one of the nights she ditched me it was because she wanted to go iceskating with him and his friend and possibly other people. I ended up asking her about it yesterday and she essentially said it was a saturday and it was before i asked her to hangout, then she got really 'annoyed' that i would accuse her of trying to get with another guy. Last night after i was done chilling with another girl (f-closed the other girl because i could smell the 'breakup' coming anyways.)

girl A texts me this long paragraph saying "you're the perfect guy, but i dont want to be tied down right now." (a few nights ago she tried 'persuading' me to not like her by saying she is incapable of feelings which is bs, shes a jealous mess whenever i hang out with a girl. i basically said 'i like you anyways' and she was really happy that i argued back that i like her, if that makes sense)
Me: Alright
Her: Can you agree with me so i feel less ridiculous? please...
Me: I just did.
Her: No need to be rude...
Me: Calm down
Her: okay bye

So thats our last conversation. Did I blow future chances at all with my response? Although I didn't appear desperate at all, im worried i came across as angry.

But what's really bothering me is she's going to this party tonight and im kinda thinking she said this so she can guilt free hookup with a dude.
Author:  cedius [ Sat Jan 22, 2011 8:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Which of these girls do you have a relationship with...and for how long?
Author:  AGDubz [ Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Which of these girls do you have a relationship with...and for how long?
Girl A and me were exclusive, not public though. Girl I hooked up with last night was just a hookup
Author:  bvanevery [ Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
So thats our last conversation. Did I blow future chances at all with my response?
Future chance at what? Sex? Ongoing sex? You're not describing a relationship.
Quote:
Although I didn't appear desperate at all, im worried i came across as angry.
Do you want to sort out "girl A" so that you can have more sex with her?
Quote:
But what's really bothering me is she's going to this party tonight and im kinda thinking she said this so she can guilt free hookup with a dude.
So she's a ho. If you want to ho her, that's fine. You don't own this pussy though, you only rent it. This isn't a relationship. If you have delusions otherwise, you need to find a gal that will actually give you a relationship.
Author:  AGDubz [ Mon Jan 24, 2011 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Update: Texted her a couple nights ago asking her what her reason was anyways. She said because I got mad at her for wanting to hang out with that kid, and that 'freedom is the only thing she has' and she freaks out when someone threatens that. So I basically told her that I'm cool with her hanging with guys and going to parties as long as I can go to parties and hang out with girls. She was still being annoying about it saying 'she's not capable of feelings' and that "I'd realize soon she's not worth the effort" and other bullshit. I pulled the "I can easily go get another girl, but id rather have you card' and she continued the BS. didn't respond to my last text though.
Quote:
Quote:
So thats our last conversation. Did I blow future chances at all with my response?
Future chance at what? Sex? Ongoing sex? You're not describing a relationship.
Quote:
Although I didn't appear desperate at all, im worried i came across as angry.
Do you want to sort out "girl A" so that you can have more sex with her?
Quote:
But what's really bothering me is she's going to this party tonight and im kinda thinking she said this so she can guilt free hookup with a dude.
So she's a ho. If you want to ho her, that's fine. You don't own this pussy though, you only rent it. This isn't a relationship. If you have delusions otherwise, you need to find a gal that will actually give you a relationship.
I want a relationship with her but she's acting crazy.

She didn't hook up with anyone as far as i know, and she texted me an hour or two after it started about why she broke it off (as explained in the update) so she wasn't drunk because it was well typed. I was sleeping so i didn't respond for an hour or two, and she texted me "and now you're ignoring me like last night so i dont even know why i bothered" good sign? seems like she wanted me to argue for her. I'm considering just doing a freeze out or texting her agreeing and saying that I want to find a girl who won't hesitate about dating. (partially true, if shes giving me this much shit NOW, a relationship with her might be annoying to keep up with)
Author:  bigdog225 [ Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes, freeze her out, and do you really think this girl is worth all the effort, not saying she isn't, but from what I'm reading, she isn't haha
Author:  AGDubz [ Mon Jan 24, 2011 8:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Yes, freeze her out, and do you really think this girl is worth all the effort, not saying she isn't, but from what I'm reading, she isn't haha
She was pretty amazing when we first started talking, she reminded me so much of my first long term girlfriend (prolly why i was able to f-close her so fast). Same sarcastic, biting sense of humor but also clingy and affectionate. But on saturday she was just in this shitty mood and broke it off after I told her off on the 'hanging out with other dudes without saying anything' situation. (last time not saying anything completely fucked me over) Her facebook status is "realllllly hope this isn't a mistake...." so obviously she has no clue what she's doing, just like my first LTR girl hahaha.. Pretty sure she's on her period because the last 3 weeks we were making plans to have sex haha.



So in conclusion, I'm not sure either, it's barely one-itis though. Just got back from another girls house. F-closed her twice in 3 hours. :D
Author:  Wal [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ask yourself why you're jealous of your wannabe girlfriends going to hang out with other guys while you're sleeping around with other girls... That is an odd double standard.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Ask yourself why you're jealous of your wannabe girlfriends going to hang out with other guys while you're sleeping around with other girls... That is an odd double standard.
+1

You should probably start out your relationships as NON-exclusive first. It seems like you're getting over-protective of them and tying them down to exclusivity really early on. It shows you've overcommitted emotionally and they'll become less attracted to you because of it.

