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Should i let my gf hang out with a guy
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Author:  wasab6 [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Should i let my gf hang out with a guy
So my girlfriend the other day was hanging out at my house, and I asked her what her plans for tomorrow was. She said that her plans was to hang out with a guy i don't know. I reacted and said that wasn't right to hang out with guys i don't know by herself, and said would she like it if i hung out with girls alone. Is what i did right or wrong?
Author:  dasani [ Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:46 am ]
Post subject: 
I do not believe there is a right or wrong to this; rather, you could have made a better decision. I wouldn't have reacted the way you did because I chill with girls alone and my girlfriend chills with guys by herself ---> trust.

You can't control what your girlfriend does and neither can she control the decisions you make in your life.

I do understand why you would react in such a way, but it shows your insecurity towards that trust factor. A trait of weakening relationships is a decline in trust between the couple. Therefore, I wouldn't be worried about her hanging out with a guy by herself unless she has a known history of cheating.

You should be happy at the fact that she tells you what she's doing instead of covering it up.
Author:  [Vegas] [ Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I do not believe there is a right or wrong to this; rather, you could have made a better decision. I wouldn't have reacted the way you did because I chill with girls alone and my girlfriend chills with guys by herself ---> trust.

You can't control what your girlfriend does and neither can she control the decisions you make in your life.

I do understand why you would react in such a way, but it shows your insecurity towards that trust factor. A trait of weakening relationships is a decline in trust between the couple. Therefore, I wouldn't be worried about her hanging out with a guy by herself unless she has a known history of cheating.

You should be happy at the fact that she tells you what she's doing instead of covering it up.
I was going to post my own reply but I think this pretty much summed up what I was going to say. You don't have control over who she hangs out with and the fact that she told you what her intentions were is respectable. Trust is going to be huge in a relationship and when you start showing signs of distrust or insecurity, the relationship has potential to weaken. Has she given you any reason to have a feeling of distrust?
Author:  dark one [ Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
My theory is that it is not possible for two people of the opposite sex to have a friendly relationship with out atleast one of the people having feeling (sexual, emotion ect ect) towards the other person...in most cases it is the male who wants to sleep with the women and the women is to naive to notice it.

I dont beleve in this whole "you should be secure in your relationship and not show fear" bull shit lol If you want to be naive too then fo ahead but common sens tells us better.

dont freak out just stay calm and ask her what they are doing ect ect...get the details and dont over react. If it bugs you then let her know that you trust her but it bothers you that she is hanging out alone with another guy and ask her reasoning. It simple you are the alpha and you speak you mind....simple and plain you do w.e you want. Do you act like a cry baby and tell her shes your cup cake ferry pants and you will do any thing for her? no...you just stand up for what you beleve in and if she doesnt see you point of view and isint atleast willing to sit down and have a grown up convo about it then she isint worth your time....find another women.

My gf wouldnt dare hang out with another guy alone...not because I wont let her but because she knows it would bother me, she has respect for me, and she wouldnt want to get on my bad side. Would I let her? yeah she can do w.e she wants but she would rather make me happy and she knows that there are consequences to her actions....she could find me doing somthing she doesnt like...see what Im geting at?

she hangs out with another guy = you dont somthing she doesnt like that you want to do.

Relationships are give and take and once you understand a womens emotional state you can really make her react the way you want.
Author:  Ezo [ Wed Apr 07, 2010 11:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
When will people stop that old fashioned backwards my wife is my property talk. It sickens me!

Should I LET her??????? You have absolutely no right to decide for her, she is her own and you can take it or leave it.

What is wrong with people!?!?!?!

Wouldnt DARE??????? On your BAD side???????
Who do you think you are???? Her master??? (In that case, cool!)
However if you are not in a dominant-submissive sexual relationship, not cool! You want a GF, not a slave! Nobody has the right to decide over anybody else.

