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| Long Distance Reltionships https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=185160 |
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| Author: | Winchester [ Sat Nov 01, 2014 7:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Long Distance Reltionships |
Hey guys, its been a while since I posted here, I've been in a relationship for 6 months now, long distance for 3 - I'm not sure what questions I'm asking I just want to write it down. I'm 25 living in the UK, she's 26 and lives in Austria. We met because I worked over there for 6 months and we dated for the last 2. I'd been single for a long time before that, except for my first 2 months of living in Austria. I tried to date the a girl who turned out to be a bit crazy, but I felt I was ready for a relationship should the right girl come a long. An awesome girl came a long and we had a great 2 months together, we met each others families and went on holiday together along with her bro and his GF. Then I travelled for 2 months in Asia, I remained loyal as I loved this girl, and although yeah I was a little tempted and had opportunities too - I remained faithful. Note: I asked her for the relationship before I left for Asia, it something I really wanted to try and I knew it would be hard and a lot of effort but I did think she was worth it - I told her all of this. Since I've been back for maybe 2 months, we have seen each other 3 times, around 12 days in total both at her place and mine. But I've found LDR to be much harder than I thought, I also just choose to leave my phd studies to get go into business, so, although I have savings, I'm effectively unemployed now. The main problems are, - I find it hard to be completely honest with her about what's going on with my life, I feel a little insecure and embarrassed about my life change. - The intimacy seems to have life the relationship somewhat, or at least takes a while to build up to, since we don't see each other for weeks at a time, and then it can just be 2-5 days of hanging out. - Although we have good sex when we are together, its not very often, for instance twice over 4 days this last visit. Every other day would be fine if it was a normal relationship, but shouldn't we be wanting to tear each others clothes off? - Although the sex is just good, it's not great like I've had in he past, and I don't see it changing. I have told her want I like and she won't do much of it, its not particularly crazy and there are reasons why which I understand but still, it's a problem. - I may be moving to the US for a job which I think will kill the relationship - I haven't told her about this yet. I guess I don't see this panning out how I had originally hoped, there is a possibility of her moving to the UK next year if things are good, which is why I'm not just saying I should give up now. I also think I have shit to work on in my life on my own, and that the LDR is a good thing for that as it gives me time and flexibility to achieve goals I want to work towards. - My first priority is to remain busy and be productive with my life. So in summary, I love this girl, she's awesome and when we were in the same city things were great. - but now we are not, and things are not great. Any comments on anything would be welcome, how to better manage the situation and try to improve the relationship or ways to more effectively use the time we have when we are together - I just wanted to write this down as its been making me anxious. Thanks for reading. |
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| Author: | KurtCobain [ Sat Nov 08, 2014 10:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long Distance Reltionships |
In my opinion, a long distance relationship only works if one of the following conditions are met. Which is that you have a plan to stay together in the future (or are making one). Or if you see each other regularly. The thing is, when you do see her, you have to accept you've taken a bit of a backwards step with the distance. It's nothing bad, but accept it. So instead of picking up the relationship where it left off, you almost have to go to step one all over again. As in game her like you did when you first met her. It's all about making her come to you, and it should be her worried about making the relationship better. Also, don't contact her too much when you are apart. Let her contact you and don't give too much when you do make contact. You want her to feel being apart makes the relationship worse, because that way it means being together makes the relationship better. If you are just as attentive apart than you are together, then for her, there is no need for you to be together, since she is getting all she wants when you are apart. Girls love attention. So only give it to her when you are together. I hope that makes sense. |
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