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Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
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Author:  hero999 [ Fri Jul 26, 2013 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
Background

I'm 21 been in a relationship with a great and loyal gf for 3.5 years. It has only been in the last 6 months that I have started to doubt the long term commitment for this girl. I feel that her standards have slipped - she doesn't do the hobbies she used to love and she stopped playing sport and she can at times be jealous (I have found her snooping on my facebook / phone). I admire ambitious and driven girls and she is just fulfilling that anymore. She's a fantastic gf in the sense that she is loyal, kind and caring. I just don't feel that spark anymore which is a great shame. I am working in London this summer which is a 6 hours away from where she stays and I have just realised how many hot girls are out there!

Recently

The reason I ask myself now is that the other night I was out with a friend and got chatting to this smoking HB lawyer. Throughout my time with a gf I have kept reading and studying PUA as it is so valuable and I would say I have a naturally flirtatious personality. After a few drinks with this girl who is 11 years older than me…. I gamed her good and she came on to me. For the first time in my life I didn’t resist and kissed her. Soon after - I made my excuses and left but we exchanged numbers.

After thinking about it I didn't feel that bad and I guess this is the point I ask you guys what you think? I just don't think I have the balls to break it off with her. She would be distraught and it would kill me to see that.
Author:  Anon22 [ Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
Sounds like your relationship is going south.
As tough as it is, what i would do is sit your girlfriend down and explain your worries. You never know, she might feel the same but be equally as worried to bring it up.
I would keep the kiss to yourself, as it sounds like you will end it with this girl anyway, so save her the heartache.
I was in a similar situation when i was 16 through to 19, things just get stale and its a bit of a young age for anything to last.
I cheated too but i went all the way. I then broke it off with my gf. It was tough, i remember going out for dinner with another girl and my then ex rang me about 25 times within 10 minutes.
Time heals, she will get over it.
Author:  Playboi_ [ Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
This topic really grabbed me because...it was me. I am 22, was with a girl for 4 years and even lived together for 2 years at the end of college. Loved this girl, still do but I realized my feelings weren't so much fading as they were wondering. She was a big part of my life but I knew if I stayed like that and kept the relationship going, I'd be unhappy. I was too much of a pussy at that point to strictly break it off and kind of twisted her into spacing it out. It is what I wanted and I have no regrets up to this point.

That was a few months ago. I have gotten head from her since then but some weeks ago and then no contact. There are so many girls and you are young brother. Take it from a guy who is literally in the same boat. Be rid of her.
Author:  krular [ Fri Jul 26, 2013 1:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
sounds like you might need to take a break from each other for the summer. And then see where you are after.
Author:  S.e.e.d [ Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
Have you heard of grass is greener on the other side syndrome in regards to relationships?

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breakin ... r-syndrome

I agree with Krular, take a break. Everyone has flaws, you need to put them into perspective. However you are 21, so it is only natural for you to want some variance. Weigh out the pro's and cons. But if you decide to end things, I say whatever you do, don't rush into another relationship. I'm also 21, and believe me, iv been single for only a couple of months now, and i'm having the time of my life. But that's not to say i wasn't happy in my relationship. We tend to want the things we don't currently have, we are naturally curious in nature i suppose.

Good luck!
Author:  Semimembranosus [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
haha, that sounds crazy.
but are you actually expecting guys to tell you what to do? that would be even crazier.
she will get hurt regardless if you go solo now or later. 3.5 years, that's like wife. you guys are crazy. what are you doing in pua if you are in relationship. i do not think that pus and relationships mix. you either go pua or you go marry.
Author:  krular [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
Quote:
haha, that sounds crazy.
but are you actually expecting guys to tell you what to do? that would be even crazier.
she will get hurt regardless if you go solo now or later. 3.5 years, that's like wife. you guys are crazy. what are you doing in pua if you are in relationship. i do not think that pus and relationships mix. you either go pua or you go marry.
did you read the book "The Game - Neil Strauss"? Cause obviously you missed one of the biggest messages that was in the book.
Author:  Semimembranosus [ Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
Quote:
did you read the book "The Game - Neil Strauss"? Cause obviously you missed one of the biggest messages that was in the book.
did you read the book "The Game - Neil Strauss"? Cause obviously you missed one of the biggest messages that was in the book.

which one?

and yes i did read it.

women have mind of their own. neil didn't actually nailed it to it's core. women want to give birth to children and grow them up. and relationship is a sure way to get married as soon as possible. which means no other women. and if there is no other women then there is no pua.
Being married doesn't make you an alpha, it makes a husband. duno why guys don't get that.

besides take in account that i never married anyone and you were married. so two different worlds.
i am probably in the wrong section anyway.
Author:  krular [ Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
PUA isnt just about picking up women. Its also about making yourself a better person. You can continue to make yourself a better person, to better your relationship.
Author:  Semimembranosus [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 3:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
i hear what you are saying. its more complex than that. what if you meet a serial killer in this community, down the drain your personal development. pua is a mixed bag of people, everyone is here. there are some fucked up people in pua.
otherwise everyone has their own goals.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
While it is true, pick up is not JUST about, meeting and fucking new women, it also IS about that.

You must ask yourself; Why did I become interested in pick up?

I doubt it was initially to better your personal well being, or your current relationship.

You want to fuck new and more women.

There is no point in sugar coating, justifying, or rationalizing.

But you already HAVE good, steady pussy! Who in their right mind wants to give that up?

Your no longer completely satisfied with that pussy, but it is pussy, and it's usually available?

Now it's like a boat anchor, you can't move forward, because your too chicken shit to cut the chain.

If you cut the chain, the default pussy sinks to the bottom....gone.

Your next best option? Well duh! CHEAT! Simple right?

Sure, but that's like putting a band-aid on an amputation.

You cannot effectively move forward, without risk, nor by cheating.

What do YOU as a Man think you should do?
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
Wait.... you're 6 hours away from each other and you are freaking out because you KISSED another girl and got her phone number?
Author:  Zapend [ Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Cheated on my girlfriend of 3.5 years. Help
It is hard to hurt a woman who loves you... so ask yourself: can I be with this woman for the rest of my life? (To me at least, that is the question you are implying).

If the answer is "possibly, yes," then see if you can reduce your ego a bit and love her for the long-run. It always feels good to fuck new women -- but ultimately, it is about recognizing value.

If the answer is "God, no," then it will be easier on HER for you to break her heart now than later, you must realize that. So do the right thing.
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