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| Author: | Jack Knight [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | how to game on AIM |
secret elmo: come back to california Yannika babyyeah: why? secret elmo: so you can play beer pong with us secret elmo: and so we can be friends again Yannika babyyeah: sir we are friends Yannika babyyeah: and who is "us"? secret elmo: just people secret elmo: tonight its jenna, alana, rick, james, and me Yannika babyyeah: where in cali? secret elmo: slo secret elmo: 1370 osos street Yannika babyyeah: absolutley NO secret elmo: i'm in apartment A, rick and jenna are in apt D secret elmo: why secret elmo: ? Yannika babyyeah: ever since my accident in SLO i cant drive up there secret elmo: k ill drive you secret elmo: fly to LAX Yannika babyyeah: no i can;t be in a car i SLO secret elmo: k we can use my scooter Yannika babyyeah: in secret elmo: ill buy a scooter for you secret elmo: or ill get a motorcycle secret elmo: and you can ride behind me Yannika babyyeah: you dont understand.... i can't be in SLO secret elmo: what accident? Yannika babyyeah: i had a really bad car accident in 06 Yannika babyyeah: it took me 4 months to drive again secret elmo: i got thrown off a horse once secret elmo: and it cracked my helmet Yannika babyyeah: and in the time period i was in 2 more car accidents (i wasnt driving) secret elmo: and fucked up my shoulder secret elmo: took 2 months to recover secret elmo: and didn't ride a horse for 4 yrs after that Yannika babyyeah: it fucked a lot more then your shoulder sweetie secret elmo: what happened to you how long before you recovered? Yannika babyyeah: the car was totaled (sp?) i had a head injury, and my shins were bruised for months secret elmo: that sucks Yannika babyyeah: yeah secret elmo: I don't think it's a function of driving in SLO though secret elmo: I think the driver of the car might have been the issue Yannika babyyeah: i was the driver Yannika babyyeah: thanks secret elmo: oh secret elmo: i said the wrong thing secret elmo: Yannika babyyeah: anyway its a pschyo thing i need to deal with secret elmo: yeah, slo is a cool place, there's all these college kids Yannika babyyeah: mom tried to send me to a shrink. Yannika babyyeah: i hate college kids. secret elmo: I think santa maria is boring in comparison Yannika babyyeah: i live in a college town. i want to droop kick all of them! secret elmo: Really? I think it's idyllic, I choose to live among college students. secret elmo: why do you dislike them? Yannika babyyeah: you would Yannika babyyeah: naive, ignorant, they have dumb opinions Yannika babyyeah: all they care about is "changing the world" secret elmo: eh secret elmo: I don't care about most people's opinions secret elmo: I care about Jenny's Yannika babyyeah: and playing beer fuckin pong secret elmo: but Jenny's gonna be a forensic pathologist Yannika babyyeah: who is Jenny? secret elmo: yeah I thought beer pong was lame before I moved here to this college area secret elmo: she's my roommate Yannika babyyeah: uhm okay secret elmo: aren't you in school? secret elmo: to become a nurse, yeah? Yannika babyyeah: isnt a pathologist someone who lies? Yannika babyyeah: to be a teacher!! secret elmo: a pathologist is a person who examines dead people secret elmo: oh secret elmo: Yannika babyyeah: what did i confuse that with? secret elmo: pathological liar Yannika babyyeah: oh yeah that Yannika babyyeah: anyway i want to be a social studies teacher secret elmo: if you wanna be a teacher you gotta like students secret elmo: I like my students secret elmo: one of them has cancer Yannika babyyeah: oh i love students secret elmo: in her ovaries secret elmo: and she has a kid secret elmo: I was tutoring her today Yannika babyyeah: i dont like college kids secret elmo: she's coming over to my house tomorrow I think she is gonna want to hook up with me Yannika babyyeah: oh god secret elmo: would you hook up with a student secret elmo: ? Yannika babyyeah: hmmm... maybe secret elmo: like, if he was hot secret elmo: and wanted to secret elmo: and he was dying Yannika babyyeah: of age? secret elmo: but he was not very smart secret elmo: ~28 secret elmo: like one of your worst students secret elmo: but one who tries hard Yannika babyyeah: oh yes!! secret elmo: and is physically attractive Yannika babyyeah: i would deff kiss the hell out of him secret elmo: yeah I didn't hook up with her during the time when I was teaching the class