In a new relationship but the girl is unhappy with career



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:57 am 
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Hi!

So I recently got into a new relationship. The girl is great, she's smart funny and gorgeous. We went on a few dates already and have been messaging frequently.

For her studies she studied a medical related degree about 3 years ago...for whatever reason she's not working in the field as a researcher which is what she wanted (likely could not find a job).

Anyway she's told me she's working as a manager on crazy night shifts but hesitant to say what company it is, she says she took the job to get experience in 'management', however stating she wants to get back into cancer research.

The issue is that I found out she happens to be a manager at McDonalds for the past 3 years :P This is a farcry from the medical degree she did. She doesn't have the professional work experience in her field of study.

I've known her for a month, I want to know whether I'am stepping out of my boundaries here by suggesting uni courses she could do (medical information systems?) to get into her field in corporate and out of 'Mcdonalds' or is it too early in the relationship for that?

I guess the thing is because it's early into the relationship, should I even care/bother?

Just to add in my family they won't ever accept a McDonalds manager :P They've made that clear. Imho I also think if you've studied a degree you got to work in a professional field.

Thanks for the advice!


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 10:16 am 
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Quote:
Hi!

So I recently got into a new relationship. The girl is great, she's smart funny and gorgeous. We went on a few dates already and have been messaging frequently.

For her studies she studied a medical related degree about 3 years ago...for whatever reason she's not working in the field as a researcher which is what she wanted (likely could not find a job).

Anyway she's told me she's working as a manager on crazy night shifts but hesitant to say what company it is, she says she took the job to get experience in 'management', however stating she wants to get back into cancer research.

The issue is that I found out she happens to be a manager at McDonalds for the past 3 years :P This is a farcry from the medical degree she did. She doesn't have the professional work experience in her field of study.

I've known her for a month, I want to know whether I'am stepping out of my boundaries here by suggesting uni courses she could do (medical information systems?) to get into her field in corporate and out of 'Mcdonalds' or is it too early in the relationship for that?

I guess the thing is because it's early into the relationship, should I even care/bother?

Just to add in my family they won't ever accept a McDonalds manager :P They've made that clear. Imho I also think if you've studied a degree you got to work in a professional field.

Thanks for the advice!
No harm in helping her out with future study options, but be careful how you do it. Suggest it to plant ideas in her head and let her make the decision. But keep the GF/BF dynamic at the same time.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 11:47 am 
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Wait you've known her for a month and your already in a relationship with her or just dating?


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 6:24 pm 
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There's nothing wrong with working in a McDonald's as a stop gap until she does what she wants to do. It isn't your place to give her a nudge along. So early on it isn't any of your business really

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:56 pm 
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Quote:
Hi!

So I recently got into a new relationship. The girl is great, she's smart funny and gorgeous. We went on a few dates already and have been messaging frequently.

For her studies she studied a medical related degree about 3 years ago...for whatever reason she's not working in the field as a researcher which is what she wanted (likely could not find a job).

Anyway she's told me she's working as a manager on crazy night shifts but hesitant to say what company it is, she says she took the job to get experience in 'management', however stating she wants to get back into cancer research.

The issue is that I found out she happens to be a manager at McDonalds for the past 3 years :P This is a farcry from the medical degree she did. She doesn't have the professional work experience in her field of study.

I've known her for a month, I want to know whether I'am stepping out of my boundaries here by suggesting uni courses she could do (medical information systems?) to get into her field in corporate and out of 'Mcdonalds' or is it too early in the relationship for that?

I guess the thing is because it's early into the relationship, should I even care/bother?

Just to add in my family they won't ever accept a McDonalds manager :P They've made that clear. Imho I also think if you've studied a degree you got to work in a professional field.

Thanks for the advice!
If she kept what company she worked at a secret, I wont trust what reason she gives for working there. I dunno, 3 years at McDonalds with a medical degree sounds off, I'd guess she doesnt have the degree or is seriously not applying herself....I just won't trust her reasons as in couldnt find a job if she hid what company it was.

As to whether you should suggest something...if convo comes around her being unhappy at work, sure make suggestions and give advice. Thats not saying just start talking about her career unasked, but if it comes up why not give advice or feedback? Sounds like you and your family would have an issue with her position, which is your right, but stupid imo. If the chick wants to be whatever, Im fine with that and fuck who has a problem with it. If your advice comes from a place of changing her to be "acceptable" for you and your family, dont give it...if it comes from trying to help her along with what she wants to do, sure go ahead.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:25 am 
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What possible reason could you ever have to work at McDonalds if you hold a medical degree?

