PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Relationship Games.. I'm getting tired
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=78398		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Junglepimp [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Relationship Games.. I'm getting tired
I am a busy person. I have a lot of things to do in a day. I cannot possibly devote 90% of it to my girlfriend.
I can't help any of that^

Now what happens is, when I tell her I'm busy or that I can't spend time with her at that particular time due to some reason, she feels I'm playing games. Then in return, she plays games. This cycle goes on and on.

I need her to realize that I have very genuine reasons for not being available to her. When I tell her I have something else to do she usually responds in a "ok/fine/etc" not showing out anything clearly, although she has many a times confessed that lack of attention works her up. But then she'll cancel a date here, text late there, not respond here.. and stuff like that.

It's easy to tell when she's playing it but since I can't prove it, I don't want to sound like a jerk accusing his girlfriend of what he thinks she's doing.

I've tried a bit of honest talk and she says she understands that I have stuff to do.. but I guess she doesn't really understand after all.
Please help!
[/b]
Author:  ariana [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Relationship Games.. I'm getting tired
ignore the bad behavior - be cool when you think she is playing games, she will stop doing it when she realises it isnt getting her anywhere - do not give her any direct attention of any kind when she does this

reward the good behaviour - if she sends you a text 'ok/fine/etc' just text back 'love you baby, thanks for understanding, wish i didnt have to do this thing.../cant wait til we can be together x'
Author:  Junglepimp [ Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Relationship Games.. I'm getting tired
Quote:
ignore the bad behavior - be cool when you think she is playing games, she will stop doing it when she realises it isnt getting her anywhere - do not give her any direct attention of any kind when she does this

reward the good behaviour - if she sends you a text 'ok/fine/etc' just text back
'love you baby, thanks for understanding, wish i didnt have to do this thing.../cant wait til we can be together x'
Okay I get it. Sounds pretty reasonable to me. BUT... Let's just say.. She feels since her games arent working.. She needs to try to play even nore aggresive games. Then what?
Author:  ariana [ Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Relationship Games.. I'm getting tired
Quote:
Quote:
ignore the bad behavior - be cool when you think she is playing games, she will stop doing it when she realises it isnt getting her anywhere - do not give her any direct attention of any kind when she does this

reward the good behaviour - if she sends you a text 'ok/fine/etc' just text back
'love you baby, thanks for understanding, wish i didnt have to do this thing.../cant wait til we can be together x'
Okay I get it. Sounds pretty reasonable to me. BUT... Let's just say.. She feels since her games arent working.. She needs to try to play even nore aggresive games. Then what?
be strong and give a consistent message, ignore the 'bad' behaviour and encourage the 'good behaviour' - remember people do what works - do not weaken or you undo all the good work you have done until that point - work out what is her 'currency' that matters to her, reward her with that, if she is naughty 'put her on the naughty step' until she realises what she has done... 8) not even joking
Author:  jazrid8407 [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:59 pm ]
Post subject:  How would you reply
Hope your chest x ray goes ok...

And if your gonna tell me your gonna text, email or facebook me later, make sure you do it! It pisses me off when I get told Someones gonna do something and it doesn't happen!
Author:  empecc [ Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:07 am ]
Post subject: 
A relationship needs both-side-depedence. In my opinion.
If you are realy busy, try to reschedule your agenda, but don't give her ALL.
This lack of time makes it interesting for her.

In my experience, girls are trying to change their boyfriend to what they want, as long as she cannot accomplish that, you'll be interesting.
Author:  Saro [ Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah Hobbit Raises a good point, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship if you're as busy as you say you are.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Tue Nov 30, 2010 2:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. Make sure you're fucking her GOOD
2. Play the points game (search for my post on it)
3. Make plans as much in advance as possible
4. Send a dirty text or two building sexual anticipation the day before you're gonna meet.

If it keeps happening, sit down and have a quick discussion where you say "listen, you like me, I like you. I don't play games. I try and work with my schedule to make the time to see you because I think we have a great time together. Now, either you want to see me, or you don't. It feels like you're playing games and purposely cancelling to somehow punish me for not always having time for you. Now, we can either drop the games here and see each other when we can, or you can go find yourself a guy who's at your every beck and call 24/7, but I have a feeling you wouldn't be nearly as attracted to mr doormat as you are to me ;-)"
Author:  Junglepimp [ Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm. She later told me "I know you don't intend it, but I don't like being rejected and that's what I'm subjected to most of the time. I know you're short on time but I just feel pissed when you give me the "no", and I can't help it".

That's more or less what she said. So I've gotten even more polite when I say my NOs, and I have had a few discussions thanks to which she demands a little lesser of my time which motivates me to give her a little more of it :) Complicated game, this is.
Quote:
"listen, you like me, I like you. I don't play games. I try and work with my schedule to make the time to see you because I think we have a great time together. Now, either you want to see me, or you don't. It feels like you're playing games and purposely cancelling to somehow punish me for not always having time for you. Now, we can either drop the games here and see each other when we can, or you can go find yourself a guy who's at your every beck and call 24/7, but I have a feeling you wouldn't be nearly as attracted to mr doormat as you are to me ;-)"
That, is kickass.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/