Thanks m8.
I guess I ask here because I needed to get it confirmed that this could indeed be a normal reaction from a girl, no matter how much in love she is.
I cant see any other methods that would help me either.
So... Wait, wait, wait
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| Author: | MikeDavids [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | What to do? |
Hello. And thanks for a great forum. Ive been reading a lot here for the last 4 years, and it has helped me pick up girls. Now I have finally found the right girl for me. But I need advicee now. I will try and keep this short: Background We have know eachother, and been romatic for 8 months. 3 months ago it became officially. We live about an hours drive apart for now. She had a good job (leadership, with only a few employees) She was crazy in love, no doubt about it. When we were together for like a weekend, and I went home, I recieved texts about how I was the man of her dreams. The story now: She quit her job. This was the plan, because she wanted to start school again. She also took a part-time job at a local grocery store. She was very nervous to starts because she was affraid she couldn´t keep up. (School stuff is not her strong side) Only 3 days after she startet her new job and school she changed. No more texts with "i love you" or anything. Only very short text like "Hey you, can you please check this". I knew something was up, so I went to visit her. She told me she was a "mess inside" and her feelings had changed for me, but she didn´t know what it meant? She was scared, I could feel her shaking. She couldn´t tell me anything about what it meant and why, or what she wanted to do now. What to do now? I think I should give her some space...? Her entire world has changed to much in one week, so she cant keep up. She is streesed out. 100´s of new people in her life. I have tried to text her, but only get very short replies, like "thx, you too" |
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| Author: | CharlesFinley [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
That could be anything, man... Sounds like stress to me. People deal with stress in different ways - and I have dated a girl like that before... You'd swear she was cheating or that there was another guy if you didn't know better... but there wasn't. For a sudden 'shift' in feelings like that, you have to at least consider there's another guy in the picture... but I wouldn't accuse her or anything (that'll only make shit worse if there isn't). Give her some space. She'll come back to you if she loves you as much as you say she does. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 2:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Could be stress and she's freaking out, could be another guy, could be she genuinely lost some feelings. I feel like you've left out details. |
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| Author: | MikeDavids [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 5:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Thanks a lot for your replies. I understand why you say it feels like I´ve left some things out. I feel the same way. But no... This is the entire story. (That is why I am so confused) Ive been replaying the last 2 weeks in my head to see if there was a sign I missed. Something that indicated she was unhappy in the relationship, but could not find anything. This was basicly frem one week to another. I even spotted it in her texts from day to day. I am very sure that there is not another guy. But this came so suddenly that I had to ask her. She said "I knew you would ask that, but no. There is no one else". I was the one who said that she should have some time by herself to figure out what she wanted. I am pretty sure this is temporary, and just caused by all the stress and life changes. My idea is to lay low for a few weeks. Maybe shoot her a text once or twice a week with something random like: Hope you had a nice day, how is work ect? You know: radom talk.... |
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| Author: | CharlesFinley [ Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Not much else you can do then. Give her some space and make sure she knows you're around if she wants to talk or grab a drink. |
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| Author: | MikeDavids [ Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Thanks m8. I guess I ask here because I needed to get it confirmed that this could indeed be a normal reaction from a girl, no matter how much in love she is. I cant see any other methods that would help me either. So... Wait, wait, wait
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| Author: | MikeDavids [ Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Could this maybe be some sort of shittest?? Would really love to get some more peoples opinion on this one, as I am going out of my mind with this waiting... |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Why did it take 5 months for you to make her your gf? |
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| Author: | Candle_Guy [ Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Sounds like she has just completely imploded due to stress. Best thing to do is send her a text/call her and say. I am here for you whenever you need me or you need to talk, but I am going to give you the space you need. Don't be a stranger I love you. Up to you how you word it, but words to that effect. and then leave her, let her come to you if she needs to, but don't stop YOUR life, YOU have done nothing wrong, and if you are meant to be together, it will happen. Hope it goes well. CG |
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| Author: | MikeDavids [ Sat Aug 23, 2014 7:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Quote: Why did it take 5 months for you to make her your gf?
Dont know really. We acted lig Girlfriend/boyfriend from day one. We didn´t hide it or anything.After 2 months we already know each others parents. After 5 months we thourght we´d make it officially. So 3 months offiially, but if someone asks us how long we´ve been together the answer from both of us will be 7 months.  Quote: Sounds like she has just completely imploded due to stress.
Thanks m8.Best thing to do is send her a text/call her and say. I am here for you whenever you need me or you need to talk, but I am going to give you the space you need. Don't be a stranger I love you. Up to you how you word it, but words to that effect. and then leave her, let her come to you if she needs to, but don't stop YOUR life, YOU have done nothing wrong, and if you are meant to be together, it will happen. Hope it goes well. CG It is messages like these that calms me down and tells me I am on the right strategy. She seems happy on Instagram and Face. But ofcause: Those are public forums where she needs to show the cool face to all her new friends/classmates. |
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| Author: | MikeDavids [ Sun Aug 24, 2014 1:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
I appreciate anyone's opinions on what I should do here... Texted her before the weekend with a random "have a nice weekend, thinking of you". Didn't get a reply. (Dont really know what kind of reply I was expecting) |
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| Author: | n2thevoid [ Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
Tight spot to be in. I'd give her space, but more importantly give the space to yourself. You really use this time to reflect and to learn how to sit with uncertainty its a good thing really. Do things to help you connect to yourself, and shift focus from her (what she may or may not be doing) to you. |
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| Author: | JuanAntonioB [ Tue Aug 26, 2014 3:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
It's obvious she's not getting hit with the same emotions as initially, when she sees your texts, when she hears from you, when she thinks of you, when she sees you etc., she probably feels nothing, or worse, feels disgust or repulse by it. this is all too common after 6-12 months in any relationship. it gets B O R I N G my advice is simple, cut her loose. meaning, stop texting, stop reaching out. you keep sending her these texts and the one youre going to get back is "hey sorry, ive just realized i no longer have feelings for you, and i think its best we take a break." or something of that nature |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Tue Aug 26, 2014 4:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
I'd say move on at this point. Stress is one thing but she's not treating you right. Ask yourself, even if she comes back 100 percent better today, do you want to go through being ignored and in limbo again? Walk away |
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| Author: | Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Aug 26, 2014 5:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What to do? |
I would definitely minimum soft next, if not straight up dump this girl. She is trying to gain power over you in the relationship. The stress excuse is bullshit. Strongly suspect there is another dude in the picture, her reply of "I knew you would ask me that" almost seems too prepared. You can't say she's not cheating, you are not with her 24/7, so it is a possibility based on her cold behaviour, especially if she is usually really nice to you. As soon as this girl knows you won't put up with her bullshit and knows you are out chatting up other girls, her interest level will either go right back up or she will use it as an excuse to dump you. Either scenario is good for you. The first one puts you back on track on YOUR terms and the 2nd will save you heartache in the long run and will help you find a hotter girl who treats you better. My guess is you were AFC in the relationship, you showed weakness and neediness and her pussy dried up. It's clear from the way you describe her as "The One" that you are not thinking logically. Why do you want to be with a girl who is selfish and treats you badly? Are you a masochist? |
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