PUA Forum :: Am I just paranoid?

Hey guys, I have a bit of a problem... I recently got into a relationship with a girl who when I first met I'd had a same day lay with. We were in bed one day and she asked me to get with her, and I said yes because she seemed like a really nice girl.

The thing is I struggle to trust women. I've been cheated on a few times, and I've also fucked quite a few girls who already have boyfriends (I even found them easier to lay). My girlfriend warned me before that she has a lot more male friends than girls, but yesterday she was on Facebook chatting to a lot of goox looking guys talking about when shes going to see them, maybe an attempt at making me jealous? I don't know, I didn't show any jealousy anyway, they could just be friends. What would you guys do?

Then later on I notice scratches above her ass, they look like fingernail marks, but I don't say anything. Makes me wonder if shes been shagging someone else? I know they're not from me...

The reason I'm bothered about it is that she is really horny, she wants it all the time, but I've been too busy, and shes been hanging with other lads, I know one of them keeps trying to shag her too because I heard him on the phone... Is it just me being paranoid? Or would you guys say something? I don't want to accuse her of cheating and then fuck it up if she's not doing anything wrong, but I don't want to let her treat me like a cunt either.

Thanks for the replies guys

Yeah I get paranoid a lot, I've been cheated on quite a few times, I've been with girls with boyfriends (that they didn't tell me about until after we'd had sex) so I find it hard to trust women.

I agree with your comments maria, she does seem to be very honest and speaks her mind most of the time...

I think it's over between us anyway since she doesn't trust me either, one of her friends has told her that they saw me with another girl, which is complete bollocks...

I'm curious, how was she acting towards you? Did she give you attention, or was she distant? Did she show you affection, or was she a complete b*tch? How often did you have sex, did she pick fights or accuse you of cheating? A woman's behavior towards you is a great indication of where the relationship is going, or if you have something to worry about.

If a woman is happy in her relationship and sexually satisfied, you have little to be concerned with. The chances of her cheating will be very slim (typically women cheat when they are unhappy or lacking emotional attention, or sexual satisfaction).

If a woman has slightly more guy friends than girls, I would not worry about it to much. However, if most of her friends are guys, I would have to ask myself why. Typically, women and men don't have the same tastes or interest. So for a girl to have mostly male friends is a bit odd...to me. Does she enjoy the constant attention from male friends? Does she have male friends because she is overly flirtatious and other women don't trust her? Something to think about.

I have slept with many women in the past that were either married, or in a relationship, so I can understand the difficulty you have trusting them. But, we as men are far worse when it comes to infidelity. Hell, women need a reason to cheat (as I said before), men just need a PLACE.

she seemed like a really nice girl.

My girlfriend warned me before that she has a lot more male friends

they could just be friends

What would you guys do?

Then later on I notice scratches above her ass

she is really horny, she wants it all the time, but I've been too busy

Also, try working on ur inner game and mindset, and you won't have these feelings anymore...

I never said or showed anything about this to her, so it wasn't really my insecurities that fucked it up

Author:	AdamThomas [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:12 am ]
Post subject:	Am I just paranoid?
Hey guys, I have a bit of a problem... I recently got into a relationship with a girl who when I first met I'd had a same day lay with. We were in bed one day and she asked me to get with her, and I said yes because she seemed like a really nice girl. The thing is I struggle to trust women. I've been cheated on a few times, and I've also fucked quite a few girls who already have boyfriends (I even found them easier to lay). My girlfriend warned me before that she has a lot more male friends than girls, but yesterday she was on Facebook chatting to a lot of goox looking guys talking about when shes going to see them, maybe an attempt at making me jealous? I don't know, I didn't show any jealousy anyway, they could just be friends. What would you guys do? Then later on I notice scratches above her ass, they look like fingernail marks, but I don't say anything. Makes me wonder if shes been shagging someone else? I know they're not from me... The reason I'm bothered about it is that she is really horny, she wants it all the time, but I've been too busy, and shes been hanging with other lads, I know one of them keeps trying to shag her too because I heard him on the phone... Is it just me being paranoid? Or would you guys say something? I don't want to accuse her of cheating and then fuck it up if she's not doing anything wrong, but I don't want to let her treat me like a cunt either.

