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My recent ex is now out of the closet.
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Author:  drumbum081 [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:32 am ]
Post subject:  My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Hi all,

Last year I fell in love with this girl. Hard. I thought for sure she was the one. Eventually we started seeing each other and this turned into a fantastic relationship. Near the end she would disappear for days at a time. I eventually had to call it off.

Fast forward three months when I ran into her at the club. I suggested we catch up over a drink or coffee. I was surprised by how eager she seemed. Actually a day before we were supposed to meet up she suggested hot yoga. I initially had no plans of getting back with her, but the fact that she suggested hot yoga over drinks definitely made me eager to hear what she had to say. As a result I let myself get my hopes up that perhaps she was reconsidering her actions that caused us to break up. A day before the meet up she sent me a text saying "Just so you know, I now have a girlfriend. I just wanted us to be on the same page." This actually explains all of the problems we had in the relationship. But let me tell you, my ego is hurting. Why was a lesbian attracted to me? Was I so bad that she converted to women?? Not to mention that my second out of four girlfriends was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder midway through the relationship. On top of that the girl I'm currently sleeping with just told me her biological mother repeatedly rented her to the Hell's Angels for sex in exchange for drugs.

It appears that I only attract damaged, mentally ill women, or lesbians in denial. I feel so shitty and full of self doubt right now. Was there something about me that attracted a lesbian? I don't know how to process this in anyway, shape or form.

Thanks for any help or suggestions.
Author:  AnthonyZ [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Tell me,

with what people do you hang around ? Where do you come from, and what kind of woman is your mother.
Author:  drumbum081 [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Quote:
Tell me,

with what people do you hang around ? Where do you come from, and what kind of woman is your mother.
Thanks for the reply! I am a musician by trade. The arts industry attracts a lot of very eccentric and often emotionally damaged people. I am trying to break into other kinds of social circles, however, I have always hung out exclusively in "artist" communities. I was happy with that until recently (when this relationship came to an end). Believe it or not my mother is a very successful principle in the largest high school in our city. She is very heavy handed and a dominant personality. My dad on the other hand...not so much. I have tried to learn most of my personality traits from my mom's side. However, I do sometimes wonder if the lack of a strong male influence in my life affected things.
Author:  AnthonyZ [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 3:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Quote:
Quote:
Tell me,

with what people do you hang around ? Where do you come from, and what kind of woman is your mother.
Thanks for the reply! I am a musician by trade. The arts industry attracts a lot of very eccentric and often emotionally damaged people. I am trying to break into other kinds of social circles, however, I have always hung out exclusively in "artist" communities. I was happy with that until recently (when this relationship came to an end). Believe it or not my mother is a very successful principle in the largest high school in our city. She is very heavy handed and a dominant personality. My dad on the other hand...not so much. I have tried to learn most of my personality traits from my mom's side. However, I do sometimes wonder if the lack of a strong male influence in my life affected things.
It's possibly the people you hang around with, you become who you hang around with, and you attract who you become. A mother her personality could influence it aswell. Since your mother is successful, and a strong woman. It might be that there is this attraction of the opposite rooted deeply in the back of your mind. Alot of people who come to me, asking for advice. Realise that this is the problem. I don't know how strongly you want this, or if it is even possible, but try to avoid negative people. Bring strong minded, successful, and positive people in your life. And there will be a 95% chance you'll find a good woman. I hope this is useful to you!
Author:  Bonheur1 [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 7:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
"Why was a lesbian attracted to me?"
Maybe she was dating men to understand herself better, before finalizing that she love women.

"Was I so bad that she converted to women??"
I don't think it's you, it's really just her. Girls gets attracted to girls naturally, it should be a natural process and not be used as in a state of rebound.

Source: being a lesbian and having speak to many women.
Author:  osyn [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 7:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Fellow LGBTQ female here.

First off, COOL DOWN. Did she say, out and out, that she was a lesbian? If not, she might just be bisexual, or if she's into nonbinary genders as well (like I am), she may be pansexual. Do not for a minute think that her sexual orientation is an affront to you, or your fault. She may have been exploring her sexuality options while dating you, and there's nothing wrong that you did. You can't choose what gender you lust over, trust me on that. (Otherwise, I would have been a straight up 100% female-only lesbian from day one.)

Next, I feel you on the artist/writer/eccentric crowd. I'm pretty sure I'm crazy as catshit to most people, and yet I often find myself being the most normal and well-adjusted in the room despite seeing horrible shit in my days. My advice is to stay away from people who are that maladjusted and broken, because even as friends, they'll drag you down.
Author:  kasabi [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 7:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Quote:
I have tried to learn most of my personality traits from my mom's side. However, I do sometimes wonder if the lack of a strong male influence in my life affected things.
Nice try but you've heard the term, "What has been seen, cannot be unseen."

You've grown up seeing a woman run the show and the man bending over and taking it. Read your initial post carefully. There are thousands of different ways to explain your situation and you chose an interesting way. . ."What's wrong with me?"

Now. . . the problem with ^this attitude is that it's a fucking magnet to assholes who want to blame everything on YOU. Sure, they might not say it directly. . . but they'll infer it. They'll want to shift the weight of responsibility to your shoulder, knowing that you will bend over and take it. They'll even say, "Ohh. . . this has nothing to do with you. . . " But inside, they'll feel a sick endorphin rush for the whole gig. It's two well fitting puzzles meeting together.

