PUA Forum :: How do you keep her wanting sex once IN a relationship?

Quote:

basically, how do you keep on getting her to want sex?

I feel like if I have to engage sex, then it lowers my value and she'll want to have sex even less, but if I don't engage it, then I am allowing myself to become a non-sexual person (or at least less sexual that I was), and she will become turned off because I am not as alpha

K, I understand the mentality behind this because I'm not long past it myself. The error in the logic here is that by being timit about engaging in sex, then you are showing that you aren't this sexually dominant person that excites her. You need to establish your dominance and stature sexually in order for her to take notice and accept it.

Don't think that just because you're in a relationship with a girl that you can't still keep the sexy running freely. I'm not saying that you go out and start making out with other girls or anything because from the way you're stating things it sounds like you're in a monogomous relationship, which is cool, I'm happy for you and more than a little envious!

Just because you're in an exclusive relationship though doesn't mean you can't still flirt with other girls and express your sexuality in a manner that keeps it "large and in charge". My step-dad often quotes sayings like, "Just cause I can't eat the food doesn't mean I can't look at the menu!" and similar ones. By keeping yourself sexually open to other women in harmless ways like that, yet without getting physical beyond any acceptable levels, you don't lose that allure that you had previously because of the fact that you weren't locked-in.

Also, establish the fact that you still desire her madly and haven't lost that craving to be with her constantly. If you just let her fall in a rut, then she will and she'll drag you in after her. If you keep things interesting and exciting, then she'll do her best to keep up. I'd suggest reading Secrets of Female Sexuality by David Shade and perhaps his manual and that might help you understand the kind of frame you can adopt. I don't agree with everything he says, but mix it in with some solid ethics and common sense and you've got some powerful shit.

Author:	gravesRR7 [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 2:21 am ]
Post subject:	How do you keep her wanting sex once IN a relationship?
My current girlfriend of 4 months and I have really put some breaks on the amount of sex we have. I know that sex dies down a bit after the 'honeymoon' phase, but I feel like there is a fundamental problem for the PUA with this situation.... Okay, so a PUA can display an image that he is comfortable with women and has plenty of beautiful women in his life...therefore a potential partner sees him as a high-value man, who apparently gets laid all the time... but once you're IN a relationship, she knows exactly how much you're getting laid. The problem is that i want much more (we have sex about every other day, at best) but it is increasingly difficult to get her aroused, she is seeing me as less and less of an alpha male. and it is really hard to get out of this. I don't know how to convey the same sexuality as I did early in our relationship. basically, how do you keep on getting her to want sex? I feel like if I have to engage sex, then it lowers my value and she'll want to have sex even less, but if I don't engage it, then I am allowing myself to become a non-sexual person (or at least less sexual that I was), and she will become turned off because I am not as alpha

Author:	str8 slootin [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:04 am ]
Post subject:
every other day isn't that bad. if it's not working out for you, get a new girlfriend. or just fuck random babes and don't worry about a gf. or do both.

Author:	gravesRR7 [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:18 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: every other day isn't that bad. if it's not working out for you, get a new girlfriend. or just fuck random babes and don't worry about a gf. or do both. Getting another girlfriend only temporarily solves the problem. Eventually, it seems like most girls I date run out of libido once we're comfortable. I'm not looking for a wife, but I do want relationships, not just to fuck random girls, but fuck one hot girl for a long time

Author:	str8 slootin [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:31 am ]
Post subject:
there are enough nymphos out there. or consider multiple relationships.

Author:	StaceyJaxx [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:58 am ]
Post subject:
I understand what you're talking about It's like, sex all the time in the begining and you figure I looooove this girl we have a great sex life! Then you move in together or something and it all slows down, well here's the thing ... Its old now, now you have to find NEW things to find to get her aroused... what makes her feel pretty? Keep her, feeling pretty! Pretty people want to bang. When she shows you attention, you reward her with your attention When she wants her "alone time" give it to her, go to bed early without her, go out to the store and don't announce your departure, go outside and smoke a cig (if you smoke) establish YOUR independence, not your needyness for sex (which, if you're getting it more than 3 or 4 times a week... you should be satisfied, if you're not, you might just have to jack off more to get through the in betweens). If she feels like you are only interested in her when you want sex, she'll distance herself sexually to force you into showing her love and affection in non sexual situations. Overall, she wants consistancy in your emotional relationship with her, both when you're having sex - and when you're not.

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Author:	Rye Lee [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:29 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: basically, how do you keep on getting her to want sex? I feel like if I have to engage sex, then it lowers my value and she'll want to have sex even less, but if I don't engage it, then I am allowing myself to become a non-sexual person (or at least less sexual that I was), and she will become turned off because I am not as alpha K, I understand the mentality behind this because I'm not long past it myself. The error in the logic here is that by being timit about engaging in sex, then you are showing that you aren't this sexually dominant person that excites her. You need to establish your dominance and stature sexually in order for her to take notice and accept it. Don't think that just because you're in a relationship with a girl that you can't still keep the sexy running freely. I'm not saying that you go out and start making out with other girls or anything because from the way you're stating things it sounds like you're in a monogomous relationship, which is cool, I'm happy for you and more than a little envious! Just because you're in an exclusive relationship though doesn't mean you can't still flirt with other girls and express your sexuality in a manner that keeps it "large and in charge". My step-dad often quotes sayings like, "Just cause I can't eat the food doesn't mean I can't look at the menu!" and similar ones. By keeping yourself sexually open to other women in harmless ways like that, yet without getting physical beyond any acceptable levels, you don't lose that allure that you had previously because of the fact that you weren't locked-in. Also, establish the fact that you still desire her madly and haven't lost that craving to be with her constantly. If you just let her fall in a rut, then she will and she'll drag you in after her. If you keep things interesting and exciting, then she'll do her best to keep up. I'd suggest reading Secrets of Female Sexuality by David Shade and perhaps his manual and that might help you understand the kind of frame you can adopt. I don't agree with everything he says, but mix it in with some solid ethics and common sense and you've got some powerful shit.

