Am I 'giving my gf too much freedom'



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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:09 am 
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Hi guys I have a quick question. I'm ashamed to even be making this thread but a lot of friends have been making comments which might have made over think this.

My girlfriend wants to go away for a week to her friends Uni for 'Freshers'. I told to her have fun and that I was cool with it. I'm personally a huge believer in trust and letting her live her life. But ALOT of people have been saying that her going to party and drink, she did say she would control herself and not get drunk, is not 'girlfriend behaviour' and I'm giving her too much freedom/ letting her to w.e she wants.

Am I giving her too much freedom and is her going on freshers such a big deal. Should I really be telling her she can't go


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 10:12 am 
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No you shouldn't tell her she can't go. I'm guessing she isn't at Uni or isn't going to uni herself? If so she probably just wants to experience Freshers week with her friend

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:47 pm 
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Let her live her life unless she is doing something suspicious or something which bothers you (this doesn't).

If she gets too drunk then by all means tell her that isn't acceptable but until she does something you mind relax and continue being the trusting non needy boyfriend


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 1:29 pm 
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No you shouldn't tell her she can't go. I'm guessing she isn't at Uni or isn't going to uni herself? If so she probably just wants to experience Freshers week with her friend
She does go uni but wants to go Freshers with her friend


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 3:41 pm 
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No you shouldn't tell her she can't go. I'm guessing she isn't at Uni or isn't going to uni herself? If so she probably just wants to experience Freshers week with her friend
She does go uni but wants to go Freshers with her friend
OK so she wants to experience Freshers with her friend. Pretty normal. Do you go to uni with her?

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 4:29 pm 
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No you shouldn't tell her she can't go. I'm guessing she isn't at Uni or isn't going to uni herself? If so she probably just wants to experience Freshers week with her friend
She does go uni but wants to go Freshers with her friend
OK so she wants to experience Freshers with her friend. Pretty normal. Do you go to uni with her?
No I don't to go uni. I already graduated. Like I said I have no issue with it because it comes down to trust and the 'if she's gonnna cheat she's gonna cheat regardless of me smothering her or restricting her'.

Ashamed to say other people's comments on my laid back and non controlling personality have me thinking if i'm being too laid back


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 8:23 pm 
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Ashamed to say other people's comments on my laid back and non controlling personality have me thinking if i'm being too laid back
Stop reading anything by Arch Stanton and you'll be fine.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2017 11:30 pm 
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Like I said I have no issue with it because it comes down to trust and the 'if she's gonnna cheat she's gonna cheat regardless of me smothering her or restricting her'.
Would you create this thread if you believed this?

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 12:30 am 
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Am I giving her too much freedom and is her going on freshers such a big deal. Should I really be telling her she can't go

It depends on the boundaries you've set with her, and how far along you are.

Typically, a woman will invite her boyfriend to parties with her, not exclude him.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:51 am 
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Like I said I have no issue with it because it comes down to trust and the 'if she's gonnna cheat she's gonna cheat regardless of me smothering her or restricting her'.
Would you create this thread if you believed this?
I actually do.
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Am I giving her too much freedom and is her going on freshers such a big deal. Should I really be telling her she can't go

It depends on the boundaries you've set with her, and how far along you are.

Typically, a woman will invite her boyfriend to parties with her, not exclude him.
I have work and can't go out of town for 4 days to party with uni students but yeah I do agree on what you said.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:06 am 
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I have work and can't go out of town for 4 days to party with uni students but yeah I do agree on what you said.

If it's been less than three months, you have less room to maneuver. If you haven't had "the exclusive" talk yet, even less. If you're not exclusive, you're going to have to eat it.

Guys do have different standards for their exclusive girlfriends, and what they consider "girlfriend behavior".

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:34 am 
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I have work and can't go out of town for 4 days to party with uni students but yeah I do agree on what you said.

If it's been less than three months, you have less room to maneuver. If you haven't had "the exclusive" talk yet, even less. If you're not exclusive, you're going to have to eat it.

Guys do have different standards for their exclusive girlfriends, and what they consider "girlfriend behavior".
We have had the exclusive talk and she is my girlfriend not a girl that i'm dating.

I agree different people have different standards I'm such wondering if me being ok with it is me being a bitch/ push over?


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:03 pm 
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There is no such thing as giving your girlfriend permission to go and no repercussions not result because of it . Sure, you can tell her that she can't go but she will start seeing you as insecure and/or controlling and next time something like this happens, she may make something up and go behind your back. If you stop her from having university experiences while her friends are having fun doing those things, you're just going to initiate the beginning of the end of your relationship with her.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:18 pm 
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This is part of relationships especially in college. Your gf/wife or whatever will prob want to go to vegas, spring break, a party and sometimes you wont be there. I dont know what boundaries are being crossed unless your boundaries are your gf is not allowed to drink, or go somewhere without you. Now she could be going to get drunk and fuck a random dude every night for the week but if you think she would, then why are you with her? I dont know what "gf behavior" is here...drinking? going somewhere with friends? To me, if these things arent gf behavior thats more boundaries due to a lack of trust and security. Theres a difference between drinking and getting drunk. Theres a difference between doing something with your friends, and purposefully wanting to exclude your bf so you could do things. What you being a "bitch" for is letting your friends opinion make you question yourself, if you're really a "huge believer" in trust.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:26 pm 
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There is no such thing as giving your girlfriend permission to go and no repercussions not result because of it . Sure, you can tell her that she can't go but she will start seeing you as insecure and/or controlling and next time something like this happens, she may make something up and go behind your back. If you stop her from having university experiences while her friends are having fun doing those things, you're just going to initiate the beginning of the end of your relationship with her.
Basically this.

You can have set standards and criteria for what constitutes girlfriend behaviour " and this might not be it. The decision you have to make is, is this a dealbreaker for you or something you can let slide. If you want to keep this girl you're going to have to hold your mouth over.

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