If you've had a string of girlfriends, you have no problems getting chicks. Hey, how about laying off a bit? Let the lez chick celebrate the out of the closet party on her own. Let the Hell's angels under aged hooker find her own therapist. How about just enjoying the single life? Work on your professional life. . . how about going out and picking out some hot tail to bang for a one nighter? How about running your own fucking show? Do this for a few months or years. . . Figure some shit out.
Author:  Midget [ Fri Jan 31, 2014 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Dude. Honestly, get this out of your head space. It's only adding more to your insecurities. What you should really do, is to just fuck it. Move on. You're obviously thinking too much. If a girl says she's a lesbian, fuck it. Move on. You shouldn't be thinking, "Oh what's wrong with me? Why am I attracting lesbians? Why am I attracting insecure and weak women?"

Probably because you made them your targets in the first place? This shouldn't ever bother you at all. Just move on with your life and start picking other women to make yourself feel better or neutralise the situation.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Jan 31, 2014 5:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Quote:
how about laying off a bit? Let the lez chick celebrate the out of the closet party on her own. Let the Hell's angels under aged hooker find her own therapist. How about just enjoying the single life? Work on your professional life. . . how about going out and picking out some hot tail to bang for a one nighter? How about running your own fucking show? Do this for a few months or years. . . Figure some shit out.
This
Quote:
Dude. Honestly, get this out of your head space. It's only adding more to your insecurities. What you should really do, is to just fuck it. Move on. You're obviously thinking too much. If a girl says she's a lesbian, fuck it. Move on. You shouldn't be thinking, "Oh what's wrong with me? Why am I attracting lesbians? Why am I attracting insecure and weak women?"

Probably because you made them your targets in the first place? This shouldn't ever bother you at all. Just move on with your life and start picking other women to make yourself feel better or neutralise the situation.

And This,


But......


Am I the only one that was thinking, "Okay my dear Ex-turned-lesbo, I'm cool bring your girl with you, we'll have drinks at my place after!"

And then bang both of them?

My dick has never once asked a woman, what HER sexual preference was, what position she likes best, what she had for dinner last night.

I don't give a fuck if they want to leave because they turned gay, joined a coven, want to bang the pizza kid, what the fuck ever...So I just tell her to pick her fanny up and fuck off and not to trip over a nipple on her way out....

There's plenty!
Author:  drumbum081 [ Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Thanks for all your personal wisdoms! There was definitely some really great new directions of thought for me to use.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun Feb 02, 2014 10:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Tell me,

with what people do you hang around ? Where do you come from, and what kind of woman is your mother.
Thanks for the reply! I am a musician by trade. The arts industry attracts a lot of very eccentric and often emotionally damaged people. I am trying to break into other kinds of social circles, however, I have always hung out exclusively in "artist" communities. I was happy with that until recently (when this relationship came to an end). Believe it or not my mother is a very successful principle in the largest high school in our city. She is very heavy handed and a dominant personality. My dad on the other hand...not so much. I have tried to learn most of my personality traits from my mom's side. However, I do sometimes wonder if the lack of a strong male influence in my life affected things.
It's possibly the people you hang around with, you become who you hang around with, and you attract who you become. A mother her personality could influence it aswell. Since your mother is successful, and a strong woman. It might be that there is this attraction of the opposite rooted deeply in the back of your mind. Alot of people who come to me, asking for advice. Realise that this is the problem. I don't know how strongly you want this, or if it is even possible, but try to avoid negative people. Bring strong minded, successful, and positive people in your life. And there will be a 95% chance you'll find a good woman. I hope this is useful to you!
Good god I hope to god you aren't a registered clinical therapist. Your advice is so leading and borderline absurd.
Author:  Midget [ Sun Feb 02, 2014 12:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Thanks for the reply! I am a musician by trade. The arts industry attracts a lot of very eccentric and often emotionally damaged people. I am trying to break into other kinds of social circles, however, I have always hung out exclusively in "artist" communities. I was happy with that until recently (when this relationship came to an end). Believe it or not my mother is a very successful principle in the largest high school in our city. She is very heavy handed and a dominant personality. My dad on the other hand...not so much. I have tried to learn most of my personality traits from my mom's side. However, I do sometimes wonder if the lack of a strong male influence in my life affected things.
It's possibly the people you hang around with, you become who you hang around with, and you attract who you become. A mother her personality could influence it aswell. Since your mother is successful, and a strong woman. It might be that there is this attraction of the opposite rooted deeply in the back of your mind. Alot of people who come to me, asking for advice. Realise that this is the problem. I don't know how strongly you want this, or if it is even possible, but try to avoid negative people. Bring strong minded, successful, and positive people in your life. And there will be a 95% chance you'll find a good woman. I hope this is useful to you!
Good god I hope to god you aren't a registered clinical therapist. Your advice is so leading and borderline absurd.
Oi! You made me spill my tea!
Author:  keithwf [ Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
I just wanted you to know that I can sympathize with you. My ex-wife, after 24 years of marriage, decided she was a homosexual. It was devastating. When I met her, way back when, she was getting out of that lifestyle. I , despite warnings from several people, took her word that she wanted out of the gay lifestyle because it "leads to nowhere." I believed her and, honestly, she gave me a wonderful 20 years and two beautiful children. However, I guess, it may be like some said, once gay, always gay. I am not sure, but it is not fun. Hang in there, and like me, I am sure, you will find someone who makes you very happy. Good luck and bless you! I hope this post isn't ban material. It's my first one, so I don't know. :-)
Author:  Digital_Spy [ Sat Feb 08, 2014 2:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
You turned them gay and gave them personality disorders by the sound of it. In all seriousness though some women and men like to experiment to find out who and what they are and she decided she preferred women. You need to get over yourself dude. The industry you're in has all kinds of over the top people in them and they like to give everything a go. Why not choose girls who aren't in the music industry for a change. There's plenty of them out there.
Author:  nuttybuddygame [ Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My recent ex is now out of the closet.
All girls are lesbian- especially my ex- she tried to be the man
In the relationship..
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