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what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatable
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Author:  Anon191919 [ Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatable
If you date a girl, and you break up with her, and she has a one night stand, does it matter in the big picture?

We still have very strong emotions towards each other but needless to say shit went down.
My thinking is all jumbled up because I still really like her. She still likes me. If I got broken up with I would have done the same thing most likely, but I would like to hear opinions because I'm not thinking straight. If two people like each other, should something like this prevent them from being together still?
Author:  Rough Operator [ Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatabl
That's entirely down to you and her, if you can deal with the fact that she slept with another man whilst you guys were no longer together, then it should be ok. She's done nothing wrong, you weren't with her and she had sex with another guy, it's generally best to not ask and to not know if you're thinking of getting back with her.
Author:  Anon191919 [ Mon Oct 28, 2013 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatabl
Playing devils advocate, Ignorance is bliss, but knowledge is power. You want to know the character, morals, and mindset of the person. Its a matter of knowing them. But then again, people make mistakes, but where is the line between making a mistake and being easy, desperate, weak, and slutty?
Author:  Rough Operator [ Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatabl
What happened with you guys? What was the reason for breaking up? How old are you both?

Young women can be emotionally vulnerable after a break up and get into ONS or rebound flings. Doesn't necessarily make her desperate, weak and slutty. We've all done stupid things after a break up.
Author:  havegunwilltravel [ Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatabl
I had a similar situation. Dated two years in college first real love. Broke up for a month, we meet up and have sex and she told me she didn't have sex with anyone else and never again planned on sleeping with anyone other than me. I feel back in love, months later we got super drunk and she admitted to sleeping with a past boyfriend on the break. I was crushed, but thought I put it behind me after a while. I never really did, if you get back with her make sure its for the right reasons and not because your lonely. Treat it as a new relationship and try not to dwell on what has already happened.
Author:  Danzella [ Mon Nov 04, 2013 12:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatabl
Oh man, I'm literally in this exact situation right now.

Me and my ex girlfriend broke up months ago but remained very close and sortof turned into fuck buddies. It was almost like we were still together but without the commitments and labels.

Anyway, she slept with someone she works with last week, I couldn't handle it and well, we're no longer talking. I did the stupid thing and asked her about it, intimate, detailed questions which she answered them all. Ignorance really is bliss, knowing made it so much harder.

If you think you can handle it, wait a few weeks before making a decision because chances are it might not really have hit you yet.
Author:  R.C [ Mon Nov 04, 2013 8:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatabl
@OP:

Depends on you.It's not a big deal to me. Mainly because:
Quote:
if you brake up with her , and she has a ONS
When you make the decision of braking up you automatically assume all the consequences. One of those consequences states that she can now do whatever the fuck she wants to do.


Anyway,If you think you can deal with that shit and not let it ruin your relationship , you're good.
Dealing with it means you are to under no circumstance ever bring this subject back to life.No exception.
If not , you're done.


Like I said , she was single at that time , so it should be of no concern to you. Much like it shouldn't be any concern of yours what a new girl you just met did last weekend.

@Danzella

I said this some many times around here it's becoming a habbit:

If for whatever reason you decide it's best for you to get back with your ex , never talk to her about what either of you have done while you were apart.


Also the really stupid thing you did wasn't asking her about it , it was turning her into a FB.
Do you know at least 1 person for which that has ever ended well ?
Author:  jcsport46 [ Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: what matters in a relationship and what doesnt. debatabl
Like the others I am in the same situation with my x. We broke up for 9 months, she did her thing and I did mine. I probably banged about 10 different chicks while we were broke up, whereas she only had sex with one other guy. I have my reasons to believe this and she was completely honest when asked. That is after I went through her phone without her knowing. I found out the whole situation, what he looked like, where they met. Kept digging wanting to know more but it doesn't change anything that happened and only makes it worse.

We are now dating again but I got to say my head was pretty messed up when I found out she had sex with another guy. Even though I was out banging all kinds of chicks she was able to forgive me. Were you hooking up with other girls during the break? It's a mind game that you got to beat if you want to stay with her. Or else it will beat you.

What helps me is to know that she's not with those other guys and she practically begged to come back to me. It helped to find out through her text that the punk dude she slept with had some limp issues also.
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