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https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=86828		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Penthus [ Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:54 am ]
Post subject:  Crazy forum... I like it!
Hey, figured I would drop in and say hi. It's crazy that a forum like this exists. It's cool how ya'll are here to share tips and help others in the art of relationships.

Anyway, I guess I'll talk a little about me. My social skills are pretty bad, not with just females but anybody in general. I'm not shy or anything and I have no problem with walking around and saying hi to random strangers, but I suck at making small talk. If someone else initiates the conversation, I'm generally fine, I can carry it on for the most part (a lot of the time I will run out of things to say but I've improved this quite a bit). But I very rarely am able to actually initiate the conversation, which 99% of the time leaves me standing awkwardly to the side unnoticed and feeling extremely uncomfortable. It's something I've been desperately working on but nothing seems to click.

I swear, I'm getting sick of bringing up the weather. :lol:

Btw... Is there a list of all of these acronyms? I thought it was bad in the Army..
Author:  Hobo [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
I actually find there is too much activity on this forum - can't keep up with it!

I'm quite quiet too and often stand awkwardly at the side of a conversation. I think you should keep a mental list of unusual or interesting topics in your head for use when needed - ones that people like to talk about and can keep a sustained conversation going. Holidays/travel for example or just ask them about themselves. Also, try to feel comfortable not being actively engaged in a conversation. You could just listen for a while. People are intuitive and they will pick up that you are comfortable and that is cool.

Google should have a list of acronyms..
Good luck
Hobo
Author:  Penthus [ Mon Mar 07, 2011 4:00 am ]
Post subject: 
That seems to be the problem is the fact I tend to have this mental block that prevents me from striking up a conversation. Every now and again a topic will hit me and I can converse with no problem. But those are what I like to refer to as good days where I have no trouble talking to people, but they are few and far between.

I don't know how intuitive most people are but I often feel invisible to everyone around me, including family. It's sort of like my family and the other people around me treat me like I'm toxic, keeping me at arms reach, very rarely acknowledging me. I seem to have a hard time establishing a stronger presence around others.

Whatever the case may be, all of my efforts to break through this "social outcast" barrier continue to fail. It feels strange sharing even this much, but I really don't know what else to do. I can't seem to do it on my own, so I'm hoping there are others with some insight that they would like to share.
Author:  Hobo [ Mon Mar 07, 2011 10:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
i find it strange that your family treat you like that, but if that is how you have been brought up, it is understandable that you have some interpersonal issues. If you aren't so close with your friends and family, maybe moving to a new city would be good for you? That might sound like throwing you in at the deep end, but you would get a clean start and you might surprise yourself that you can make new friends easily in a new environment.

one other thing; when you start a conversation with someone, the first thing you say doesn't really matter very much. It sounds like you can engage in a flowing conversation once you have started it up, so start it by saying anything. A simple compliment for example - Hey, I like your hair, where did you get it done?' - will always be well-received and can lead to a sustained conversation
Author:  NickD [ Tue Mar 08, 2011 1:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Hi Penthus,

That can be a real problem eh?
There are actually a few courses that will actually help you out with this scenario more than you might think. Forget the PUA ones that cost 2k plus, there are some great 10 day science of attraction courses available for £100 that cover this problem and teach you to deal with it effectively.

They start by teaching you a scripted approach, I know it sounds corny, but it works, once you have mastered that, they move on to teaching you to "freestyle it", because by this point you have already mastered the scripted approach you have something to fall back on if you get stuck and you will be surprised how much this will help you when it comes to being outwardly forward in starting a conversation. Google RLASchool, they do a great course.
Author:  Penthus [ Tue Mar 08, 2011 4:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah.. I can't afford that lol.

Well, I can't seem to pull that off either. If I try to initiate a convo with someone like "so, what is your major?" or anything that may interest them, I get one word responses. I can't seem to even get a convo going. Despite all of my best efforts, I swear I'm freakin' toxic.

I don't know, it kind of feels like the universe is against me at times.
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