secret elmo: but now after the class is over I probably want to also ok next topic Yannika babyyeah: thats good Yannika babyyeah: okay moving oun Yannika babyyeah: on secret elmo: I was at a high school the other day secret elmo: high school girls are hot secret elmo: I wouldn't want to teach high school unless I was happily married or something Yannika babyyeah: okay im reporting you secret elmo: no don't secret elmo: I'm already on probation for Yannika babyyeah: for what secret elmo: assault secret elmo: but that's a plea bargain Yannika babyyeah: damnit secret elmo: what I did was secret elmo: this girl secret elmo: has a boyfriend secret elmo: agreed to have me come spend the night with her Yannika babyyeah: you assaulted a girl??? secret elmo: but I have to come back in 1/2 hour secret elmo: so I left and came back and the door was locked secret elmo: no problem, I crawled through the window secret elmo: and came to her bedroom, nudged her shoulder secret elmo: she moved over and made room for me in her bed secret elmo: then she didn't want to have sex secret elmo: so we just cuddled secret elmo: and she called me Robert secret elmo: and I laid there for like an hour puzzling about that Yannika babyyeah: you would secret elmo: and decided to just cuddle and secret elmo: anyways in the morning she's like secret elmo: wtf are you doing here secret elmo: not anymore I wouldn't secret elmo: but in 2006 I would secret elmo: yeah secret elmo: anyways secret elmo: so I was like secret elmo: what do you mean wtf am i doing here secret elmo: she's like ok my dad is coming back you have to go quick get out now secret elmo: so i left secret elmo: and her dad saw me anyways secret elmo: his truck pulling up is what woke us up secret elmo: and then her boyfriend found out secret elmo: and then i started getting death threats from him on my cell phone Yannika babyyeah: how is this girl? secret elmo: and then the police came and asked me questions Yannika babyyeah: old secret elmo: idk i don't talk to her secret elmo: she's my age secret elmo: 26 Yannika babyyeah: damnit secret elmo: damnit why? Yannika babyyeah: you get yourself in the craziest situations secret elmo: yeah that's why I don't have a license yet secret elmo: I have had to stay under everyone's radar for the last year secret elmo: and in 6 more months I can get off probation and get my license to practice law Yannika babyyeah: olny you would crawl tho a window inthe middle of the night then be called a different name then wonder about it then be threatened to be killed secret elmo: then i can make big money secret elmo: that is only part of the story secret elmo: i met this psychotic girl named jenn secret elmo: and didn't realize she was psychotic secret elmo: a few weeks before all this happened secret elmo: and she was living with me secret elmo: she is a berkely drop out alcoholic who i helped to get into ucla Yannika babyyeah: wow secret elmo: and anyways we both got thrown into mental hospitals right after we broke up secret elmo: so Yannika babyyeah: you always have the most amazing sstories secret elmo: that was two days after i left that girl's house who i crawled into her window secret elmo: that was the last crazy shit that happened in my life though secret elmo: after that the cops showed up at my house to arrest me for rape secret elmo: and i had to go get a lawyer to talk to the DA and hide out in LA secret elmo: and the DA admitted she didn't have any of the elements of rape secret elmo: there wasn't even any clothes being taken off secret elmo: so she removed that charge secret elmo: and replaced it with residential burglary secret elmo: they charge you with extravagent crimes so that they can get you to plea bargain to something secret elmo: then the girl broke up with her boyfriend secret elmo: and she tried to send a message to me that she wasn't going to cooperate with the prosecution if I give her $2000 secret elmo: and I didn't respond or talk to her because it was against court orders secret elmo: and I took this deal for 3 years of probation secret elmo: but anyways before I surrendered to the police and got bailed out after they reduced the charges secret elmo: I was down in LA, studying for the bar secret elmo: and that's an insane amount of stress secret elmo: to be studying for the bar while there's a warrant out for your arrest for extravagent crimes like that secret elmo: it scared the shit out of me Yannika babyyeah: yeah crazeeeeee