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Girlfriend is acting off
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=193458		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  hoboken [ Tue Oct 20, 2015 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend is acting off
I'm dating this girl for about a month and half now.
Things were going really great until last weekend.
We had a (drunken) fight about the following;

I told her that I had a great idea to do the following day (I was actually proposing to visit her best friend that just moved). She said "Oh no, nothing with your friends right"?

That actually hurted me and so we got in a fight.
The day after (we normally spend our hangovers together in bed) she brought up the fight, we talked a little about it, had sex. Afterwards I could feel she wasnt totally present and like coming towards me and then backing up all the time (figurally and literraly), finally she said she would like it more to be alone that day.
So I gave her the space and didnt make a fuzz about it.

We saw eachother the day yesterday shortly and again (also through texting) I could feel her blocking in a way. Like coming and then pulling back, but definitely not giving the love she usually does.
Today after work we called and I told her I was doing really great.

Then later tonight we had this conversation;

She: I'm having some concerns, you think its too early for family I think its too early for friends, especially with a hangover. We need to be able to stay ourselves

Me: I can feel that something is wrong

She: But you said you felt really good?

Me: I can only let you come, If I come up to you, you run. You are switching whole the time.

She: I'm not switching, I love u
There was no reason to be mad for what I said about ur friends. I want to be able to be myself. If we get drunk, we cant fight. Maybe we should ignore eachtother than or not sleep together.

Me: I honestly dont get why you are making such a big deal out of this

She: Because I dont want to change myself. I respect everything about u.

Me: And I dont?

She; No, if I react that way about ur friends. You should feel and understand what I'm saying. Because you know its my uncertainty!

Me: Thats the thing, I would have never proposed such an idea, because I know thats very hard for you now.

She: Still, your reaction was wrong. Its like you want to make a fight

Me; I aint like that, u know that. I was just hurt by what you said

She: Pfff, not at the same level. We are both too egocentric. That causes us 2 clash.

Me: Ok if u say so, so then what, We dont match?

She: I didnt say that, just told you that I love u

Me: Sorry that I hurt u

She: Just sucks, if I think about, it doesnt feel right. Its like it has happened before that I say the wrong things. Things you take 2 personal. Or things that make u think I dont love u enough. It bothers me...

Me: Dont really now what to say...

She: We'll talk tomorrow then

Me: What do u want 2 do about it?

She: Either keep my mouth shut, or you have to understand that I dont mean nothing wrong with the things I say. But that will only work If you change the image u have of me, cause u react this way because u obviously dont understand me.

Me: What image?

She: I dont know, there is a reason u get mad about these things. I need to get to bed now. Shall I come to you tomorrow?

Me: Ok.

And then goodbyes.

So, what is going on here. I'm not really getting it.

What should I do tomorrow?

I really like her, however I've never met a girl that needs her space and time so much and I can relate to her saying that I take things to personal sometimes. In a way it has to do with uncertainty (from my part) on the other hand I do feel this girl has a lot of growing to do as in becoming the woman I really want (as do I in becoming the man I really want for myself).
Can I be honest about this to her?


Thanks!
Author:  oceanx [ Wed Oct 21, 2015 4:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend is acting off
She doesn't want you to meet her friends because she wants to be able to stay herself?

I'm not fully understanding this fight/disagreement.

In any case this doesn't seem like a very big disagreement, more of a lovers quarrel. Don't fret about it.
Author:  ColaGuy [ Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend is acting off
To me it sounds like you got super defensive and caused an argument? Sounds like that is a regular occurrence too and maybe she's getting to the point where she's had enough. You guys have been together for a month and a half, you need to be more relaxed about things and if she says something that annoys you especially if it's as small as that take it on the chin and carry on. That's not to say be a pussy and let her treat you however she wants but you just need to know when to let things go. I've been pretty similar and I generally have different expectations from most girls as to how a relationship should work, which can lead to things getting to me fairly often but I've learnt how to pick my battles. At the end of the day she is with you so she at the very least cares about you so her every action isn't against you.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Wed Oct 21, 2015 2:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend is acting off
Like I tell everyone in the relationships sub-forum... don't game your girlfriend.

A pickup forum may not be the best place to get advice on something like this. The solution is simple: communicate (which appears to be sort of what you're trying to do, but your english is not great and I'm having some difficulties understanding some of the stuff you wrote here).

The dialogue between you two: Was it over text or in person? You should be having these discussions in person. Text is awful for arguing.

At any rate, this fight seems small to me, and I think it'll blow over if you just let it blow over...

If her desire not to meet your friends (or whatever the problem is... I can't really tell) is THAT big of an issue for you, you need to make a decision: Give her some time to come around, or let her go.
Author:  R.C [ Thu Oct 22, 2015 7:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girlfriend is acting off
Personally I'm not a very big fan of mixing social groups, especially one month in.
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