Girlfriend doesn't want me to pressure her into sex. MAD!



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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 8:15 pm 
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Just pick up and move on.

Seriously. You seem to harbor a ton of resentment towards her. Why? She doesn't want sex, her loss, you move on to the next girl.

If sex is something you NEED from her, she will pull back indefinitely.

Follow and they will flee, flee and they will follow.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:42 pm 
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I am liking that saying... I need to follow that myself haha

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:42 am 
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Talked to her in person. I basically laid out all the shit I said I was going to because I just didn't care if I looked like a chump, she was going to know what she did wrong. She realized that she wasn't making any effort and I realized that I typically man-handle her, which puts her on the defensive. I started to think why I do this and I realized if I'm not really interested in a girl, I'll play with her to build my own arousal and keep my interest up. So, in that way, I've been doing relationships wrong and dating women I never really got to know and like outside of sexual gratification. On the plus side, I've been having really good sex.

I didn't think there was a problem with being overtly sexual all the time, but there is. There's a reason not everybody acts like a horny teenager when they like someone, I just assumed it was because they were less passionate than me. It does distract from you appreciating someone as a person. I told her some of the advice you guys gave and for the record, I am not bad at sex and no problem building arousal. I figured I'd ask while I was acting like an insecure bitch anyway. At this point she's going to work to win me back and I'm just going to manhandle her less. She says this will make her more inclined to want sex more often, but what a woman says...


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:21 pm 
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Talked to her in person. I basically laid out all the shit I said I was going to because I just didn't care if I looked like a chump, she was going to know what she did wrong. She realized that she wasn't making any effort and I realized that I typically man-handle her, which puts her on the defensive. I started to think why I do this and I realized if I'm not really interested in a girl, I'll play with her to build my own arousal and keep my interest up. So, in that way, I've been doing relationships wrong and dating women I never really got to know and like outside of sexual gratification. On the plus side, I've been having really good sex.

I didn't think there was a problem with being overtly sexual all the time, but there is. There's a reason not everybody acts like a horny teenager when they like someone, I just assumed it was because they were less passionate than me. It does distract from you appreciating someone as a person. I told her some of the advice you guys gave and for the record, I am not bad at sex and no problem building arousal. I figured I'd ask while I was acting like an insecure bitch anyway. At this point she's going to work to win me back and I'm just going to manhandle her less. She says this will make her more inclined to want sex more often, but what a woman says...
Ah so with a bit more insight it seems you both had a hand in this. Hope it turns out well.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:59 pm 
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It turned out well enough. She made me dinner and told me we need to talk. She said she needed to do some thinking so I got up and was like, "Then I'll give you time to think," and just left. She texted me right afterward that she didn't expect me to leave so fast and that she just couldn't open up to me and she's sorry she hasn't been putting in the effort; she's scared of getting hurt and we should just be friends. I texted back, "K, thanks for dinner".

I'm not sure why I'm angry about this. It's mostly an ego thing and she gave me plenty of reasons not to like her (I have enough resentment and feeling used that I can't be her friend). On our second date, I asked point blank, "So, you're emotionally unavailable?" So I knew this was coming up. Oh well, a girl I was talking to a month ago gave me her phone number yesterday and we have a date sunday. Funny how that works, now I don't have to feel guilty about seeing other people.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:57 pm 
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dude sounds like everything worked out in your favor in the end.. happy for ya!

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:17 pm 
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Yeah, I'm just mad about the wasted effort. I didn't get much of a return for my investment. Oh well.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:39 pm 
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Your time will be wasted again if you keep this attitude. Yes some girls are more sexual than others, but your not gonna find one to bring home to mom that enjoys you man handling her ALL the time. It seems like you might be a little too forward about sex and the way our brains are wired, we can have sex with just about anyone and not feel shit after. It doesnt work like this with women, sex is something that needs to come naturally, otherwise their ASD is firing like a mofo. I would suggest that you are the one that is more sexually reserved than her. It demonstrates non neediness when it comes to sex and it shows that youve had it, its cool, but you dont NEED it. This will also help satisfy the deeper desire you posses. You want her to be the one putting in the effort, the one initiating sex. If you hold out, shes gonna have to push for it. Goodluck in the future. Learn from this and move on


