Hello, all:
In the spirit of a forum like this, which is all about being "real" about things that most guys simply never talk about openly (betas, wussies, "Oh no honey, she wasn't pretty!" etc.), I will get to the interesting things about myself very quickly.
I'm in the middle U.S. somewhere. I am a little north of 30 years old. I have a PhD. A career change is in my future. I am married with one child. I would do ANYTHING for my son, which means that I will stay in a loveless marriage with his mother. We do not have knock-down, drag-out fights, and so our home is a "happy" one from the child's perspective. Psychologists all say that in that circumstance it really is better for the child that the family and the home stay together. So, that's it for me. No compromise.
We are, essentially, roommates who are raising a kid. We do not hate each other, but we do not love each other any more, either. While my wife would hardly be pleased to find me sleeping with other women, we are both basically at peace with the fact that our situation is what it is. My intention is not to embarrass her, and allow her to have the appearances that are important while she pursues her goals, which do not really include romantic companionship at this time (I don't think so, anyway, but whatever I want her to be happy). At the same time, I want to do the same, but my goals DO include sexual companionship.
I tell you all this because, obviously, it offers some interesting obstacles to me as I try to do PUA. I hope to get some help in thinking through these things, both by searching old threads and by starting my own if need be. I thank you all for your help in advance.
More interesting things about me: I'm from a religious home (though my parents were divorced, no doubt contributing to my own refusal to do the same to my son). My wife and I met at a Christian college. We were virgins when we got married. She is still, at this moment, the only woman I have ever been with. However, I am a good looking guy with a very good sense of humor and I have realized over the last several years that, if I had done things the "normal" wild-guy way in my 20s, I think I would have had a pretty good time.
My problem growing up was what you'd expect. No strong male leadership in my mind gave me no good example of how to be comfortable around women, and so I lacked confidence for most of high school and only really began to realize that I could have a way with women if I wanted to when I was about 18. But due to my religious beliefs, I didn't feel right about being a "player." So I would meet lots of girls, get very friendly (not "friend zone," but wink-wink-friendly
), but not go very far with it. A few dates, very gentlemanly, as expected of me. I started dating my wife during my junior year, and we got married after graduation. This isn't about my own poor choices when I was younger. As I said earlier, it is what it is, and I'll play the hand I've dealt myself. Meanwhile, I've been on or around college campuses for the last 10 years (after graduating from college myself), in grad school and then teaching classes at the college/university level. I "keep up" with younger humor, just to make jokes when I'm teaching if nothing else. I've always been a natural laid-back guy to have a conversation with. I don't "talk at," I talk to. I "understand" people, including women, etc. My religious upbringing definitely gave me principles, and I still have a few of them and I stand by them.
I've always been very confident, even as a teenager when I wasn't confident about women I was confident about everything else. I have had a number of interested 20-somethings cross my path, and lately this has happened more and more (I don't know if they pick up something changing about me before I had admitted it fully to myself, or what?) So, in any event, my situation being what it is, I don't want to say too much more at this point.
Nice to "meet" all of you, whomever I do in fact meet!