Also, you might work some more on being very dominant and very giving in the bedroom. If you're really good in bed, a girl will literally fall in love with you after the first couple of times, and you have all the power to dictate the terms of the relationship, if it's exclusive, how often you guys meet and speak, and so forth. I recommend David Shade's excellent products.
Author:  BigRyana [ Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have been in a similar situation when I was younger, and the guys above are right, it is an unfair double-standard. It took me a while to realize this. The best advice I can give is to freeze her out (like stated above) because your behavior is coming off as very needy. She basically told you 4 or 5 different reasons why she doesn't want to be exclusive with you, or possibly even be with you anymore. She is not interested, and the more you push the subject, the more distant she will get. All of those reasons are complete BS btw, all a variation of the "It's not you, it's me" line. She is not interested and probably fclosing other guys. Some small part of her probably still wants to be your friend. Sorry man, but the only possible way to get her back is totally change your behavior by cutting her off almost completely, and making her jealous. You need to spark interest in you again, it is lost at this point. The better (and harder to do) advice would be just to move on and forget about her. Good luck bro.
Author:  AGDubz [ Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I have been in a similar situation when I was younger, and the guys above are right, it is an unfair double-standard. It took me a while to realize this. The best advice I can give is to freeze her out (like stated above) because your behavior is coming off as very needy. She basically told you 4 or 5 different reasons why she doesn't want to be exclusive with you, or possibly even be with you anymore. She is not interested, and the more you push the subject, the more distant she will get. All of those reasons are complete BS btw, all a variation of the "It's not you, it's me" line. She is not interested and probably fclosing other guys. Some small part of her probably still wants to be your friend. Sorry man, but the only possible way to get her back is totally change your behavior by cutting her off almost completely, and making her jealous. You need to spark interest in you again, it is lost at this point. The better (and harder to do) advice would be just to move on and forget about her. Good luck bro.
I recognize the hypocrisy guys, haha. I realize that I'm an asshole for doing what I do, but it's just how I play it until its an official relationship.

As for me being needy, I can in all honesty tell you guys that she was the needy, clingy one. I never texted first, and she was the one who demanded it to be exclusive, not me. I can also tell you guys that I could easily get over her.


Anyways, update is that I ignored her all day (texted me 5 times total since last night with no response)

6AM: :/
6PM: Could atleast told me why you didn't even want to be friends...Not sure why thoughh. But thats coooool.

9PM: Love how ive been trying to be tough all this time buuuut as soon as you stop answering me i freak out. Can you be the reeeaaaal AGDubz again?
10PM: Seriouslyyy? I know youre alive, dont do this
10:30PM: it would be so awesome if you didnt try to pretend i didnt exist.


So the freezing out seems to be doing a pretty damn good job. haha. But should I chill with that and respond to her now? I kind of want her to let it get in her head a little more so that I don't
Author:  AGDubz [ Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:53 am ]
Post subject: 
last text: Okay. Now we're really done jackass.



btw, she posted a fb note basically saying she kissed a dude and trying hardcore to make me jealous about it. not sure if she did or not, but oh well. I'm really tempted to text back, she completely low balled me with the survey thing, but I'm not sure if i should haha.
Author:  BigRyana [ Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you choose to respond, make sure to show no emotion or play her game. Any attention at this point will be like an amazing gift from you. Personally, I would give it more time, but if you do make contact, keep it short. The more interest you show, the less interest she will have.
Author:  AGDubz [ Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
If you choose to respond, make sure to show no emotion or play her game. Any attention at this point will be like an amazing gift from you. Personally, I would give it more time, but if you do make contact, keep it short. The more interest you show, the less interest she will have.
Haha, damn. Ended up texting her last night because she was going nuts.

Me: I'm not trying to hurt you, (girl).
Girl: Nice.
Me: You dont know what you want from me. and I dont know what I want from you anymore, to be honest. but please stop acting like this.
Girl: I dont know what youre talking about. Im not 'acting' like anything. Im just done now.
Me: I tried talking to you about it a couple nights ago and you werent for it. so i figured we were 'done' already.
Girl: Okay well i guess now we know
Me: What did you honestly expect me to do, (girl)?
Girl: Nothing at all Adam
Me: If you expected nothing, why are you upset?
Girl: I didnt expect a hing from you. Im not hurt or upset.
Me: Yeah, you seemed pretty calm and happy in the messages you were sending me.
Girl: You know me so well. Goodbye.

at this point she went to bed I guess, and I was pretty annoyed at her immaturity. Lost my cool a little in the last message, but hopefully nothing too bad.

Me: What were you trying to get ahold of me so badly for?
Me: Because I kinda wanted to hear abut the guy you apparently made out with already.

5am from her: I just wanted to talk to you Adam...
10am from her: and too bad i didnt 'makeout' with anyone...?


Not really sure what I should do next with her, suggestions? I feel like bringing up the fb survey would just be playing into her little mind game, so i dont know.
Author:  cedius [ Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:18 am ]
Post subject: 
You guys are just feeding into eachothers games...this won't become a relationship...if so...it will end in about a month.

Your foundation is based on games and jealousy...how will that become something serious...Bro...just start over with another girl.
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