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Greetings all. I´m Exidium.
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Author:  exidium [ Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:33 am ]
Post subject:  Greetings all. I´m Exidium.
Greetings everyone!

I´m from Brazil, and far from what some people think, "The Game" is pretty hard here too (at least for me it is).

I got 23 years old and I just started with PUA studying. Pratically a newbie. I got interested on PUA after I started to read Neil´s book, "The Game" and tried to gather some other stuff, such as "Mystery Method" and that "Speed Seduction" from Jeffries.

I´ve been trying to do that "group" domination and ignoring the target. Worked well once or twice, but I don´t get alot of practice. Where I am really killing myself? When I get some interest from the girl, I end up in the "Friend Zone" (in fact, that´s pretty constant in my life). So my game is pretty much making people feel good around me (at least, I try to), but it seems they get too comfortable and I don't know what to do to break that pattern.

Something interesting that I would like to share: When I do that with a 10 or 9 (shit, even 8), seems like my head gets out of focus. I get real nervous and I start acting as if I was in grave danger. PIsses me off, because I don´t get to think strait and plan how the hell I am going to deal with the situation.

Did someone ever went through that?

My number of womans: 13. 8 of them I got the sexual part, in which 5 of them where my G/Fs. Most of these girls, howerver, were needy girls who were desperate for attencion.

So basicly, I´m still on the "Friends Zone Hell" : )

Hobbies and passions... Well, I do love to play my guitar, Blues, Jazz and some bad ass rock n' roll styles. Some MPB and Bossa Nova are great too. Along with that, I illustrate and draw alot. And I am beggining to practice Yoga, seems pretty good to deal with stress... I wortk with graphic design and advertising and I hope someday to be able to create my own agency and live out of amazing illustrations, motions and so.

And to improve my social/seductive skills. Alot.

Thx for reading and I look forward to make some new friends!


Here´s for PUA and to a better person.
Author:  magnum45 [ Fri Apr 16, 2010 3:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Can I ask you a question?

Are you using PUA to conceal your identity? Are you not confident with who you are as a person? Is there someone who is telling you that you are not good enough? Or has your past experience alone led you to believe this?

Sorry to be so "opera" but I'm trying to figure something out, and I could use your help.
Author:  exidium [ Fri Apr 16, 2010 12:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey Magnum,

Well, I´ll be very frank: my self-steem sucks. It got alot better after I started to see a shrink and deal with the reasons (which basicly involves my parents telling me, on a constant basis, that I am a worthless person, even when I was little) that would pull me down. So... yeah, I do have alot of experiences in the past and present that tells me that I am not good enough and I´m trying real hard to fight that. I´m not a 100% yet, but I do feel alot better.

When I started to read about PUA, I though of it more as a tool to understand women better and how to better interact with them, to be more sucessful to deal with one when I got attracted.

I don´t see PUA as a tool, however, to build an identity to myself. Thinking about it, identity is built from your past experiences, current life and what are your goals.

Hope I could help ya. What are you trying to figure out?
Author:  magnum45 [ Fri Apr 16, 2010 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
My identity has been concealed by PUA. I use it to cover who I really am. I turn to it at times when I don't know what to do. And most of the time it backfires. The first two years it worked great and help get my feet off the ground. But Now I'm at the point were I am relying on it to avoid rejection. Like making jokes instead of just saying yes. My fear of rejection is still deep seeded in me. They say the more practice the easier it will get. Well I'm going to try to be vunerable all the times. And If I get rejected then I just have to keep going. I'm not going to shut off. But I can't rely on PUA as a means of "keeping me safe"

Sincerely,
Magnum45
Author:  exidium [ Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
well dood, as far as I´ve been reading about self-steem and such, the main thing is to confront the stuff you´re afraid of.

I´ve been reading this link and I think there are some parts that kinda touches what you´re saying.

Pick Up Artist Forum Home Page -> Beliefs and Confidence Building, Self-Esteem, and General Inner Game

(sorry, can't provide link yet, but i´m sure u´ll find this easy enough)

Be yourself, but unfraid of what you are. That´s terrifing and sure as hell, hard. But I think that if you are able to approach people as yourself, without the fear of showing them what you really are, it´ll be much better, not only in terms of outcome with women, but also to yourself.

I share your fear of building an fake iron curtain so people like of an illusory image instead of myself, so I really try to avoid to build an fake image. Rather, I try to reinforce myself, to realize I don´t have a low value to myself.

I ask myself this: "Ok, I think I am worthless and shitty. Why am I unworthy and shitty?". if you find reasons, do your best to change them. If not, you got your answer.

Something my shrink taught me: go in front of the mirror. Think abuot youself. Did you thought anything bad, like "retard, sleezy or moron"? Or maybe something even less? Get that word, that lowers you, and repeat to yourself, looking strait in the eyes, with a loud and clear voice, as much as you can. After you´ve done that, tell me: do you agree?

I think not.

Hope I could help in some way. Everything I told you now, I can´t really follow right, it´s pretty hard to raise my own value to myself. : P But we try!
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