secret elmo: and so I pulled it together and passed the bar and shit secret elmo: but after that I watch my step secret elmo: and I've been really careful secret elmo: you know secret elmo: ? Yannika babyyeah: so my word of advice.... secret elmo: I want to be a millionaire, and I want to have my professional license secret elmo: so I can't go fucking shit up secret elmo: and anyways now that I've passed the bar I'm not as desperate for girls as I was before Yannika babyyeah: dont fuck your student secret elmo: I probably won't but the reason is secret elmo: well I have my reasons they are private secret elmo: what's new in your life secret elmo: ? secret elmo: I downloaded this hentai called Urotsukidoji Yannika babyyeah: what are your reasons? Yannika babyyeah: no sense in being private... ive seen you naked Yannika babyyeah: ? secret elmo: i am talking with a 16 year old about tentacle rape right now Yannika babyyeah: tentacle rape? Yannika babyyeah: from what? an octopus? Yannika babyyeah: and dont change the subject secret elmo: secret elmo: I downloaded this hentai called Urotsukidoji secret elmo: I watched the first 15 minutes of the first episode evil dragonpussy: okay secret elmo: it's supposed to be all ultra-violent but I didn't notice anything very ultra-violent secret elmo: evil dragonpussy: slasher porn? evil dragonpussy: that's typical secret elmo: no it's tentacle rape secret elmo: porn secret elmo: evil dragonpussy: so how is tentacle rape supposed to be violent? secret elmo: because demons secret elmo: stick their tounges out secret elmo: and they expand into like 50000000 tentacles secret elmo: which they plunge into the girl's vagina, mouth, secret elmo: secret elmo: and pump semen into her secret elmo: and like 15 tentacles invade her anus secret elmo: and wrap around her secret elmo: and lift her up in the air secret elmo: evil dragonpussy: i'm not sure that question was meant to be answered secret elmo: and make her feel all overwhelmed evil dragonpussy: i understood the fundamentals of tentacle rape already secret elmo: evil dragonpussy: i just never thought of it as violent secret elmo: that's Jenny's little sister secret elmo: what you want to know why I won't probably fuck my student? Yannika babyyeah: yes secret elmo: yeah you talking about seeing me naked reminds me of secret elmo: your snatch Yannika babyyeah: omg secret elmo: which was very wet and makes me want to taste it secret elmo: but secret elmo: then secret elmo: it also reminds me of secret elmo: how I totally fucked it up by hesitating and such secret elmo: and so I don't really like thinking about it secret elmo: I wish I had fucked you alot, I'm a good fuck but you wouldn't know because we didn't ever have sex secret elmo: ok so why won't I fuck my student? secret elmo: because I don't like fucking girls who are kinda dense and who I don't communicate well with secret elmo: because eventually in relationships it gets to the point where it seems like, for example in the relationship that I just exited secret elmo: the girl liked to show me off and public displays of affection secret elmo: like im some kind of prize to her secret elmo: and she liked getting fucked by me secret elmo: but when I need emotional support or I want to talk to someone secret elmo: she really wasn't any good for that secret elmo: which was frustrating for me secret elmo: my brother is in the process of getting put in prison right now secret elmo: and my grandma has throat cancer and might die, and might have to have her voice box removed secret elmo: and I agonize about these things secret elmo: and I want to talk about somebody with it secret elmo: and the girl I am laying in bed with just wants me to fuck her secret elmo: and then wants me to shut up secret elmo: and that's cool secret elmo: i guess secret elmo: but it wasn't enough for me secret elmo: and I think with my student it would be the same way Yannika babyyeah: which brother? secret elmo: i think she admires and respects my intellect and is physically attracted to me secret elmo: Jack secret elmo: mark is all straight-edge now Yannika babyyeah: sorry that is beside the point but i know all your brothers Yannika babyyeah: yeah i just talked to him not that long ago Yannika babyyeah: i am sorry to hear that about Jack Yannika babyyeah: and your grandmother secret elmo: he is more advanced in his knowledge of neuroscience than i am now secret elmo: I have to do research and look things