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this girl has one of the best asses I have ever seen, the sex was always great, and I could control her at will.
Yeah, this is not healthy unless you're talking bedroom games.
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The first red flag was a couple months ago when I was browsing through my old pictures and saw screenshots I had taken of her sexting me. I showed her a few and joked that she rarely talks like that anymore. She then said something about how she only said those things so that she could spend the night with me. Of course I took the statement the wrong way and began to worry.
Sounds like a fun tease comment on her part, and you got neurotic.
Also, women will pull away from sex for the same reasons men do. I start to pull back sexually from girls when they put on weight or become more annoying (talking too much, too available, emotionally-uncentered).
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She also said that when I wouldn't respond to her for days or weeks that she would ramp it up to get my attention back.
Yes, this is called early courtship. Nothing surprising or evil here.
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Once she moved in, her whole demeanor began to change. Now, the alpha traits that I displayed before, began to clash with her bitchiness. We get in these big fights now that seem to stem from nothing.
Alphas don't get into big fights with women. Alpha's understand that you can't argue with women. You can only listen, and give space.
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I take her places, buy expensive dinners, etc, not in a beta way but to show that I will be a provider if she is mine, and I will keep the energy going.
Stop doing all that shit for her. Keep yourself as a challenge. She'll think it's hot if you make her pay, or make her cook.
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All I ask is that she shows some respect and gratitude for what I provide
You can't buy respect. Respect is earned through your behavior....by being emotionally-centered, chill, relaxed, fun, good in bed and focused on your career. Everyday.
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she went to vegas with some mystery guy (who she claims she was strictly friends with) three weeks after we began talking back in Jan 2016.
Holy shit who gives a fuck? This is neurotic on your part. This kind of weird, insecure past-examining is probably infecting the rest of your behavior.
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She explained that her first boyfriend, which began in high school, was cheating on her senior year and into college, and everyone knew about it but her. She also went on to explain that they had a fight one night and that he physically hurt her. She skipped over "a number" of relationships she had in college, saying that one moved away, blah blah blah. Are these girls still lingering on guys that left them like that?
You are acting neurotic, and you lack awareness. I want you to read what I'm about to say very carefully:
Attractive women love sex, just like you and I do! They like to get naked, and fuck people, just like you and I do! They are not fragile, special princesses. They are generally tougher and more socially savy than men. They like to fantasize about eating another girl's pussy, or having a couple guys cum on them, or being the star of a porn.
They like to catch a buzz, laugh, and have crazy sex, where anything goes.
Now, would you like to date attractive women, or a NUN?
Take your pick.
This is all part of getting your emotions under control.
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She skipped ahead to her most recent ex. Again, long story on this one but this is what I found out: They were together for about 2 years. He comes from a wealthy family and more than likely had money. She descibes it as a very "toxic" relationship (wtf) and that I "saved her" (again, not sure how to feel about that).
That's a compliment.
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When I was first introduced to her, I was told that she had a bf (this guy) but that she didn't want to be with him anymore. We started a FWB type of deal Feb 2016-March 2017 which is when we officially got together. I just recently found out that she was "on and off" with this guy during that entire time.
YES! I talk a lot about this here. Men who lack experience seem to think that early courtship (the first couple of months) is all about this pure, crazy thing where two people just know they want to spend the rest of their lives together and there are no previous complications.
No.
That may be how it works for obese people with low social value who are desperate to cling to whatever floats their way, but it does not work this way for strong, beautiful,independent, and sex positive women. They will have several suitors, and the most dominant, emotionally-centered man will win her over, as the other men organically fade from her life.
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She claims that there were two seperate spans of about a month or two where we had "zero contact" and that she was back with him during these times.
So what?
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She claims that this guy knew all about me, and not only did not care that I was fucking her but that he "liked it".
That's one hell of a secure dude.
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Sorry for the lengthy post, but I am really torn on where to go from here. I would like to stay with her but it seems like she is way too damaged among other things and can't see whats right in her face.
You're acting like a weak, neurotic bitch.
If you want to stay with her, you have to learn to control your emotions. Be the fun, chill,relaxed and emotionally-centered guy she fell for.
Everything you've said in this post clearly shows me why she's pulling away from you. You're slipping into beta insecurity.
Man up. She misses that "player" part of you.
1. Stop buying her shit and taking her to dinner for the foreseeable future. It's too much.
2. Cut back all of your texting. You live with her, for fuck's sake.
3. Remove yourself from the home to do your own thing, even if it's walking around Target.
4. Don't argue with her. Be playful, tease, and be relaxed.
5. Be a monster in the bedroom. Bring in toys, etc.
If I found out my gf was banging some guy while I first started with her, and swapping between us, I'd be using that shit in the bedroom, calling her a dirty little whore, or "my little porn star". Turn your insecurity into passion. It seems you are intrigued and insecure about her past sexual flings, so make it into a fun game in the bedroom. Ask her what she liked, tease her, punish her, etc. Things can get really hot from that, and you're learning to channel your insecurities and curiosity into something healthy and fun.
Sex is just sex. And she's with you, not him. Pretty cool man. Think about it. YOU WON. But you're going to lose if you don't expand your horizons about how women operate, and center your emotions.