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She slept with somebody else before we became official
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Author:  Winchester [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:35 pm ]
Post subject:  She slept with somebody else before we became official
We've been seeing each other for about 4 months now, after a month before we were official and had agreed to not see other people I slept with someone, I think I was a bit scared because I was really falling for this girl, I didn't plan on it just happened, very unlike me, I told my GF the next day and explained why (didn't try to justify it), she broke up with me first then we got back together and things got much better really quickly.

I found out yesterday that she had slept with someone a week after I did, her ex, we were in a bit of an undefined thing since I fucked things up. She told me she still thought she had feelings for him but realised she didn't, that it was just a 1 night thing and she's been completely faithful since we have been official.

I don't think what she did was justified although given what I had done it I realise how easy it is to slip up if your head is in the wrong place, my problem is that she didn't tell me until now, like 3 months on. Telling her what I had done was extremely hard as I thought it would be the end of us, I'm just confused now and don't know if I could trust her again. I'm very into this girl and it's rare for me to find a girl I don't get bored of within a week or 2.

Think I just needed to vent but any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
In her mind its justified its her way of feel even with you.

You guys probably just got back together because she slept with her ex.

Revenge never heard of it?

It reminds me a scene of alfie. Where she just forgives her cheating boyfriend after fucking his best friend.

To be honest you dont have valid reasons to feel the way you are, because you were the one that didnt kept your promisse. She Just fucked a guy after you guys broke up.

So why so mad?

You come here and tell you cant trust her. Guess it applies the same way to her.

You are mad because she didnt tell you right away, but maybe she didnt see a future with you guys, and know she probably felt bad and told you.

Since she fucked a guy when you guys broke up, you cant be mad especially when you were the one to fucked things over.

I understand from a ego point view you are hurt. And slight worried she didnt tell you but eprhaps she has valid reasons ask, what reasons to withhold that information

But you are the one who knows if you can trust her or not.
Author:  Winchester [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
What do I do about this ex now, she will see him again as they have some of the same friends?
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 5:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you show her your insecurtiy and be all jealousy because of her ex. And tell her not to see her ex boyfriend.

You are doomed.

Its like telling a kid, You will only reinforce this idea.

You dump her, because you dont trust her.

Or you trust her, and go on with your live has nothing happened. You guys both start from scratch.

But to be honest being friend with an ex special when they are fuck buddies is big red flag.

Everytime she will feel blue or have fight with you... who she is gonna call

the ghostbuster i dont think so...
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 6:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
actually this can be a good thing...

cuz ya'll have already got the "i hope he/she doesn't fuck somebody else" thing out of the way, lol! seriously though...

you both fucked someone else, and look, you still like each other!

that sounds like a recipe for success! hell, you all could even joke about it. like bonding.
Author:  General Lamb [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
If it bothers you and is playing on your mind leave.

What's important here is that you learned a lesson. If you like somebody enough and things are looking good, don't do something that would potentially ruin that.
Author:  papichulo818 [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
So what she wasnt obligated to you.

Get over it man, women sleep with men, men sleep with women.
Author:  Winchester [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
I just broke it off with her, and explained I'm not angry or anything, all I've wanted from the beginning was honesty, I know I fucked up first but I told her straight away and said I understand I've fucked things up and we should end things.

What I don't want to happen is me get all clingy and not be able to trust her, looking over her shoulder when she gets a text etc, wondering what she's going to do when she's out with her friends and an Ex is out, if we fall out will she run to her ex as a shoulder to cry on.

The fact she slept with him because of the circumstances I'm not pissed off, if she'd have told me straight away I'd have been fine.

The girl I slept with I haven't seen since and haven't spoke to her, I make sure it stays like that. She has seen this guy since and he's helped her with essays and stuff which I was cool with before she told me what happened but it would probably drive me crazy now.
Author:  Txacoli [ Sun Jan 15, 2012 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well that's what you get for not keeping you mouth shut. You fucked up but needed to get rid of the guilt so you told her. That's pretty selfish, just unloading your shit onto her. If a slip up happens, whoever slipped up should either manage the guilt trip alone without burdening their partner and totally fucking their self-esteem and confidence, or just break up if they can't handle what they did.
I know many of you will disagree, but I'd rather not know, and most women think like that, despite saying they want to know. They don't. That shit hurts.
Except if it was unprotected sex, then I'd want to know to never eat that pussy again haha :)
Anyways, she sounds like a good girl despite everything, I don't think you should worry about the bf. She's done with him, you've won.

EDIT: Well, I guess it's better for you this way then.
Author:  Richard Pryor [ Mon Jan 16, 2012 8:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well that's what you get for not keeping you mouth shut. You fucked up but needed to get rid of the guilt so you told her. That's pretty selfish, just unloading your shit onto her.
I know many of you will disagree, but I'd rather not know, and most women think like that, despite saying they want to know. They don't. That shit hurts.
Exactly. Why the fuck would you tell her? You're the only one to blame for this breakup, not her for not telling you right away that she slept with her ex.
Quote:
The fact she slept with him because of the circumstances I'm not pissed off, if she'd have told me straight away I'd have been fine.
Bull shit, dude. Go tell that story to someone else. I'm not buying it.
Author:  goodnamesaretaken [ Tue Jan 17, 2012 2:15 am ]
Post subject: 
What? You didn't like a taste of your own medicine?
Author:  Maikuljay [ Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well that's what you get for not keeping you mouth shut. You fucked up but needed to get rid of the guilt so you told her. That's pretty selfish, just unloading your shit onto her. If a slip up happens, whoever slipped up should either manage the guilt trip alone without burdening their partner and totally fucking their self-esteem and confidence, or just break up if they can't handle what they did.
I know many of you will disagree, but I'd rather not know, and most women think like that, despite saying they want to know. They don't. That shit hurts.
Except if it was unprotected sex, then I'd want to know to never eat that pussy again haha :)
Anyways, she sounds like a good girl despite everything, I don't think you should worry about the bf. She's done with him, you've won.

EDIT: Well, I guess it's better for you this way then.

Man, I could not agree more.. People are saying waaaayyyy too much these days.. let's focus on why we're really here..

I don't think it's right to cheat, but I think it's wrong for others to suffer because you did so.
Author:  Reo [ Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Phate you shouldn't have told her about that other girl you weren't even together.
She was stupid for telling you she slept with her ex after all that time.

I think what really bothers you is the fact she's been hanging out with the ex all this time keeping that secret. Also the fact she's going to continue hanging with the ex is a problem too. It makes you wonder why she'd wait till now to tell you about the ex.

I don't blame you for breaking it off with her.
Author:  mattyman [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
score is 1 all. play on.
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