up to understand his publications secret elmo: which pleases me secret elmo: and Holly is becoming a product of higher education too Yannika babyyeah: did you know that i had sex with Mark secret elmo: Robin and Jack are fucking up secret elmo: yeah i talked about this with him secret elmo: i told him if he wants to fuck you he can fuck you it's fine with me secret elmo: he denied fucking you secret elmo: so i didn't talk about it anymore secret elmo: he denies fucking every girl Yannika babyyeah: omg Yannika babyyeah: lol Yannika babyyeah: he was my 1st one night stand secret elmo: i sorta do that too secret elmo: deny fucking every girl Yannika babyyeah: aaaaooooo secret elmo: probably because when i was learning how to seduce girls i was trying to model my little brothers' behavior Yannika babyyeah: i cant believe he denied it secret elmo: bc my perception was they have good success rate secret elmo: dude he denies fucking esterra and everyone he doesn't talk about sex Yannika babyyeah: lol secret elmo: lots of guys brag about their sexual conquests secret elmo: but our grandfather used to talk to us secret elmo: and he said things like secret elmo: well he didn't talk about his conquests either, he doesn't talk about them secret elmo: my grandpa on my mother's sid secret elmo: e secret elmo: he says if the girl is nice enough to be intimate with you, why damage her reputation? secret elmo: it's a courtesy thing Yannika babyyeah: thats sweet secret elmo: so don't be put off that he denied it Yannika babyyeah: i just think its funny secret elmo: it's not like I can't tell what the truth is by reading him secret elmo: he looks up and to the right when he constructs visual images Yannika babyyeah: i would have thought you would have been upset secret elmo: i am polyamorous secret elmo: when i had a girlfriend secret elmo: i fucked other girls secret elmo: and i told her i wouldn't commit to being monogamous with her Yannika babyyeah: you are ridiculous secret elmo: and we had 3somes secret elmo: and i encouraged her to fuck other guys secret elmo: because i only wanted to spend maybe 3 or 4 nights a week with her secret elmo: and didn't want to be on the hook to satisfy all her needs secret elmo: i get bored fucking the same person all the time secret elmo: i don't even want to be a girl's main boyfriend secret elmo: i want to be her sidejob Yannika babyyeah: thats why you introduce different things... not ppl secret elmo: are you talking about positions secret elmo: or are you talking about toys secret elmo: or what are you talking about? secret elmo: this guy from my law school who dropped out secret elmo: his mom is in malibu and getting divorced from her husband and trying to get her malibu home Yannika babyyeah: i talking about whatever you want... secret elmo: and he calls me up in the middle of my conversation with you and wants to send me an email and have me review it and give him legal advice secret elmo: i told him im playing beer pong and can i respond in the morning? secret elmo: he says i can borrow a room in his malibu house for a week if i do it now secret elmo: well you said "different things" Yannika babyyeah: food, toys, objects secret elmo: i don't like toys secret elmo: well idk if i dislike toys secret elmo: ive never liked any toy Yannika babyyeah: whatever the fuck it takes to keep him occupied secret elmo: ill tell you what keeps me occupied secret elmo: i spend enough time away from a girl secret elmo: i miss her secret elmo: and she grows interesting to me again secret elmo: so i call her or show up at her house and fuck her Yannika babyyeah: perfect. secret elmo: but if i live with her secret elmo: and she wants me to fuck her all the time Yannika babyyeah: me and my husband are going to have our own houses secret elmo: and wants to hold my hand all the time secret elmo: i don't think i would want to get married secret elmo: to anyone Yannika babyyeah: i want to. i want to have a huge family secret elmo: then she would just have a claim to 50% of whatever i earn secret elmo: i want to have alot of kids secret elmo: i need another beer secret elmo: brb Yannika babyyeah: i need to get doing my hw. Yannika babyyeah: which means i need to close out this convo Yannika babyyeah: so piece out Yannika babyyeah: i will be back in the 805 in a year and a half secret elmo: wait what secret elmo: ok secret elmo: do your hwk secret elmo: hey secret elmo: i miss you ok come back sooner and come to slo