Girls are people too, the only difference is that they can get my dick hard and you guys cant.
Author:  Conker [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:27 am ]
Post subject: 
I have to agree. Some people seem to think that relationships have to be based on fear-mongering and paranoia, instead of love and trust, and self confidence. This is so fundamental. I don't know how dark one can live constantly being in fear that if his girlfriend hung out with someone else, she'd leave him in an instant. How low would your self esteem have to be. Sorry dude, but I feel your sentiments are not conducive to giving advice on a healthy relationship.
Author:  Kratos [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Although I agree that women are not a man's property, I think the man in the relationship always has an obligation to set the boundaries an maintain the balance.

However, this is something that needs to be done early on. Women tend to look for a man to emotionally balance them. If there is doubt in the sturdiness of the relationship, let it be her doubt. Let her come to you for comfort and reassurance - you do not require this from her, etc.

Girls will often test you for an emotional response. Don't give them one unless you have to. Be totally cool with it - if you think she's only doing it just to test you - your reaction will be clearer and less clouded. Focus on what you are doing to have fun....go and meet some friends / girlfriends of your own.

Trust me, girls are always looking to get any upper hand / emotional response from you. The longer you starve them of it, the more likely they are to appreciate it when you finally give them one. If you look at it this way, the only reason a girl will want to fuck another guy is if you are not doing your job as a man. By being a wimp and getting al jealous and protective, you are saying that you can't handle it...
Author:  wasab6 [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:04 am ]
Post subject: 
I guess i feel this way, because before i started dating this girl she would makeout with a new guy every weekend. Her friends 2 best friends are sluts, but for the last 2 3 months shes been hanging out with me more, and says shes not like that anymore. So does this history give me a word when she hangs out with a single guy or should i just let it be, and ask what there doing?
Author:  Kratos [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Its a difficult situation, but you should definitely stick to your gameplan.

I personally feel that if a girl wanted to cheat on you, she firstly wouldn't tell you who she's meeting. This is another reason I never feel threatened by anything she says. If she didn't want you to know, you wouldn't know.

Point is, you can never know what a girl will get up to in her free time. Having said that, you have a better guage of how much you trust her and what she is like around other guys. Its hard for me to say since I don't know the whole background. However, whatever you do should be subtle as not to let her know that you have jealous feelings.

What I would do:

Encourage her to go and meet this other guy - make it seem like you've been waiting for a moment to 'get away' from her a little bit. Mention you're going to see your buddies and hit a few bars, etc. The next day, don't ask her at all about her day - if she asks you, be vague. Call up your buddy in front of her and say you had a great time and you should catch up more often. Then another night, mention the night you went out, you were chatting to a girl and she said she was into 3somes. Ask your girlfriend if she would ever do it (this will send alarm bells ringing a little in her brain). Any time she wants to do something besides hang out with you, seem cheerful that you can and go and hit the town. Move the threatened state of mind to her brain, not yours.
Author:  WitandFun [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 9:47 am ]
Post subject: 
This stinks of insecurity!! soooo lets have a little pretend story!!

You gf is hanging out with this guy

He acts like a friend but.........

He wants your gf so much, and wants to make his move!

He makes his move on your gf when they are alone together

OH SNAP HE GETS REJECTED!!!!

BECAUSE YOU ARE THE FKING MAN AND NO GUY CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR GF YOU ARE JUST TOOOOO GOOD, WHY WOULD SHE SLUM IT WITH HIM!


Start thinking like this!! Ive been insecure but im changing!! some guy hit on my gf in a club and walked her home.......... she just talks about how amazing her bf is on the way home, he tries to change subject n kiss her and gets the cold feeling of rejection.

Hope this mindset helps!!
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:03 am ]
Post subject: 
i got one of the best solutions.....

you call up the guy , meet him in the club, and try to fuck him in the ass.... since your GF isn't attracted to gay people she won't talk to him anymore.
Quote:
What is wrong with people!?!?!?!