There's no reason. Unless you're not capable of getting a job in the medical field, that is.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 1:21 am 
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What possible reason could you ever have to work at McDonalds if you hold a medical degree?

There's no reason. Unless you're not capable of getting a job in the medical field, that is.
Maybe she's forever 'Pre med', like everyone else


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 3:13 am 
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I've known her for a month, I want to know whether I'am stepping out of my boundaries here by suggesting uni courses she could do (medical information systems?) to get into her field in corporate and out of 'Mcdonalds' or is it too early in the relationship for that?

That's batshit crazy. Incredibly needy and over-stepping.

Quote:
Just to add in my family they won't ever accept a McDonalds manager
What a terrible sounding family.

Think for yourself. Attraction and biology > human constructs and materialism.

Act like a fucking man and never let your family dictate your social decisions.

I have found that men and/or women who have these kinds of agendas early on in relationships tend to grow old, alone. Or be stuck with someone they're not attracted to.

1. Does this person make me smile?
2. Do I have fun with this person?
3. Does this person turn me on mentally and physically?

Then we all die. How do you want to spend the tiny amount of time we have here?

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 1:45 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
I've known her for a month, I want to know whether I'am stepping out of my boundaries here by suggesting uni courses she could do (medical information systems?) to get into her field in corporate and out of 'Mcdonalds' or is it too early in the relationship for that?

That's batshit crazy. Incredibly needy and over-stepping.

Quote:
Just to add in my family they won't ever accept a McDonalds manager
What a terrible sounding family.

Think for yourself. Attraction and biology > human constructs and materialism.

Act like a fucking man and never let your family dictate your social decisions.

I have found that men and/or women who have these kinds of agendas early on in relationships tend to grow old, alone. Or be stuck with someone they're not attracted to.

1. Does this person make me smile?
2. Do I have fun with this person?
3. Does this person turn me on mentally and physically?

Then we all die. How do you want to spend the tiny amount of time we have here?
100% this. Where your girl works temporarily, doesn't devalue her or your relationship. She's in employment and isn't dependent on you, that's a good thing.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:38 am 
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1. Does this person make me smile?
2. Do I have fun with this person?
3. Does this person turn me on mentally and physically?

Then we all die. How do you want to spend the tiny amount of time we have here?
YES. Life is about moments.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:42 am 
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A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:47 am 
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100% this. Where your girl works temporarily, doesn't devalue her or your relationship. She's in employment and isn't dependent on you, that's a good thing.
Way to lower standards.

3 years is not "temporary". If she wants to have a rocking career at McDonalds, more power to her. But when you're bullshitting that it's a temporary job to improve your management skills for your future medical career... that's just delusion.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:35 pm 
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Quote:
100% this. Where your girl works temporarily, doesn't devalue her or your relationship. She's in employment and isn't dependent on you, that's a good thing.
Way to lower standards.

3 years is not "temporary". If she wants to have a rocking career at McDonalds, more power to her. But when you're bullshitting that it's a temporary job to improve your management skills for your future medical career... that's just delusion.
It's temporary if she doesn't plan on making that her full career, IMO.
I couldn't care less about where my girlfriend works tbh. As long as she's happy and it's going where she wants it too. Way better than being unemployed and chasing your future career. Standards are subjective.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 4:38 pm 
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It's temporary if she doesn't plan on making that her full career, IMO.
I couldn't care less about where my girlfriend works tbh. As long as she's happy and it's going where she wants it too. Way better than being unemployed and chasing your future career. Standards are subjective.
I honestly get where you are coming from. This is the way that men think. It's not a good way of thinking though unless you are prepared to take care of her financially in the future or you see your relationship as temporary. I've seen a lot of guys that have fallen into this trap:

1. Guy gets into a relationship with a girl that makes a low wage
2. Guy ends up moving in with his "hardworking" girlfriend
3. Girlfriend quits/loses her job and can never seem to find another one
4. Girlfriend incrementally increases her spending without drawing a salary and at the same time he's having less sex with her.

OP, when you get a girl just accept her for who she is now. Don't try to change her into being who you want her to be. Instead, get into relationships with women that meet your standards.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:39 pm 
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OP, when you get a girl just accept her for who she is now. Don't try to change her into being who you want her to be. Instead, get into relationships with women that meet your standards.
Absolutely agree with this.

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