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GF can't orgasm during sex
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Author:  Johndigwood120 [ Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:37 am ]
Post subject:  GF can't orgasm during sex
Hi all, i was recently talking to my GF of 6 months and we talked about sex and orgasms.

I can give her a clit orgasm everytime but i never gave her a vaginal orgasm, i could do this with my ex gf's but i only tried it with my fingers then (was inexperienced at that time, now i read a lot about how to give it during penetration)

The thing that surprised me is the following; she said: ''I don't really feel much when you're in me, only on the outside and the G-Spot, the rest isn't sensitive''

I was like wut, soo i started to think my dick was too small and thats why she couldn't feel but she said that if it was any bigger she would get stretched out or something :roll:

Here's what i usually do:

-Long Foreplay
-Give her clitoral orgasm
-Penetrate her missionairy with pillow under her lower back
-Switch positions to her lying on her belly and me entering from behind (also with a pillow under her back)

Now i read in serveral sex guides (lol) that if you use the pillow technique on the second position i mentioned and you can last for longer then 5 minute she is ''guaranteed to orgasm'', well i can last very long and i probally lasted like 15/20 minutes (then my dick got soft lol) and she didn't cum.

When we talked about it i asked her about i asked her if she felt ''something coming'' along those lines, she said ''a little bit'' and i asked her like next time if she could orgasm if i would go on longer and she said ''i dont think so''

So now im thinking it must be my dick that's too small or something (its like 6.5 inches and 4.8inch girth i guess)

I am the first guy she had sex with btw..
Author:  Sly_Wolf [ Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:48 am ]
Post subject: 
It's not too small, don't even worry about that. You gotta talk dirty to her. A lot of the time it's mental for women so if you just fuck her without turning her on emotionally then it won't be as powerful. Tell her you own her pussy. You'll make it happen with time.
Author:  870 [ Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:55 am ]
Post subject: 
The female orgasm is 90% mental and 10% physical, meaning that even if your dick was small (your measurements are actually pretty average) it wouldn't matter nearly as much as creating a fantastic, seductive vibe that sucks her in and makes her feel existentially sexy.

Even more important than that, she needs to develop a mental pathway to orgasm that can only become clear once she sheds any inhibitions or hangups she has regarding coitus (body issues, for example, keep a lot of women from enjoying themselves as much as they otherwise could). You can help her with this by NOT mentioning that she needs to do it, but making it a point to tell her in no uncertain terms just how hot her naked, goddess-like body makes you and how you're convinced it must have been sculpted by angels, etc.

You know your girlfriend better than we do, so it's up to you to elicit what mental hangups are preventing her from giving herself over to orgasm and help her overcome them. The important thing is that you do it in a subtle way that doesn't make her think you are psychoanalyzing everything she does; that will only make her more self-conscious.

Since she is sexually inexperienced, it's likely that this process could take a long time, but success relies largely on you not taking her inability to cum personally, and not becoming insecure yourself as a result of it.

This means your most pressing concern at this point should be expelling any anxiety over your 'endowment' from your mind.

Your boy,
870
Author:  sheps [ Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is the only time you can stop and ask for directions... Honestly just ask her what she wants you to do. Also theres no reason you can't get her off before you start a couple of times to increase her relaxation AND sensitivity or stop mid way and do the same at least she's satisfied and she'll associate penetrative sex with orgasms it doesn't really matter how they come (excuse the pun).

You might ask her about fetishs too, mate of mine had a similar issue with her bf, they dressed up as SPAM and robin (i didn't ask... she was robin) and she said it blew her world.

Also if you're the first guy she's been with encourage her to masturbate (buy her a toy thats smaller then you are that does NOT vibrate) and get her to "discover herself' then she can guide you... she needs to know her body.

Its not your equipment - if you can do it with your tongue/finger you can do with anything
Author:  Jambi [ Fri May 04, 2012 7:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Honestly just ask her what she wants you to do.
Personally I believe this will do more harm than good. Women get turned on by dominant men and you asking her shows you are unsure. Dirty talk is the way to go. Even if you describe what you are doing to her at that point in time will allow her to envisionage it mentally which will increase the physical sensations.
Author:  QuantumLotus [ Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
With respect Jambi I have to disagree.

This is NOT a power struggle. They will have to communicate if he will succeed with consistency. This is important, and she is the only person to know what feels best to her.

There is a certain percentage of women who don't have sensitivity in this way. Its a fact of life, and a fact of anatomy. Don't believe me? Google this on health/medical websites. Don't pressure her to "feel something" or make her feel like she is lacking something. Find out what she wants, and do that. Be a man about it, but first learn how to "make her go". You need this information.

If you take Jambi's advice you risk running around in a football field, while trying to learn baseball.