Yannika babyyeah: yes secret elmo: and lets go skydiving Yannika babyyeah: i cant secret elmo: and do other high energy shit Yannika babyyeah: ok to the sky diving Yannika babyyeah: just not to slo secret elmo: fine lets go to malibu secret elmo: for a week Yannika babyyeah: m not getting naked with you secret elmo: i am earning a spot in 22370 Twisting Court in Malibu right now Yannika babyyeah: i dont have sex anymore Yannika babyyeah: i gave it up secret elmo: that's gotta be depressing Yannika babyyeah: not really secret elmo: did you give up alchohol? Yannika babyyeah: i spend my time doing other things Yannika babyyeah: no, i still drink Yannika babyyeah: lol Yannika babyyeah: infact i was drunk on tuesday night secret elmo: k you don't have to agree to get naked with me Yannika babyyeah: and got hit on like mad it was amazing and i had/have the strength to say NO secret elmo: just to hang out secret elmo: thats fine whatever Yannika babyyeah: i dont trust you... you Yannika babyyeah: lol Yannika babyyeah: we can hang out! secret elmo: im not that much of a horn dog secret elmo: i mean, i fuck like a god for about 20 minutes secret elmo: but that's about all im good for Yannika babyyeah: hahah secret elmo: maybe not like a god secret elmo: but you know, girls always want to fuck me more after i fuck them secret elmo: even if they have boyfriends Yannika babyyeah: i like it rough for hours secret elmo: i don't have hours of stamina Yannika babyyeah: then it wouldnt work out anyways Yannika babyyeah: lol secret elmo: maybe the first night Yannika babyyeah: they always come back? secret elmo: last september secret elmo: is when i became sexually active secret elmo: err Yannika babyyeah: so if i had a ONS with a guy but never called him back does that mean that he just wasnt that good at it in the 1st place..... secret elmo: yeah i wondered about that secret elmo: because sept through december secret elmo: i had ONS's secret elmo: and i'd call the girl back secret elmo: and she wouldn't get together with me again secret elmo: and then after january i stopped having drunk on's secret elmo: ons's Yannika babyyeah: because looking at my "list" that seems to be the consensus (sp) secret elmo: and instead started paying attention and focusing on pleasing the girl Yannika babyyeah: i dont do it drunk... Yannika babyyeah: if i had a ONS, thats all it was, never anything after that secret elmo: and since then I have only had one ONS secret elmo: but that ONS was weird Yannika babyyeah: but i wasnt sure if that was my fault or his.. secret elmo: it was with a girl who secret elmo: i was initially attracted to ALOT secret elmo: then secret elmo: the way i seduced her was by having sex with another girl in the room next to her secret elmo: and then me and that girl went and laid down in the bed where she was sleeping naked, covered by our own sheets and covers secret elmo: and chatted with her while we were cuddling aftersex secret elmo: and made it seem all casual secret elmo: and then later randomly, this guy she was hooking up with couldn't get it up secret elmo: so she walked into the living room where we were watching alien secret elmo: naked secret elmo: and she complained that her boyfriend couldn't get it up secret elmo: so I asked her if she wanted me to finish her off secret elmo: and she said wait a minute secret elmo: and went back to talk to her boyfriend of the day secret elmo: so then after about 3 minutes i walked into the bedroom naked and asked if they wanted to have group sedx secret elmo: and she said yes secret elmo: and her boyfriend of the day didn't say anything secret elmo: so i ate her out while she tried to blow him secret elmo: but he couldn't get hard secret elmo: so i told him that she was wet and ready secret elmo: and asked him if he was going to fuck her secret elmo: and he just left secret elmo: so then we were alone secret elmo: but then she started being an idiot secret elmo: and talking all enthusiastically about "lawyer on lawyer sex" Yannika babyyeah: how long ago ws this? secret elmo: like in july secret elmo: or june secret elmo: after a wedding secret elmo: my friend erica and johnny got married secret elmo: it was the night after secret elmo: ok so secret elmo: i will tell you something secret elmo: when some 19 year old girl secret elmo: is yammering on about lawyer on lawyer sex secret elmo: which is supposed to be sensual secret elmo: but idk all these idiotic things were