Author:	P1nkstar [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just paranoid?
Quote: Hey guys, I have a bit of a problem... I recently got into a relationship with a girl who when I first met I'd had a same day lay with. We were in bed one day and she asked me to get with her, and I said yes because she seemed like a really nice girl. The thing is I struggle to trust women. I've been cheated on a few times, and I've also fucked quite a few girls who already have boyfriends (I even found them easier to lay). My girlfriend warned me before that she has a lot more male friends than girls, but yesterday she was on Facebook chatting to a lot of goox looking guys talking about when shes going to see them, maybe an attempt at making me jealous? I don't know, I didn't show any jealousy anyway, they could just be friends. What would you guys do? Then later on I notice scratches above her ass, they look like fingernail marks, but I don't say anything. Makes me wonder if shes been shagging someone else? I know they're not from me... The reason I'm bothered about it is that she is really horny, she wants it all the time, but I've been too busy, and shes been hanging with other lads, I know one of them keeps trying to shag her too because I heard him on the phone... Is it just me being paranoid? Or would you guys say something? I don't want to accuse her of cheating and then fuck it up if she's not doing anything wrong, but I don't want to let her treat me like a cunt either. Hey, well, that's jealousy coming up from your side, I think in a new relationship you should start with trust... Also, try working on ur inner game and mindset, and you won't have these feelings anymore... And mostly cheating happens when there's something wrong already in the relationship, so, i wouldn't worry to much, if she is infact cheating on you, it's her loss, and she isnt' worth ur time...

Author:	bigdog225 [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:24 pm ]
Post subject:
She probably is cheating on you, hey... she fucked you on the first night, what makes you think she won't do the same to another guy, and she has all these guy friends. I'd leave her, she probably is a whore

Author:	maria_ [ Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:
What a horrible comment the last one! I think you are being paranoid. It might be something really simple. Perhaps she fell somewhere and got the scratches or even have done it with her own nails by accident. It has happened to me as my nails are very sharp and I was accused too for cheating! Anyway, if a person wants to cheat on you they will make sure they have no marks on their body so you wont get suspicious or they might not meet you until those accidental marks are gone. Just because you dont see her often doesnt mean she is cheating on you. And also just because her friends want to have sex with her doesnt mean she will do it. When a woman has sex with a guy , either the 1st date or the 4th is not an indication of how faithful she is. Perhaps nowadays it is more of an indication of how less manipulative she is.

Author:	AdamThomas [ Sun Jan 09, 2011 10:09 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the replies guys Yeah I get paranoid a lot, I've been cheated on quite a few times, I've been with girls with boyfriends (that they didn't tell me about until after we'd had sex) so I find it hard to trust women. I agree with your comments maria, she does seem to be very honest and speaks her mind most of the time... I think it's over between us anyway since she doesn't trust me either, one of her friends has told her that they saw me with another girl, which is complete bollocks...

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Author:	P1nkstar [ Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Thanks for the replies guys Yeah I get paranoid a lot, I've been cheated on quite a few times, I've been with girls with boyfriends (that they didn't tell me about until after we'd had sex) so I find it hard to trust women. I agree with your comments maria, she does seem to be very honest and speaks her mind most of the time... I think it's over between us anyway since she doesn't trust me either, one of her friends has told her that they saw me with another girl, which is complete bollocks... Pitty that you let ur insecurities, hers and yours, ruin a relationship...

Author:	AdamThomas [ Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:35 pm ]
Post subject:
I never said or showed anything about this to her, so it wasn't really my insecurities that fucked it up, just other people interfering...

Author:	SiNfUl [ Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:47 pm ]
Post subject:
I'm curious, how was she acting towards you? Did she give you attention, or was she distant? Did she show you affection, or was she a complete b*tch? How often did you have sex, did she pick fights or accuse you of cheating? A woman's behavior towards you is a great indication of where the relationship is going, or if you have something to worry about. If a woman is happy in her relationship and sexually satisfied, you have little to be concerned with. The chances of her cheating will be very slim (typically women cheat when they are unhappy or lacking emotional attention, or sexual satisfaction). If a woman has slightly more guy friends than girls, I would not worry about it to much. However, if most of her friends are guys, I would have to ask myself why. Typically, women and men don't have the same tastes or interest. So for a girl to have mostly male friends is a bit odd...to me. Does she enjoy the constant attention from male friends? Does she have male friends because she is overly flirtatious and other women don't trust her? Something to think about. I have slept with many women in the past that were either married, or in a relationship, so I can understand the difficulty you have trusting them. But, we as men are far worse when it comes to infidelity. Hell, women need a reason to cheat (as I said before), men just need a PLACE.

