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Lacking ability to flirt??
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Author:  RossMan [ Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Lacking ability to flirt??
Hey guys!

I'm new here but I've been following for some time now, so I would like to introduce myself to the scene! I'm 23 and I would consider myself a good looking guy, 5'10" blond, skinny build but athletic(i work out).

Anyways, about 3 years ago i got out of a bad relationship in which we only dated for 6 months but i guess i let my guard down and we got way too attached. Since then i feel like Ive lost the interest in trying to date women. I've talked to women since then and dated around but no girls that make me say "WOW." My last sexual encounter was almost a year ago.

I have this problem where I let girls come to me, initiate conv, relationship, all that crap,which i'm def not proud of but hey what can i say.. I'm an AFC. :) I want to be the one to choose my relationship, not it choose me.

I hang out with a lot of pretty girls.. i'd say most are HB8. At one point in time, most of them have had a thing for me as well. They call me, text me, want to hang out, but all i do is resort to letting them chasing me and letting on like i don't have interest..leading me in the dreaded "Friend Zone"! :( I feel like i lack the ability to flirt now. Maybe deadened from my last relationship.

Anyways i just wanted to tell my story and see if anyone else has been in this situation. I am excited to start posting with you guys!
Author:  Hatfield [ Fri Nov 12, 2010 6:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
What's up Ross?

We have all been hurt as some point in life by a woman, but it takes time to get over it.....sometimes more than we think it should. I do not feel like you lack the ability to flirt now; just that you lack the motivation to flirt. Or it could be that you mentally associate flirting with feelings of your past relationship. Its always tough for nice guys to get back to normal after they put their guard down. Once your deal with your issues and get past your fears you will enjoy things beyond what you could imagine. Trust me, I've been in your situation before, and its no fun, but it will make you a stronger person. What books/audio books have you read/listened to?
Author:  RossMan [ Sat Nov 13, 2010 1:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the reply man! I have read "The Game" and I'm currently reading "The Alchemist" (not really a pick-up book.) Which have you read? Any suggestions?
Author:  Tzinc [ Sat Nov 13, 2010 2:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey Rossman Im just like you but unlike having a 6 month relathionship I was in a tumultuous 6 year relationship and even had a child with her whom I love to death but I just wish I went down that road with someone else.

After my break up I dated a few girls but couldnt really find a connection with them I was always chasing the comfort I had with my ex and the attraction she was hot but a complete bitch, even though it was a terrible relationship and she destroyed my self confidence. Then I met a girl named victoria and we had an instant connection we had an amazing relationship (although it ended mainly due to the fact I have a kid with my ex and she felt if we had kids together it wouldnt be special... shes young and those were her feelings. It sucked but what can I do) but it made me realize there are great girls out there. My problem is I am like you I wait for them to come to me instead of me instigating contact and seeing whats out there. thats why I am here. Victoria showed me that im a great guy but no one will know it if I dont take action.

Get deep inner game by david deangelo that has really helped me on a course to better myself as well as man transformations and double your dating. I am high on conscious and low on intuition so I need to practice to be less of a giving guy. I had major holes in my boundaries I could tell you stories that would make you cringe about how bounderieless I was when I was younger. Im also going to learn as much as I can because the way I see it the more knowledge you have the more adapt at blending in conversing then the flirting will come naturally.

Good luck
Author:  RossMan [ Sat Nov 13, 2010 6:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Awesome, man. Thanks for the advice. Yes, it seems like we've gone through some of the same emotions. She did tear up my self-confidence which I'm just now getting over, still not completely though. It is true that unless I take a chance with a girl that she won't know how awesome of a guy I am. That is a great point, and i will definitely check out those books!
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