PUA Forum :: Do you guys keep girls around?

Don't sweat it mate. She is just being polite. If a guy has just invited her for something, but hasn't made it explicit that it is a date, than for her to say "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" would be a bit of a stretch - because in her mind, she is thinking that the guy would then be weird about it. I suspect if she was getting guys saying "let me take you on a romantic date" then she'd say that she was taken.

Don't sweat it, that's a completely normal way for a hot chick to approach it.

to teach his fucking girl a lesson?

Why all the Beta-male responses of rationalizing why his GF accepts dates and flakes.

Quote:

I try not to, but I know she knows the intention of the guys when asking her out to a club. But I guess you're right, I was probably not used to dating a hot girl. My previous girlfriend had no contact with anyone. No MSN, no Facebook, she never went out, no one hit on her, and if they did she instantly rejected them.
I´ll try to remain cool, although one thing I still don´t understand is why she tells me stuff different from what actually happened. For example, she would tell me ¨X guy invited me saturday, and I told him I couldnt go, when in reality the chat went something like:

Guy: Hey whats up for saturday, we´re going to X club if you wanna come.
Her: Saturday? I dont have anything planned, we´ll see what happens with my car.
Guy: Ok, let me know.
Her: Sure
Guy:OK

Maybe in her head its the same, telling him she couldnt than telling him that, any way, saturday night she will be with me.
Could it all be to avoid a worthless fight?

as a PUA, you should be familiar with word "flake". you should know that a lot of girls will agree to a meet-up. and then flake. even repeatedly. and that many of them had no intention to meet you in the first place. even when they agree to a specific time&place.

your GF is probably used to this form of vagueness (yeah, maybe, let's see, depends on X, probably, ...) as a form of courtesy to avoid being blunt "no I have a BF fucking get lost you creep". girls hate that. as guys, we are more able to deliver blunt rejections. girls are much less good at it. they will only do it if you're really a creep or you get annoying.

other than that, anything less than she-shows-up-at-the-club should not be taken at face value.

Why isn't anyone of the repliers advocating that Decessum should be a fucking a man and start flirting with other women also and accepting fates to teach his fucking girl a lesson?

Why all the Beta-male responses of rationalizing why his GF accepts dates and flakes.

Be a fucking man Decessum(the original poster)! Start accepting dates and game other girls.

If you'd of shown more balls and dumped her a few months ago when me and a few others were saying dump her then you would probably be back with her now but she wouldn't be 'flaking' on these guys she would be saying 'sorry i have a bf'

Now she knows she can say whatever she wants to whoever she wants and you wont do shit about it

Author:	Decessum [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 7:00 am ]
Post subject:	Do you guys keep girls around?
Let me rephrase; While in a relationship: Do you keep flirting with girls, accepting invites, asking them out, keeping attraction up? Maybe this is normal for everyone, but I just can´t do it, and I see my GF does it. She accepts invites from guys, never shows up, but accepts them, a guy asks her out every single weekend, and every weekend she says she can´t, and he keeps insisting. On the other hand, I get asked out and say no, or maybe I make up an excuse to not say ¨No¨directly .. maybe indirectly I still want to keep those girls around, but I never say a direct ¨yes¨ .. Thinking about it, neither does she .. she says stuff like ¨Sure, let me see if everythings fine for saturday¨ .. or stuff like that ... its a¨Yes¨for guys.. but apparently a ¨no¨for her. Am I expecting to much from her? Am I sounding to controlling? Maybe I want her to say the exact words: ¨No thanks, I have a boyfriend¨ Sometimes I do think I´m asking to much from her, and that maybe I´m giving too much.. although I dont know why it bothers me, she has never seen a guy without me next to her, or gone out to a club without me. She hates those places. She reassures me I have NOTHING to worry, that she doesnt want to lose me. And its not only her that says that but her friends know that, and they tell me so. ¨Ive never seen her so happy before¨ ... etc... I mean, its not cheating unless she actually goes out and makes out / has sex with a guy right? .. Maybe my inner game isnt strong enough, I cant deal with this, or maybe over time I get used to it, or send it to the back of my mind. Who knows... Thanks for reading through.

Author:	Paul_T [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 2:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Don't sweat it mate. She is just being polite. If a guy has just invited her for something, but hasn't made it explicit that it is a date, than for her to say "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" would be a bit of a stretch - because in her mind, she is thinking that the guy would then be weird about it. I suspect if she was getting guys saying "let me take you on a romantic date" then she'd say that she was taken. Don't sweat it, that's a completely normal way for a hot chick to approach it.

