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| Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do ? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=196664 |
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| Author: | theoriesof93 [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do ? |
Okay,so here goes... I had been dating this girl for quite some time, but failed to escalate (i am sooo angry with myself). My reasoning was that her body language were too closed. So i never really tried anything. But we continued with our "dates". Well... Today i asked her why she had been so quiet the last few days, and she told me she had lost interest. She really wanted to make this work, so extremely much. I was exactly the type she wanted, but she just wasn't feeling it (because i failed at KINO). She told me that she had thought to herself, that if nothing happened at our last date, this would never be a relationship. So she was really waiting for me to make the move. well... this is where i stand today. With a lot of questions, sadness and frustrations over myself. This is one of the worst mistakes i have ever made with a girl. So, is there any possibility to fix this ? She is still up for meeting me, not a date or anything, but as friends... Is there any way i can fix this at all ? Or are the feelings lost, when a woman decides this ? I know my grammar is fucking terrible today, i'm sorry ! But i am just soo fucking angry. I really liked this girl. |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Stop trying to fix that which you can't. Fix yourself, be the best version of you you can be, FOR YOU, not anyone else. The rest will all fall into place. Prob not the answer you're looking for, but the beginning of truth. |
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| Author: | theoriesof93 [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote: Stop trying to fix that which you can't.
Thank you for the answer, man. I know i need to work on myself to be ready for the next girl. I am just extremely disappointed right now. This could have been my girl if i only had done what i knew i should have done...Fix yourself, be the best version of you you can be, FOR YOU, not anyone else. The rest will all fall into place. Prob not the answer you're looking for, but the beginning of truth. My ego kind of wants to make this work. Both because this is a girl i really like, and because i really want to do this thing right. I kind of just want to ask her if there is any chance we could try one last time... |
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| Author: | R.C [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 5:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
It's done. You didn't act when it was time to act, now accept the responsibility for your actions (or lack thereof) and don't repeat this mistake again. |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 5:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote: She told me that she had thought to herself, that if nothing happened at our last date, this would never be a relationship. So she was really waiting for me to make the move. I hope a lot of you read this over and over again. So many guys put the nail in their own coffin because they make the same mistake. This is the cost of not taking the initiative.
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| Author: | groovy_boy [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote:
Well... Today i asked her why she had been so quiet the last few days, and she told me she had lost interest. She really wanted to make this work, so extremely much. I was exactly the type she wanted, but she just wasn't feeling it (because i failed at KINO).
No way to fix it. She has already stated to you that she lost her interest because you didn't make a move. So even if let's say that you somehow managed to meet again then what. Do you think that she would let you kiss her , now that you already have been told? Any move that you will do will be seen as forced. Will she respect you if you try to make a move AFTER she told you precisely that she hoped it would work but she does not feel it?She told me that she had thought to herself, that if nothing happened at our last date, this would never be a relationship. So she was really waiting for me to make the move. well... this is where i stand today. With a lot of questions, sadness and frustrations over myself. This is one of the worst mistakes i have ever made with a girl. So, is there any possibility to fix this ? She is still up for meeting me, not a date or anything, but as friends... Is there any way i can fix this at all ? Or are the feelings lost, when a woman decides this ? Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done, since she has already painted your image in her mind. Look at the positive part. You are "Exactly the type she wanted" on paper. Therefore I 'll take it that you probably have good attributes such as decent looks, education etc. If you are too much of a nice, shy guy, this is what needs to change. |
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| Author: | amunt [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
