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Can this site just help me be more likable and charismatic?
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Author:  JC88 [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Can this site just help me be more likable and charismatic?

I read a little bit of 'The Game,' and I'm interested in finishing it, but the part that I've read so far seems to focus on dominating the nightlife scene, and fulfilling your sexual desires or whatever. I'm not a certified expert, but I've had plenty of sex in my short life, and even though I've missed opportunities here and there, I don't feel like I missed out on anything, or that I'm not capable of picking up attractive women.

But my problem lies outside of designated meeting places like clubs or parties. It seems like everytime I talk to or work with women, or even men, they're repulsed by me somehow. I still have a few friends, and I have a beautiful girlfriend who's stayed with me through thick and (currently) thin. But I've always noticed that people just tolerate being around me, and try to run away from me without making a scene.

I never considered it a serious problem, until the time that I was thrown out of the military. I swear, I was absolutely despised by everyone-- from the lowest-ranking soldier to the top commanding officer... and I'll never understand why. I suppose the reason why I was kicked out of the military was justifiable... but I certainly didn't commit any crimes, and their decision to discharge me was more like a final 'fuck you' after making trying so hard to make my life miserable. I'm still traumatized by that event-- it gives me nightmares and flashbacks to this day.

After that horror story, I decided to return to college. In my classes, all of the girls seem to give me the same awkward 'don't look at me' face that I saw in my last moments in the military. I'm not interested in dating any woman besides my girlfriend; but it's unnerving to know that classmates want nothing to do with me except help finish their homework.

I don't know how I'm supposed to make a living, or have a successful career, if I'm having trouble connecting with peers. The worst part of this problem is, I've begged people to tell me what problem they have with me, and I haven't gotten an answer so far. I've even talked about this to a psychologist, and he didn't give me any advice (he just listened, without providing feedback).

I'm really troubled by this, and I'm still looking for help. If I can't find the solution to my problems on this site, can someone be so kind to point me in the right direction?

Author:  Chillburg [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 4:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

You should probably read A LOT of the topics on the "inner game" section of the forum bro, there is a lot of information that will help you see yourself through a mirror and it is worth it to spend some time there.

I wish you the best of luck.

Author:  MySmileIsARifle :-) [ Tue Jan 26, 2010 4:27 pm ]
Post subject: 

Welcome to the fourms.

You might want to check out out the inner game section. If you msg me I can talk to you. Im not best at all but I can help you best I can. Have good day bud. :)

Author:  hakly001 [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 5:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can this site just help me be more likable and charismat

Quote:
I read a little bit of 'The Game,' and I'm interested in finishing it, but the part that I've read so far seems to focus on dominating the nightlife scene, and fulfilling your sexual desires or whatever. I'm not a certified expert, but I've had plenty of sex in my short life, and even though I've missed opportunities here and there, I don't feel like I missed out on anything, or that I'm not capable of picking up attractive women.

But my problem lies outside of designated meeting places like clubs or parties. It seems like everytime I talk to or work with women, or even men, they're repulsed by me somehow. I still have a few friends, and I have a beautiful girlfriend who's stayed with me through thick and (currently) thin. But I've always noticed that people just tolerate being around me, and try to run away from me without making a scene.

I never considered it a serious problem, until the time that I was thrown out of the military. I swear, I was absolutely despised by everyone-- from the lowest-ranking soldier to the top commanding officer... and I'll never understand why. I suppose the reason why I was kicked out of the military was justifiable... but I certainly didn't commit any crimes, and their decision to discharge me was more like a final 'fuck you' after making trying so hard to make my life miserable. I'm still traumatized by that event-- it gives me nightmares and flashbacks to this day.

After that horror story, I decided to return to college. In my classes, all of the girls seem to give me the same awkward 'don't look at me' face that I saw in my last moments in the military. I'm not interested in dating any woman besides my girlfriend; but it's unnerving to know that classmates want nothing to do with me except help finish their homework.

I don't know how I'm supposed to make a living, or have a successful career, if I'm having trouble connecting with peers. The worst part of this problem is, I've begged people to tell me what problem they have with me, and I haven't gotten an answer so far. I've even talked about this to a psychologist, and he didn't give me any advice (he just listened, without providing feedback).

I'm really troubled by this, and I'm still looking for help. If I can't find the solution to my problems on this site, can someone be so kind to point me in the right direction?
You are searching for help and that is a major step in the right direction. You have admitted that you are flawed. The next thing to do is start believing in yourself. Project yourself as the person you want to be and start acting as if you are already him. If you want to be well received by others you must put out a vibe as if they will gain something by being around you.

Be fun, have fun, joke around. You can't look around and judge how people are receiving you, it will come off as creepy--girls are repulsed by creepy. Act as if you are the man and you don't care what others think. Put out a positive, fun vibe and don't worry about what others think. If you can do this, people will start to come to you.

Lastly, don't act needy. You must not cling to the first person that shows you positive attention once you change your mindset. You have to give off a vibe like you don't care--your world is perfect and everyone else would be lucky to be in it. Once you begin to see yourself as the person you want to be, you will begin to become that person. We are only held back by ourselves, alpha males go get what they want and deserve

Author:  JC88 [ Wed Jan 27, 2010 6:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can this site just help me be more likable and charismat

I thank everyone for the relies, and I will make a post in the Inner Game section soon.
Quote:
You are searching for help and that is a major step in the right direction. You have admitted that you are flawed. The next thing to do is start believing in yourself. Project yourself as the person you want to be and start acting as if you are already him. If you want to be well received by others you must put out a vibe as if they will gain something by being around you.

Be fun, have fun, joke around. You can't look around and judge how people are receiving you, it will come off as creepy--girls are repulsed by creepy. Act as if you are the man and you don't care what others think. Put out a positive, fun vibe and don't worry about what others think. If you can do this, people will start to come to you.

Lastly, don't act needy. You must not cling to the first person that shows you positive attention once you change your mindset. You have to give off a vibe like you don't care--your world is perfect and everyone else would be lucky to be in it. Once you begin to see yourself as the person you want to be, you will begin to become that person. We are only held back by ourselves, alpha males go get what they want and deserve

Incidentally, I read the letter my supervisor sent to the judge advocate general to recommend kicking me out. She said "it's like he doesn't care about anyone else around him." The girlfriends that I had this past decade complained that I'm hard-headed. That's interesting feedback -- I don't know what image I'm showing to others, but I'm convinced I don't give the impression that I really care about what others think or say about me. Not to say that my 'don't care' attitude is effective... it clearly hasn't worked to my benefit.

But I do know that image is important-- some of the funniest comedians out there are (or were) deeply troubled individuals.

Look, in a professional environment, is it really important to appear fun and easy-going? I want to appear knowledgable and authoritative (but not miserably so), and I'm not sure that I send that image to anyone.

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