Author:	Sexcellent [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:47 am ]
Post subject:
i had a similar question here in the relationship forum: initiating-sex-foreplay-in-the-relation ... 33644.html the answer, like rye said, is to mix things up. be unpredictable and exciting in the way you initiate things.

Author:	Chief [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:59 am ]
Post subject:
Moving to relationship section

Author:	gravesRR7 [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:34 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: basically, how do you keep on getting her to want sex? I feel like if I have to engage sex, then it lowers my value and she'll want to have sex even less, but if I don't engage it, then I am allowing myself to become a non-sexual person (or at least less sexual that I was), and she will become turned off because I am not as alpha K, I understand the mentality behind this because I'm not long past it myself. The error in the logic here is that by being timit about engaging in sex, then you are showing that you aren't this sexually dominant person that excites her. You need to establish your dominance and stature sexually in order for her to take notice and accept it. Don't think that just because you're in a relationship with a girl that you can't still keep the sexy running freely. I'm not saying that you go out and start making out with other girls or anything because from the way you're stating things it sounds like you're in a monogomous relationship, which is cool, I'm happy for you and more than a little envious! Just because you're in an exclusive relationship though doesn't mean you can't still flirt with other girls and express your sexuality in a manner that keeps it "large and in charge". My step-dad often quotes sayings like, "Just cause I can't eat the food doesn't mean I can't look at the menu!" and similar ones. By keeping yourself sexually open to other women in harmless ways like that, yet without getting physical beyond any acceptable levels, you don't lose that allure that you had previously because of the fact that you weren't locked-in. Also, establish the fact that you still desire her madly and haven't lost that craving to be with her constantly. If you just let her fall in a rut, then she will and she'll drag you in after her. If you keep things interesting and exciting, then she'll do her best to keep up. I'd suggest reading Secrets of Female Sexuality by David Shade and perhaps his manual and that might help you understand the kind of frame you can adopt. I don't agree with everything he says, but mix it in with some solid ethics and common sense and you've got some powerful shit. that's good advice, to keep my status high by exemplifying that I'm desireable to other women without acting on it. I sorta 'turned off' game completely once we got comfortable, and went back to being AFC (cuz it's easy to do that), lesson to take away from this for me: if you bag a girl by being a dominant male, don't expect to keep her around if you don't keep on showing that trait

Author:	gravesRR7 [ Sat Dec 20, 2008 3:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: This is not a pick up, it's a relationship. Good luck that's a good point. but to reinstate what I said in just above this is that although literal game should be turned off now, you should never stop pushing to be fun, alpha, dominant and your best self...these are all things we strive for in Pickup and you should not turn them off

Author:	Risen [ Sun Dec 21, 2008 3:15 am ]
Post subject:
great post, i just met an amazing girl that Ive started dating and will def keep these lessons in my head!

Author:	gravesRR7 [ Sun Dec 21, 2008 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:
good call I do worry about it too much sometimes. I love affection and I feel like I'm overly affectionate with women once we're comfortable and I feel like I have to consciously stop that in order to not push them away. But it's still possible to maintain your right frame, which I've been worrying about too much. after all, if I got her I must've been manly enough for her

Author:	Sexcellent [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:18 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: good call I do worry about it too much sometimes. I love affection and I feel like I'm overly affectionate with women once we're comfortable and I feel like I have to consciously stop that in order to not push them away. But it's still possible to maintain your right frame, which I've been worrying about too much. after all, if I got her I must've been manly enough for her i deal with the same issues on a regular basis. if you get too clingy or needy she will start to back off. when you starting being PUA again, she will be all over you again. at the same time though, if you act PUA all the time you will also push her away. so sometimes it's ok to display a little neediness. i think the answer for relaionships is BALANCE

Author:	BigJohn [ Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:48 am ]
Post subject:
A lot of a woman's attraction happens in her mind first. Are you flirting with her? Do you let her know that you find her sexy? After a couple of months, the initial excitements wears off, and you need to sharpen your creativity to retain her interest. This is a good opportunity to really develop your skills as a lover. Remember if you're good, she'll come back for more. The most important thing is to be observant, and also to ask questions. Maybe you''ve got some habits that just put her off. For example I used to only remember about the condoms when my LTR's already hot and waiting for some serious penis action. I would then leave her lying there naked while I rummage for condoms, never realizing how much it infuriated her until I actually asked her (after there's been a lack of interest from her side) whether there's anything I can improve upon in bed? The fortunate thing is that I could remedy this before she completely gave up on sex with me altogether. Since then, I've also done some research on how a woman's body operates, and it really changed how I approach her. So far so good and big smiles and lots of (more) orgasms than before. Good luck and keep up the good work.

Author:	casanovareborn [ Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:14 pm ]
Post subject:
Make her want it. Bring romance to the table. The objective is to make her fell good in the bedroom, of course that isnt the only objective, but keep it in mind.

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