coming out of her mouth that were killing my boner secret elmo: and so i decided that i needed to shut her up secret elmo: so i ended up fucking her real good but it was accompanied by this weird roleplay Yannika babyyeah: please tell you didnt stick your dick in her mouth secret elmo: i told her to call me master secret elmo: and she did secret elmo: then i told her she was my slave secret elmo: and im not usually into this domination thing secret elmo: but with her i was really mad at her Yannika babyyeah: you are out of control secret elmo: i was like she needed to SHUT THE FUCK UP secret elmo: so she started roleplaying my slave secret elmo: and i told her i have a contract for her to sign secret elmo: and she's going to sign it in the morning secret elmo: and she says ok ill sign anything just fuck me secret elmo: she was frustrated because her boyfriend of the day totally failed her secret elmo: ok so then i said secret elmo: ok i have this guy who you are going to fuck secret elmo: she said what? Yannika babyyeah: you need to write a damn book or something secret elmo: and i was thinking about my 50 year ol dboss at the restaurant secret elmo: who was always bugging me to find him a hooker secret elmo: and by thinking about how i was going to pimp her out to him and make $300 secret elmo: i got hard secret elmo: and then after i got hard secret elmo: i ordered her to blow me secret elmo: and i gave her specific instructions about how to do it secret elmo: gently scratch the base of the shaft with your teeth Yannika babyyeah: okay enough.... secret elmo: compress your lips tightly around it secret elmo: im gonna fuck your face secret elmo: etc secret elmo: then i fucked her after she got me really hard secret elmo: then after that she slept on the bed with me for about 2 hours secret elmo: then she went back to her boyfriend of the day and cuddled with him secret elmo: and the other girl came in with me secret elmo: and we slept secret elmo: and then we didn't call each other after that secret elmo: but that's the only ONS I've had since last december secret elmo: and it made me feel really weird afterwards secret elmo: i did feel out of control secret elmo: and strange secret elmo: i did that because i had already been motivated to fuck her from earlier secret elmo: and it was a response to my frustration that she was acting like an idiot with her attempted dirty talk secret elmo: why do you think in terms of FAULT when summarizing ONS's to yourself? secret elmo: I notice that some of the girls I've been with language in terms of blame and fault secret elmo: when ascribing significance to events Yannika babyyeah: because i dont ever intend on having them secret elmo: which is the inverse of the way I langauge secret elmo: like if I try to weigh fault secret elmo: it usually registers as irrelevant secret elmo: unless there is some kind of harm that resulted to someone secret elmo: in which case i still try to figure out a way to avoid focusing on it Yannika babyyeah: you totally lost me... secret elmo: i mean secret elmo: i am interested in motivations and intentions secret elmo: and in understanding behavior secret elmo: but it's seperated from blame or fault secret elmo: because there are the reasons for a given behavior secret elmo: and then there are the justifications for it secret elmo: the justifications are a response to blame, or trying to avoid blame, and knowing them doesn't help to understand behavior secret elmo: like, if you ask why we're at war secret elmo: people who are pro-war will say it's to liberate the people of <country>, or to bring democracy, or to bring freedom secret elmo: but the people in the war room who planned the war didn't say to each other "we need to bring democratic freedoms to the people of <country>" Yannika babyyeah: what does this have to do with blame with ONS secret elmo: the democracy/freedom stuff is rhetoric, it's justifications, and it doesn't help to explain the behavior secret elmo: pertains to the issue of blame secret elmo: like when i was trying to explain tot his girl secret elmo: that i wanted her to fuck other men secret elmo: or to not automatically shut out other men just because she's with me Yannika babyyeah: you were doing so well with not using big words and such and now you are just throwing too much out there.. i cant keep up with you when you do this secret elmo: and to see them as opportunities secret elmo: ok secret elmo: ill simplify secret elmo: