Need some help with this one. We've been through a lot, my last post on the subject did help. Time for another one.

Quick history, my last post cemented that my wife is not everything I want. She is some of what I want, but not all of it. I settled. It hasn't been enjoyable for either of us because of that. We've both gone back and forth between wanting out, wanting in, to work on it, etc. Here is where I am at now, and the question I face:

I've told my wife what it is I want. I've done my homework, she knows my love languages, knows my personality, knows what I want/need to feel like I want to feel. In a nutshell, sexually, I am a fan. She's a great mom to the kids, sweet girl. A good one. That's the good, that I like. What she isn't is strong, powerful, my equal. After doing my personality homework, it's common that guys like me desire an equal. My wife is very passive, reserved, S type personality. Introverted, low self esteem. That I don't like. She is not quick witted, not strong enough to stand up and give me healthy debate, and that is not attractive to me. I win every argument or conversation and lead the entire relationship. That's great when I take us in a good direction, when good decisions are made, I own the responsibility and reward. When I make a bad decision or mistake, I own the misery, no one to share the success or failure with who truly understands the reasoning behind the decisions.

We are separated, have been for 5 months. She now says she wants me to help her become more confident, strong, my equal. We have kids, and a lot of life invested. I'm not fully over the idea of my marriage ending, but I'm far enough along that it doesn't scare me anymore, and I don't feel real close to her anymore. Little animosity, but little preference as well. I'm guarded about reengaging and "helping" her change. Looking for thoughts on whether this is a good idea or not and why.