Author:	AdamThomas [ Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:22 pm ]
Post subject:
We sorted it all out, and we're back together for now... Quote: I'm curious, how was she acting towards you? Did she give you attention, or was she distant? Did she show you affection, or was she a complete b*tch? How often did you have sex, did she pick fights or accuse you of cheating? A woman's behavior towards you is a great indication of where the relationship is going, or if you have something to worry about. If a woman is happy in her relationship and sexually satisfied, you have little to be concerned with. The chances of her cheating will be very slim (typically women cheat when they are unhappy or lacking emotional attention, or sexual satisfaction). If a woman has slightly more guy friends than girls, I would not worry about it to much. However, if most of her friends are guys, I would have to ask myself why. Typically, women and men don't have the same tastes or interest. So for a girl to have mostly male friends is a bit odd...to me. Does she enjoy the constant attention from male friends? Does she have male friends because she is overly flirtatious and other women don't trust her? Something to think about. I have slept with many women in the past that were either married, or in a relationship, so I can understand the difficulty you have trusting them. But, we as men are far worse when it comes to infidelity. Hell, women need a reason to cheat (as I said before), men just need a PLACE. For reasons I'd rather not talk about, no we haven't had sex a lot, so she's probably not sexually satisfied right now, which is why I'm a bit paranoid. She hasn't been bitchy and she has showed a lot of affection while I've been with her. She does have girls as friend too... But that's exactly what I was thinking, about the constant attention from guys. She was messaging guys on Facebook, good looking ones, talking about when she's going to see them, and they were all kind of flirty messages. Anyway, I saw her last night, we cleared up the whole me being with another girl thing (her friend must have mistaken someody else for me...) and I told her everything I've just told you guys on here. It's all good now I think

Author:	poet1234 [ Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:
Ok my friend,I'm not gonna bullshit you. Quote: she seemed like a really nice girl. I'm sure she's a very nice person,but when I read your post LTR is the last thing on my mind. Quote: My girlfriend warned me before that she has a lot more male friends Your girlfriend actually warned you she has a lot of male friends ? sounds like WTF Quote: they could just be friends they could... Quote: What would you guys do? open relationship Quote: Then later on I notice scratches above her ass Quote: she is really horny, she wants it all the time, but I've been too busy is it worth the stress ? what were you,born yesterday ? Quote: Also, try working on ur inner game and mindset, and you won't have these feelings anymore... Lol you try working your inner game when your gf hangs out with 10 guys and has scratches on her ass You got the message right ?

Author:	AdamThomas [ Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Haha thanks for the honest reply poet... I was actually thinking open relationship but don't know how to put it to her without her getting all pissed off and bitching about me to people and stuff (I'm starting to get a bad reputation, it's a small town where everybody knows eachother) and no it probably isn't worth the stress to be honest. Yeah I get the message

Author:	poet1234 [ Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:
That's OK I live in a small town too,I know how it is.Don't worry people are too insecure about themselves,they won't really spend time judging you.Keep staying with this girl if you like it,just know the situation and take the right decision when is needed(invest less,etc).

Author:	Chelios [ Mon Jan 10, 2011 10:48 pm ]
Post subject:
Paranoia man! The past is affecting you, and of course, this is normal, part of life, a psychological thing. Trust her, you obviously like her to get with you. Work on your inner/natural game though and don't leave the PUA world, just in-case. If she betrays you, then laters, you fucked her, you can do better if she fucks you around. Be positive though. One of my ex's a few years back had male friends, a lot, I thought more was going on, it was just all in my head. If you show no jealousy, she will just want you more, and think your even more kool and not needy. Chat to some of your "girl friends".

Author:	Carmo [ Tue Jan 11, 2011 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:
Doesn't seem like the kind of girl you would want an LTR with. Why not just have an open relationship? As for all the others that are saying to just trust her and that these are inner game issues. Why should he? Trust is earned, not assumed, especially with a girl like this.

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Author:	Wal [ Tue Jan 11, 2011 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:
I'll play Devil's Advocate... I've had girlfriends with mostly guy friends. They were very cool girls. They all said something along the lines of, "Guys are easier to get along with... less drama than with girls." I agree. Anyway, I always ended up being good friends with these dudes, and they always acted like big brothers to girls I was with. Ergo no reason for paranoia. Quote: I never said or showed anything about this to her, so it wasn't really my insecurities that fucked it up I was never able to hide insecurities, no matter how good of an actor I thought I was. You'll be uncomfortable as long as you are insecure, and it will demonstrate itself through your behavior.