Author:	Decessum [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Don't sweat it mate. She is just being polite. If a guy has just invited her for something, but hasn't made it explicit that it is a date, than for her to say "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" would be a bit of a stretch - because in her mind, she is thinking that the guy would then be weird about it. I suspect if she was getting guys saying "let me take you on a romantic date" then she'd say that she was taken. Don't sweat it, that's a completely normal way for a hot chick to approach it. I try not to, but I know she knows the intention of the guys when asking her out to a club. But I guess you're right, I was probably not used to dating a hot girl. My previous girlfriend had no contact with anyone. No MSN, no Facebook, she never went out, no one hit on her, and if they did she instantly rejected them. I´ll try to remain cool, although one thing I still don´t understand is why she tells me stuff different from what actually happened. For example, she would tell me ¨X guy invited me saturday, and I told him I couldnt go, when in reality the chat went something like: Guy: Hey whats up for saturday, we´re going to X club if you wanna come. Her: Saturday? I dont have anything planned, we´ll see what happens with my car. Guy: Ok, let me know. Her: Sure Guy:OK Maybe in her head its the same, telling him she couldnt than telling him that, any way, saturday night she will be with me. Could it all be to avoid a worthless fight?

Author:	TheSeagull [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:
as a PUA, you should be familiar with word "flake". you should know that a lot of girls will agree to a meet-up. and then flake. even repeatedly. and that many of them had no intention to meet you in the first place. even when they agree to a specific time&place. your GF is probably used to this form of vagueness (yeah, maybe, let's see, depends on X, probably, ...) as a form of courtesy to avoid being blunt "no I have a BF fucking get lost you creep". girls hate that. as guys, we are more able to deliver blunt rejections. girls are much less good at it. they will only do it if you're really a creep or you get annoying. other than that, anything less than she-shows-up-at-the-club should not be taken at face value.

Author:	PUA Kenny [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:
Why isn't anyone of the repliers advocating that Decessum should be a fucking a man and start flirting with other women also and accepting fates to teach his fucking girl a lesson? Why all the Beta-male responses of rationalizing why his GF accepts dates and flakes. Be a fucking man Decessum(the original poster)! Start accepting dates and game other girls.

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Author:	TheSeagull [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: to teach his fucking girl a lesson? Why all the Beta-male responses of rationalizing why his GF accepts dates and flakes. because this is the most Beta thing he can do. retaliate. it means she sets the frame. she dictates the rules. he is weak, and unable to stand for himself. so, what he does is play by her script to make her angry. like little kids. what we told him is the truth of the world with hot girls. if he still cannot accept it, his most Alpha course of action is speak out "I am pissed at you because you do not straight off tell these losers to back off since you are taken". And if this is a deal-breaker for him, be ready to walk. Treating a relationship as "who can piss off the other person more" is a bullet-proof recipe for failure.

Author:	Decessum [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 4:21 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah, by no means do I mean to retaliate.. This will only set a battlefield, of lets see who flirts more, lets see who gets more attention etc.. the last thing I want is a battlefield in my relationship. Youre correct about flaking, I had forgotten that term, and what it implies. Maybe I expected her to reject people the way I reject them, but truthfully, I dont know why its harder for them. Thanks for your reply!

Author:	Crypto [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 5:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Yes, I always flirt with girls. I do it with or without my GF being around. I do not act on it, but I know I get these girls jucy! My GF knows that I can get another to replace her tomorrow, and I know she can get another dude too. Thats how it works. Be who you are, if you are social be social! Changing "who" you are will destroy you/your relationship. Peace...

Author:	Paul_T [ Fri Sep 14, 2012 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Don't sweat it mate. She is just being polite. If a guy has just invited her for something, but hasn't made it explicit that it is a date, than for her to say "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" would be a bit of a stretch - because in her mind, she is thinking that the guy would then be weird about it. I suspect if she was getting guys saying "let me take you on a romantic date" then she'd say that she was taken. Don't sweat it, that's a completely normal way for a hot chick to approach it. I try not to, but I know she knows the intention of the guys when asking her out to a club. But I guess you're right, I was probably not used to dating a hot girl. My previous girlfriend had no contact with anyone. No MSN, no Facebook, she never went out, no one hit on her, and if they did she instantly rejected them. I´ll try to remain cool, although one thing I still don´t understand is why she tells me stuff different from what actually happened. For example, she would tell me ¨X guy invited me saturday, and I told him I couldnt go, when in reality the chat went something like: Guy: Hey whats up for saturday, we´re going to X club if you wanna come. Her: Saturday? I dont have anything planned, we´ll see what happens with my car. Guy: Ok, let me know. Her: Sure Guy:OK Maybe in her head its the same, telling him she couldnt than telling him that, any way, saturday night she will be with me. Could it all be to avoid a worthless fight? Quite possibly. A lot of girls will go a long way to avoid having to reject a guy outright. Believe it or not, a lot of girls actually don't like rejecting guys. It's a socially awkward moment for them, and most girls hate social awkwardness and will avoid it like the plague! Quote: as a PUA, you should be familiar with word "flake". you should know that a lot of girls will agree to a meet-up. and then flake. even repeatedly. and that many of them had no intention to meet you in the first place. even when they agree to a specific time&place. your GF is probably used to this form of vagueness (yeah, maybe, let's see, depends on X, probably, ...) as a form of courtesy to avoid being blunt "no I have a BF fucking get lost you creep". girls hate that. as guys, we are more able to deliver blunt rejections. girls are much less good at it. they will only do it if you're really a creep or you get annoying. other than that, anything less than she-shows-up-at-the-club should not be taken at face value. Exactly what I was trying to say. Look at her actions, not her words. Her actions = rejecting other guys and staying with you. Get used to guys hitting on your girl - it means that shes fucking hot. Just don't get needy and clingy, or you'll loose her. Quote: Why isn't anyone of the repliers advocating that Decessum should be a fucking a man and start flirting with other women also and accepting fates to teach his fucking girl a lesson? Why all the Beta-male responses of rationalizing why his GF accepts dates and flakes. Be a fucking man Decessum(the original poster)! Start accepting dates and game other girls. Yeah, don't do this. "teach his fucking girl a lesson" ?? She's blowing off the other guys, and staying loyal to Decessum. She's being awesome!

