PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Girlfriend's kid hates me
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=197673		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  axornion [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:24 am ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend's kid hates me
So, I have a girlfriend with a kid, which is a bit spoiled. And the kid hates me for taking attention from his mom, so he is trying to sabotage the relationship in any way possible.
Recently he has started to insult me and to imply that I'm weak.
What can I do ? I basically have no power in the family and can't decide to punish him, and if I try to have a conversation with the mom, I might seem weak.
Author:  R.C [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Quote:
What can I do ? I basically have no power in the family and can't decide to punish him, and if I try to have a conversation with the mom, I might seem weak.
Punish him yea, then he surely won't disrespect you again.

How about trying to earn his respect? and win him over?

Kid can be your biggest ally or worst enemy. Be smart.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Many boys today do not know what it means to be a man because they don’t have a man in their lives.

He needs a positive male role model, be one.
Author:  axornion [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
So what exactly should I do ?
Author:  neo87 [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
He's calling you weak because you are weak.

First your gf should be ensuring her kid is respectful to you. She should be the one who has more to lose if he kid pushes you away. I'd love it if a woman's kid was disrespecting me and she was allowing it. Ok, take your single mom ass back to the dating pool and try again. So if your gf isn't doing that both of them don't respect you. I'm not gonna fight for the simple respect of someone else kid. The responsibility on her is to ensure her kid has respect for others.

Once that baseline respect is established.. If you want to build a good relationship with the kid be a role model as hey wood said.

Remember... You're the prize. She's the one with a spoiled rude kid. Whatever relationship you want with this kid the respect and by respect I mean no insults which should be a given is the moms responsibilty.
Author:  axornion [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
The mother can't control him, she has never had any control or influence over him. If I tell her to have a conversation, nothing will change and I will seem even weaker.
I need to do something, but it seems impossible.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Quote:
The mother can't control him, she has never had any control or influence over him. If I tell her to have a conversation, nothing will change and I will seem even weaker.
I need to do something, but it seems impossible.
How old is he? How old is SHE? WTF does she keep him on a dog run in the back yard? Is this woman broken?

Your not getting any respect, because you do not command any. Be in charge of your dignity not matter the outcome.
Author:  axornion [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
I think he wants me to try to punish him so I can be the "bad guy". He is just trying to create drama that can make his mother and me break up.
The kid is 12 by the way.
I could very well ignore it but I may seem weak to his mother.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Then he is old enough to understand words. Sit both of them down, let them both know you will not tolerate that kind of behavior, or the last thing you'll hear from you is the door slamming behind you.
Author:  neo87 [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Quote:
The mother can't control him, she has never had any control or influence over him. If I tell her to have a conversation, nothing will change and I will seem even weaker.
I need to do something, but it seems impossible.
If she can't control her kid that's her fault and issue. Why would you enter a relationship where the kid doesn't have respect nor listens to his mother? Sure... You can pull a criminal minds (the movie not the show) and turn the kid around. But entering this is that makes you seem weak. It means you lack options cause if you did you won't be with a single mom. Nor one with a kid who wouldn't listen. If I'm dating a girl and she has a dog that keeps shitting on my floor, that's her issue to fix. Her house may have shit stained carpets but why am I going to entertain a relationship where her dog is shitting on my floor as well? So now I have to have a nasty place. And why would I do that? Because I lack dating options. When she sees me dealing with it she knows I'm weak anyway because if I was strong I wouldn't deal with it.

That's the real advice but if you insist on making it work like this if I were you I'd take over. If the kid doesn't even respect her he's not going to respect a stranger. I could understand if it were a kid who listened to his mom and was just rude to you because he's afraid of his mom being pulled away. But it just sounds like a shit kid tbh.
Author:  axornion [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Honestly, I'm not going to break up with her because of this. This is exactly what the kid wants.
Please, could you give another solution ?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Quote:
Honestly, I'm not going to break up with her because of this. This is exactly what the kid wants.
Please, could you give another solution ?
Because you are a pussy.

Afraid to risk anything. Doomed to fail.
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Quote:
Honestly, I'm not going to break up with her because of this. This is exactly what the kid wants.
Please, could you give another solution ?
What about what you want? So many guys come here wanting the secret to magically changing women. You want to change a family dynamic. You're only solution is not being afraid to lose her and tell her that if she can't stop the kid from disrespecting you then you can't be in the relationship. That way you are putting your foot down, being straight up about the problem, and not taking the matter of punishing someone else's child that you shouldn't be punishing.
Author:  axornion [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Quote:
That way you are putting your foot down, being straight up about the problem, and not taking the matter of punishing someone else's child that you shouldn't be punishing.
But she can't even if she wants to. The kid pretty much ignores everyone and does what he wants all the time.
I really don't want this to be the end of the relationship...
If I ignore the insults from the kid, will I lose respect from the mother ?
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Jun 16, 2016 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend's kid hates me
Quote:
Quote:
That way you are putting your foot down, being straight up about the problem, and not taking the matter of punishing someone else's child that you shouldn't be punishing.
But she can't even if she wants to. The kid pretty much ignores everyone and does what he wants all the time.
I really don't want this to be the end of the relationship...
What a weak answer. How do you know that she can't? You didn't even try. The kid is right...you are weak.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/