Wouldnt DARE??????? On your BAD side???????
Who do you think you are???? Her master??? (In that case, cool!)
However if you are not in a dominant-submissive sexual relationship, not cool! You want a GF, not a slave! Nobody has the right to decide over anybody else.
EZO BACK TO YOUR CAGE .... LOVE ME BITCH
Quote:
Girls are people too, the only difference is that they can get my dick hard and you guys cant.
i can't confirm this....
Quote:
OH SNAP HE GETS REJECTED!!!!
not if she's drunk and he knows magic, instead of bunnies he spawns GHB from his hat.
Quote:
he tries to change subject n kiss her and gets the cold feeling of rejection.
that's why i tell guys to be persistent and kiss ... RUN THE TRAIN.
Quote:
Its a difficult situation, but you should definitely stick to your gameplan.
difficulty is chosen like at the start of a video game , don't stick to your gameplan unless you have a good lawyer - especially one with the chewbacca tactic. i don't know where you live but physical harm is not allowed.
Quote:
I personally feel that if a girl wanted to cheat on you, she firstly wouldn't tell you who she's meeting.
Girls do tell you they are visiting some guy so you think they are open and honest ... open and honest are different things ... everybody can spread legs but which penis goes in ???
Quote:
Point is, you can never know what a girl will get up to in her free time
80 % of it is thinking abotu make-up .. other 20 % is IDK , box of pandora with paradoxism.
Quote:
Its hard for me to say since I don't know the whole background
knowing it's a woman is enough... in most cases.
Quote:
Encourage her to go and meet this other guy
don't forget to give her some condoms... you don't want STDs.
Quote:
you were chatting to a girl and she said she was into 3somes
she will notice you are supplicating unless she's very dumb. however you have a possiblity she will open up about former so called three-somes ( happened to me lol )
Quote:
I guess i feel this way, because before i started dating this girl she would makeout with a new guy every weekend.
lol you are dating these type of girls ... well i dated these types for a long time - the type that can be kiss closed in 5 minutes without knowing your name.... NO DO you really think she hangs around a guy 7 hours until they get to the kiss......
Quote:
Her friends 2 best friends are sluts
you attract what you are ... you make social alliances out of the value they offer..... just accept the fact slutty is not in your dictionary unless you are a saint, sexual hyper-active is a better word.
'
Quote:
but for the last 2 3 months shes been hanging out with me more, and says shes not like that anymore
SHE IS LITERALLY SAYING SHE ISN'T SLUT ANYMORE LOL...
Quote:
So does this history give me a word when she hangs out with a single guy or should i just let it be, and ask what there doing?
if she only got male friends... well ... be aware. it also depend if she hangs around or hangs on a guy , some girls always want guys to worry about them.
Quote:
Although I agree that women are not a man's property
what the hell is marrige about ? a emotional business contract ? married wifes cheat as well... but ooohhh be aware of her slutty friends. don't watch too much desperate housewives , in reality cumcumbers are out of sale in the supermarket.
Quote:
I have to agree. Some people seem to think that relationships have to be based on fear-mongering and paranoia, instead of love and trust, and self confidence
sometimes you are the only one having these values , girls are engineered to test your values unless she's lesbian.

this guy doesn't need long posts of blablabla ... if you are not the guy she's looking for she will cheat anyway no matter what. some guys want to onw their girlfriends and make themself into the guy she's not looking for.
1. Don't give a fuck
2. Open or not open she cheats if she really wants to cheat , she can either lie in your face or lie around your back.
3. Do you really think she's isn't thinking you are cheating ?
4. WHO the fuck cares anyway ... if she cheats ? just cut her out off your life and fuck another girl.
5. im sick of AFC conversations like '' my girl visitng a guy '' DUDE your GF is getting hit on the street and club by 50 dudes every day. only this one guy would probably sneak up and fuck her because you are afraid she likes him just like she likes you LOL CMON..... YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE'S REALLY A GUY ... maybe he switches genders ffs, some guys even do behave like they got vaginas .... if you can't deal with her visiting a guy - well guess who she talks to when she's working - yes GUYS ? unless you did not had sex for past 2 months , unless she's going out 4 times a week , unless she is talking about ''this guys'' penis lenght - you have nothing to worry about.
6. you just met her on the right time and right place , if you sat on the toilet for 10 minutes longer you wouldn't even met dated her and she ended up with some other guy. you got her for free , if you lose her you lose nothing.[/youtube]
Author:  dark one [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
My gf wouldnt dare hang out with another guy alone...not because I wont let her but because she knows it would bother me, she has respect for me, and she wouldnt want to get on my bad side. Would I let her? yeah she can do w.e she wants but she would rather make me happy and she knows that there are consequences to her actions....she could find me doing somthing she doesnt like...see what Im geting at?