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 8:39 pm 
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Yeah, I figured out always being overtly sexual doesn't work in a relationship like two of my responses up. I also learned not to take on anymore charity cases. I thoroughly disagree with putting the girl in the position to initiate sex all the time. That is foolish. A girl should initiate once for every two times we do is the ideal. If the girl is always initiating and you are always passively waiting for her to put in the work, guess who's really the girl in the relationship.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:28 am 
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guys, sorry to invade, but if you do hold out, how do you know she won't go get it from someone else? this has been mindfucking me for a couple of weeks already...i dont like it


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 11:42 am 
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You will NEVER know. A huge part of a relationship is trusting your partner. Unless you have a reason to be suspicious, you just have to have faith. If you always suspect someone's cheating on you without any proof, that means you're really insecure. You just have to make sure you're doing your part, in the end you really have no control whether she's a bitch to you or not.

I think YungHoudini is saying you should hold out UNTIL she wants it, and then you satisfy her. I've never tried this, but I'm pretty sure she will get tired of always being the one to initiate because even men get sick of initiating all the time and we're more driven. Hence, I disagreed with it.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:59 pm 
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Oh you men and your pathetic logical bickering. Please don't tell me you guys don't realize that women think with emotions. In my AFC days I had relationships where I argued for hours with the girl to give me sex. I'd come up with every reason my pathetic little brain could think of, to no avail. Women always have an answer why they should withhold sex from you, if they can't think of one they will just make something up or say "I don't know".

Hurl some idle sophism at a woman of intelligence. She will not
unravel it, but she will not be deceived by it, and, though she may
not say so, she will let you guess that she does not accept it. A
man, on the contrary, if he cannot unravel the sophism, takes it in a
literal sense.[/i-Memoirs of Casanova

I love women who resist because they present me with a challenge and that, I think, makes what she has more valuable to me because I've worked for it. To be honest, a lot of guys don't respect a women after they sleep with them, me included, especially if she's easy. So her fears are not entirely unfounded. Also, women increase their value by withholding sex to men. But they have feelings for a man which at some point they will decide to indulge.

I always present a girl with understanding when she resists, I don't force her unwillingly(unless she wants that). There's gotta be more EMOTIONAL manipulation if you want a girl to give herself to you. I have different strategies,

one is a very gradual escalation from something innocent but arousing(like massage) to something a little more intimate

you can decorate your place better, you light candles, have scented oils, make your bed, play romantic music. This all sets her mood. You can talk about the weather, but if the background suggests romance you can bet her emotions will be turned on.

I talk about mundane topics that require her to think, that keeps her logic occupied while her emotions let her do what she wants.

Use surprises so she has no time to think or resist

If whatever you do with her is not contributing to her arousal then maybe you should do something that does. Think about it a little more. Don't just spend time with her and then expect because of that you deserve sex. She thinks you should enjoy spending time with her so she doesn't feel like she owes you anything for that.

also, minimize the time you spend but try to maximize what you do during that time. going to the mall and talking for six hours a week is not going to get her to give hersself to you.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:28 pm 
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What is this even in response to? Oh you random thread jumpers and your pathetic diatribes that aren't relevant to the current discussion... My target would not even come to my house for me to set the mood, THAT was the problem. No amount of comfort building, romance, logic or whatever is going to beat intimacy issues. It's up to her and her therapist and I didn't want to stick around during the process. Next time read the shit before you feel the need to be pointlessly condescending.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 2:04 pm 
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I’m going 2 be honest, you’re wrong, and every men on here talking about maybe she don’t like the sex from the guy is wrong as well. In fact if you listen to your woman closely she not telling you she doesn’t like sex, she wants you to stop always thinking about sex, lets be honest we all love sex it’s what makes the world great, but most relationship fail, because one partner has a higher sex drive than the other partner, and if she didn’t want to be with you she wouldn’t even answer your calls you would be on the block list, it’s more about intimacy with a woman, also you stated that you’ve only been with her for 2 weeks, meaning you barely know her she probably wants you to communicate with her more so you can understand why she feels like she does....FYI nobody owes you sex go get a hooker for that my dude


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