The only possible way to remove this issue would be if somehow she is experiencing a lack of sensation due to a side effect of some medication she's on or a similar medical reason. Sometimes this can happen with ADHD meds, or antidepressants. See your doctor for more information there.

Otherwise don't worry about it. Do what she wants, get her off a few times, do your thing, and rock on. Remember that many women can have multiple orgasms, and that they get bigger and better increasingly. This is the opposite of what you would expect as a man.
Author:  TheSeagull [ Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
if she comes with clit stimulation, and you provide that with fingering or tongue, your job is done. remember you can make her come multiple times. she will definitely stop you when she gets too sensitive.
do you know where her g-spot is? a hook-like rubbing of that can also make a girl cum, or at least get her very very horny.
untested (yet.. it will be tested tonight though :twisted: ).. fuck her doggie-style and have her rub her clitoris, directly or with a Magic Wand if she has one
you could ask her to finger herself to orgasm (if she is into that, most girls are, but many will deny it) and learn the way she does that, then reproduce it

the pillow is good, but some girls will not come even that way.. just enjoy the experience more, and will appreciate that you care enough about their pleasure to plan for it

long eye contact, dirty talk and the own-the-pussy line might help out.. does she have a kinky side? you could try some role-play. guess what, most girls have a fantasy for being raped...

another common theme is spank her, treat her like a naughty girl and punish her

I am also open to more advice from other users, of course :wink:

EDIT: never, never, never, act self-conscious about you not being able to make her cum by penetration. it will only make her self-conscious and even more unable to cum. it's not your fault, it's just the way her sexuality works. as long as you make it good for her and she makes it good for you, all is well.
Author:  pablohernandez [ Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
While I do think communication is the key to great sex you are putting way too much pressure on her to orgasm.

I used to suffer from premature ejaculation, badly. After getting over it I now find it hard to cum if there is too much pressure put on me to cum. If a girl says 'are you going to cum?' after a long night of sex chances are I wont be able to. Ive faked orgasms because girls have wanted me to cum, if Im not wearing a condom I have to make excuses. Its horrible and its because of pressure. I know the time will come when I go soft halfway through!

Stop putting pressure on her. Sex shouldnt be about the orgasm, its about having fun. If she's thinking 'oh I hope I cum' she probably wont.
Author:  TheSeagull [ Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I have to make excuses. Its horrible and its because of pressure.
Why not just be upfront and honest about it :?:
I have the same thing.. there are times when I cannot for the life of me cum by penetration. Other times I just go on for 5 minutes and then drop the load. I don't know why, I cannot see what is different between the times I cum and the times I do not. But I do know these things:
- no condom makes it much easier to cum, even though I have come with a condom and didn't come without one
- being self-conscious about orgasming will make me not orgasm. guaranteed
- there is a moment when I clearly feel that I could keep pounding for an hour and still not cum. after that line is crossed, I will go on till I get tired but not orgasm

You should be honest. Tell the girl you know that it's not her fault, she is gorgeous and everything she did was amazing, but it's the way your body works. she should relate to it and respect it, especially if she herself has a hard time climaxing.
I have only had one girl become self-conscious and wanting to friend-zone me because I could not cum with her. I spent a lot of time reassuring her, and after a few more tries, I did come.
If she is good at hand/head-jobs, she could finish you off that way. Or you can try and finish yourself. Just like a girl fingering is a turn-on for a man, a man masturbating is a turn-on for a girl.
Author:  pablohernandez [ Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:57 am ]
Post subject: 
I am usally honest but with one off's I can always see how much it knocked the girls confidence telling them. With girlfriends its not a problem and i can either finish myself off or Im comfortable enough to cum anyway. I cant cum from blowjobs, never have so that doesnt help either. Not being able to make someone who is sexually experianced have an orgasm is going to make you question your own ability.

Communication like I said is important but I think comfort needs to be built slowly with it. Its ok asking if they like it but keeping on at them about why somethings not happening wont help.
Author:  LBot [ Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Or you can try and finish yourself. Just like a girl fingering is a turn-on for a man, a man masturbating is a turn-on for a girl.
It's a Trap!!1!!1 My GF gets very upset when I try to get myself hard even with just a couple of quick jerks, self conscious that she is not hot enough for me even though she is a 9.
Author:  pablohernandez [ Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Or you can try and finish yourself. Just like a girl fingering is a turn-on for a man, a man masturbating is a turn-on for a girl.
It's a Trap!!1!!1 My GF gets very upset when I try to get myself hard even with just a couple of quick jerks, self concious that she is not hot enough for me even though she is a 9.
Masterbating over a girl isnt the same as getting yourself hard. Girls love being masterbated over.
Author:  TheSeagull [ Fri Jun 08, 2012 6:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Girls love being masterbated over.
exactly. make sure to drop the load on her body of course :wink:
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