I say go for it one last time , maybe it will work . Take her in a date and go for a kiss and be direct to go for sex You have nothing to lose |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote: I say go for it one last time , maybe it will work . No. No. No.Take her in a date and go for a kiss and be direct to go for sex You have nothing to lose The best thing to do in a situation with a girl that says that she only wants to be friends is grant her that wish and then create tension while becoming unattainable. That means being able to flirt without expressing any intentions and when she flirts back become indifferent. Do not hide your desire for women but don't show her that she's one that you could desire. Don't jump at the first opportunity once she starts showing interest again...just keep building tension so when you do decide to go for it she won't want to back out. I normally don't give this advice because it feeds into oneitis and trying to fix screw ups when it's better to just find another girl. |
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| Author: | dicemaster [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 5:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Just have some balls and invite her out and kiss her! |
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| Author: | amunt [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote: Quote: I say go for it one last time , maybe it will work . No. No. No.Take her in a date and go for a kiss and be direct to go for sex You have nothing to lose The best thing to do in a situation with a girl that says that she only wants to be friends is grant her that wish and then create tension while becoming unattainable. That means being able to flirt without expressing any intentions and when she flirts back become indifferent. Do not hide your desire for women but don't show her that she's one that you could desire. Don't jump at the first opportunity once she starts showing interest again...just keep building tension so when you do decide to go for it she won't want to back out. I normally don't give this advice because it feeds into oneitis and trying to fix screw ups when it's better to just find another girl. He can build the tension in the date |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote: He can build the tension in the date Yes. This makes sense! A girl that comes out and tells you that this will never be a relationship because of the experience of dating you will now agree to going on a date. Genius...pure genius.
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote: Quote: Quote: I say go for it one last time , maybe it will work . No. No. No.Take her in a date and go for a kiss and be direct to go for sex You have nothing to lose The best thing to do in a situation with a girl that says that she only wants to be friends is grant her that wish and then create tension while becoming unattainable. That means being able to flirt without expressing any intentions and when she flirts back become indifferent. Do not hide your desire for women but don't show her that she's one that you could desire. Don't jump at the first opportunity once she starts showing interest again...just keep building tension so when you do decide to go for it she won't want to back out. I normally don't give this advice because it feeds into oneitis and trying to fix screw ups when it's better to just find another girl. He can build the tension in the date |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
OP, Please be well advised to listen to Jack. Some posters are like Stevie Wonder explaining how to drive. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Wed Apr 13, 2016 11:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Haha...today I can't believe it, but I'm closer to amunt and dice on this one. Wow If it were me, and touching/sex was what was missing, I'd invite her to my place for a movie as a friend and just be really dominant and escalate to sex. Thats just me thinking that if the truth really is the missing peice is I didnt escalate and the physical stuff, then I'd ramp that up. Thats based on the assumption that she is/was physically attracted, emotionally attracted and she was just waiting for me to make a move. Being dominant and passionate unexpectedly could be enough to turn her on and everything falls into place. Thats just my gut opinion. No date, just get to my place, build some tension and grab her and kiss. If you suck at kissing, or will read her body language for a sign to kiss her at your place, youll prob fail. Again, thats just an opinion from my gut and what I would do if in this. Jack's advice is good, I'm just more into the mentality of I'll make a move until you stop seeing me. |
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| Author: | R.C [ Wed Apr 13, 2016 12:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Is this a lost cause now, or is there anything i can do |
Quote: Haha...today I can't believe it, but I'm closer to amunt and dice on this one. Wow
He could've made a move who knows how many times before when there was no where near as much pressure. I don't think he can pull that off now.
If it were me, and touching/sex was what was missing, I'd invite her to my place for a movie as a friend and just be really dominant and escalate to sex. Thats just me thinking that if the truth really is the missing peice is I didnt escalate and the physical stuff, then I'd ramp that up. Thats based on the assumption that she is/was physically attracted, emotionally attracted and she was just waiting for me to make a move. Being dominant and passionate unexpectedly could be enough to turn her on and everything falls into place. Thats just my gut opinion. No date, just get to my place, build some tension and grab her and kiss. If you suck at kissing, or will read her body language for a sign to kiss her at your place, youll prob fail. Again, thats just an opinion from my gut and what I would do if in this. Jack's advice is good, I'm just more into the mentality of I'll make a move until you stop seeing me. |
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