Author:	league [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 7:22 am ]
Post subject:
If you'd of shown more balls and dumped her a few months ago when me and a few others were saying dump her then you would probably be back with her now but she wouldn't be 'flaking' on these guys she would be saying 'sorry i have a bf' Now she knows she can say whatever she wants to whoever she wants and you wont do shit about it

Author:	Mr. Gatsby [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 9:50 am ]
Post subject:
I'm not going to lie, this bothers me. I call this "setting herself up for success". It's a lot like we do when we keep girls that orbit, not tell them we have a girl so that when or if we break with ours we have something to fall back on. This is unacceptable for a relationship that is going to continue. What you are doing is making an exception for her by letting her get away with it and not being honest. What you need to do is one of two things, one (the most preferable) walk away. If she wants it she will fix it. Two, explain to her exactly what she is doing and that it is unacceptable behavior and extremely disrespectful. If you were doing the same thing, keeping women in waiting, she would not like it. Tell her that you respect her enough to not play that game with her. If her reaction here is that of understanding, then you are good to go. If she is defiant, walk away. You are getting yourself into a mess.

Author:	Reo [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: If you'd of shown more balls and dumped her a few months ago when me and a few others were saying dump her then you would probably be back with her now but she wouldn't be 'flaking' on these guys she would be saying 'sorry i have a bf' Now she knows she can say whatever she wants to whoever she wants and you wont do shit about it Agreed ^ The OP has had too many issues with this girl for the past several months. I have the feeling it's going to end ugly very soon. While you can't stop your gf from getting hit on. I'd personally have a problem with her saying yes the invites even if she didn't go. I bet if the right guy asked her she'd go and you'd never know anything about it.

Author:	Jambi [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:
Well said Mr. Gatsby. For the first part. But I disagree with telling her anything. If anything the OP should build up his own group of orbiters as this will give him more confidence and make him even more attractive to his girlfriend who will fight harder for him. Hot girls have orbiters. That's just how the world works. She keeps these guys around in the background as a confidence booster and if these guys suddenly started to disappear she would lose a lot of confidence and get low self esteem. This would be bad for you because she will become way to dependent on you for her self esteem and she will latch onto another guy. This is why some girls who have been abused as a child become promiscuous. They need approval off men to validate themselves. I'd rather have a girl who gets hit on than a girl who hits on guys

Author:	Jambi [ Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:
Well said Mr. Gatsby. For the first part. But I disagree with telling her anything. If anything the OP should build up his own group of orbiters as this will give him more confidence. Do not let your gf know about this it's not to set up a war it is meerly to give yourself a confidence booster. Your girlfriend will notice how much more confident you are this will make you even more attractive to her and as a result she will fight harder for you. BUT MAKE SURE YOU ARE COY WITH IT. Hot girls have orbiters. That's just how the world works. She keeps these guys around in the background as a confidence booster and if these guys suddenly started to disappear she would lose a lot of confidence and get low self esteem. This would be bad for you because she will become way to dependent on you for her self esteem and she will latch onto another guy. This is why some girls who have been abused as a child become promiscuous. They need approval off men to validate themselves. I'd rather have a girl who gets hit on than a girl who hits on guys

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Author:	Decessum [ Sun Sep 16, 2012 9:53 am ]
Post subject:
I think thats what I needed, flirting with girls.. At a party some girl was flirting on me and she got all jealous, then through facebook.. I dont want to make her jealous, but it boosts my confidence.. To be honest, I dont feel like leaving her is the right way.. if all, it sounds so coward, instead of facing the ¨challenge¨.. and its true.. looking at her actions, not her words.. messages, letters etc.. Actions speak louder than words, and like some have said. She´s rejecting them, maybe not indirectly, but shes not with them, when she could. So what if she keeps them around? Its not like shes gonna jump into their arms at the first sign of trouble, like Im sure most here would do. Thanks!