I recently picked up a girl whos ex is still crazy about her so obviously this kid hates me, surprisingly I dont have that much of a problem with him
She's considered getting back together with him and openly discussed this with me and because I genuinely care about her happiness and dont live in the same country anyway I've told her to go for it but everytime she just comes running back to me.
I know a bit about her ex and I feel sorry for him because I'm obviously fucking his one-itis but when i see how he's screwing it up and helps me see what not to do if I'm ever in his position.
Let me tell you a bit about this chap, and how he went from being total Jock to AFC..
He was very popular in school, he dated the cheerleader captain, he was the 1st team rugby captain, head boy and valedictorian. His parents are loaded so he always got the coolest gear, cars and he could buy any chick he wanted. He left school with a scholarship, and took his girl with him to South Africa where he got engaged to her.
Then one day his girl lost interest and broke up with him and his whole world crumbled, he was no longer in school so he wasnt surrounded by people who knew him and looked up to him. His wife-to-be broke up with him and since they shared mutual friends and she's such a cool chick they all chose to spend time with her rather than him.... and at that time, I met her.
So now all his mates are friends with the one guy who he resents most in the world (me). So he feels real hard done by.
But what I've discovered here is that he's his own worst enemy at the moment and all his problems are in his head.
His friends obviously all prefer him over me and just because they're polite to me it dosent mean they dont want him around. they all talk so highly about him and try convince my girl (sometimes in front of me) to get back together with him.... she considers it but when she tries to get close he's impatent and tries to force himself onto her and blows it.
He meets new girls with his mates but all he speaks about is himself... he obviously needs attention and some self esteme boost. and when he's not speaking about himself he's talking about his ex... bad move. He says he tries to get back in the game but dosent know what else to do. Everything else he says comes across as put on because he hasnt dealt with himself first.
I've tried to be considerate towards him by not touching and kissing my girl infront of him but despite me trying to be a gentleman, he slags me off and tries to fight me or show me up every chance he gets. He puts all the blame on me for everything thats wrong in his life but unfortunately for him I live in a different country, so when I leave and it all carries on he goes fucking crazy.
What I'm getting to is that I dont think he even knows what he's doing here but the main thing I make of all this is that his confidence is so low that if he dosent work on himself first he'll have a tough time forever.
If he looked back and saw his past successes and gave himself credit for them it would make a start to getting his confidence back. He's no different to the confident guy who made it to the top when he was in school so instead of focusing on whats gone wrong in his life he should think about what whent right.
He needs to know it takes time but if you realise that the time you dont feel as confident gets shorter and shorter and eventually diminishes and the time where you do feel confident gets bigger than you'll be armed with the patience to move on and get out there and get things rolling for yourself.
Ok I think you get the picture, draw you own conclusion here...
Just a thought... use it dont use it.
|