Relationships are give and take and once you understand a womens emotional state you can really make her react the way you want.
The above is a great How To Be A Bad Boyfriend write up. If you take everything he said and flip it 180, especially the emphasized parts, you'll be well on your way to figuring this problem out and having a healthy relationship.

Good luck! :)
How because Im blunt and honest? Im an amazing bf! I treat my gf like gold but if my gf did somthing after I told her it made me uncomfortable I wouldnt sit around and act like it was ok. Theres consequences to every action and she knows that and so do I...a relationship is give and take, push and pull...so be prepared to give and take, push and pull.

In a relationship there are rules and sacrifices that a person must make in order to keep the relationship happy and healthy...when one person doesnt keep up there end of the bargain the relationship becomes un even and starts to fall apart.

Perhaps I was to blunt but my point was start putting your foot down now! start speaking your mind now or you will end up regretting it! If she has enouph respect for you she will understand why it bothers you and she wont do it.
Author:  dark one [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
P.S Don't be fooled by the fact that she told you about him and think she is therefore not hiding him...women dont think like men and are more emotional and what makes sens and logical to us does not to them.

To you it would make sens "she told me she was hanging out with him so its ok" NO this is a big red flag! and as much as many of the people in here might tell you its not they are very wrong! I dont want to make you paranoid but honestly a girl who's interest level is very high would never usually think about haning out with a guy other than you....unless of course they were lond time child hood friends and even that is pushing it.
Author:  dark one [ Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Another p.s lol

Im sure you have heard this line many times and I have used it mant times! works like a charm! and when I used this it my intentions were to hook up with the women not be "friends".

Meet girl in bar:

Me: Give me your number lets hang out some time

Her: I have a boyfriend he's over there...

Me: Cant two people hang out as friends? (Wave to boyfriend) Take me over I want and introduce me.

Her: Ok....

Me: Wait. Put your number in my phone first so we can hang out some more.

Her Ok.


What happends next? we txt back and forth and her hangs out with me...the whole time her bf is "cool" with it (As cool as any guy could be) and she does what? falls for me...the "friends".

See what I mean I am looking at it from both sides (the good guy andthe bad guy) were as most the guys on here are looking at it from a "dont be afc" point of view....I didnt get this far as an pua, and Im not in the amazing relationship I am in now just by coincidence lol Im good at what I do!
Author:  Conker [ Fri Apr 09, 2010 3:01 am ]
Post subject: 
@dark_one: You write like girls have no mind of their own and any guy can take them - this does explain why you give the advice you do though.

You missed the post up there that says if you are doing your job as the man, she won't want anyone else. Yes he will say "can we be friends" and yes she will say yes, but when he goes for the kiss, whether she will kiss back or not is entirely dependent on how happy she is with you.

And if she isn't happy with you, and does kiss him, then forcing her not to physically be near other guys alone will not pull her closer to you.


Dude, I even let my first girlfriend catch up with her ex, one on one, when he came to visit, because even before this PUA stuff, I knew I had nothing to worry about if she was happy with me.
She came home and told me everything, because she loved me and trusted me. She said "he wants me back", with a knowing smirk that said she was quite happy where she was and wasn't going anywhere. I told her it was awesome knowing another guy wants her so badly and I'm the one who's got her. We had awesome sex right away.
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