i tell a girl that i don't want to be her "go-to" for sex, that she should find other partners to satisfy her on wednesday-friday secret elmo: or at least be open-minded about finding other partners secret elmo: and not shut them out because she's fucking me secret elmo: and her interpretation of my request secret elmo: is to start acting like I've accused her of doing something wrong secret elmo: or to act like I have implied that there is something wrong secret elmo: and then to start making excuses and explaining why her behaviors are not her fault secret elmo: she says she likes comfort and stablility secret elmo: and it's not her fault that she wants comfort and stability secret elmo: and says she has anxiety issues secret elmo: and that they're chemical secret elmo: and she can't change her behavior secret elmo: so i don't press the issue secret elmo: but i do notice that secret elmo: when i started the conversation secret elmo: it wasn't about blaming her for anything, or faulting her for anything secret elmo: i was just trying to make her aware that i wanted her not to depend on me for satisfaction ALWAYS secret elmo: that would have made me more comfortable, because im polyamorous, and i want her to be polyamorous also, so that we're equals secret elmo: but i sense that in females that guilt and sex are closely connected Yannika babyyeah: i would never agree to that secret elmo: well she has already agreed that i can fuck whoever i want Yannika babyyeah: shes stupid secret elmo: bc i have already told her that im going to do that, and if she's not comfortable with that then she needs to let me know secret elmo: and implied that that means im going to walk away from the relationship secret elmo: and she doesn't want me to walk away i guess secret elmo: so at the beginning of this conversation it was already established that im polyamorous secret elmo: but it was awkward because she wanted to be monogamous with me while im not being monogamous with her secret elmo: you never have casual relationships? secret elmo: yeah right, you do, you just can't openly admit to it, because you're a girl. Yannika babyyeah: i cant, i always get my heart broken secret elmo: everybody hurts when relationships don't work out the way they want Yannika babyyeah: but the last year has been such a weird year for sexual experiences secret elmo: i walked around in some kind of weird pain for like 3 weeks after you didn't hang out with me anymore Yannika babyyeah: what why? secret elmo: and walked around in serious pain for months after I came back from costa rica and couldn't see this girl mariana anymore secret elmo: and other girls ive wanted and cant be with anymore have caused me pain secret elmo: guys feel pain girls feel pain secret elmo: but from these experiences you learn Yannika babyyeah: i gave you a 3 week pain and this other bitch gave you months of pain WTF secret elmo: hey this girl took my virginity Yannika babyyeah: o amn secret elmo: you i didn't even have a ONS with Yannika babyyeah: man Yannika babyyeah: yeah but you want too secret elmo: but i wanted you pretty badly secret elmo: but anyways ok so we all feel pain, so what secret elmo: i have learned something secret elmo: from buddhism secret elmo: buddhist treatises talk about "ignorant desire" as the source of suffering alot secret elmo: alot of people suffer because they don't control the hopes they form secret elmo: they hope and want and desire and need things they can't have secret elmo: and it creates vicious cycles secret elmo: if you learn to control your inner secret elmo: your desires secret elmo: your wants secret elmo: and you perish a thought before it turns into an obsession secret elmo: then you don't wind up being obsessed and going into thralls of despair and withdrawals secret elmo: these same processes that used to torment me usually work in my favor now Yannika babyyeah: so how do i control it? Yannika babyyeah: oh got it secret elmo: i notice girls experience it too Yannika babyyeah: dont let it turn into an obsession secret elmo: and so its actually easier to maintain multiple long term relationships secret elmo: than it is to maintain one stable ideal relationship secret elmo: because secret elmo: if i ignore a girl who wants me secret elmo: for 3 or 4 days secret elmo: she starts to experience those thralls of despair and withdrawal secret elmo: we are like drugs secret elmo: you're like a drug secret elmo: im like a drug secret elmo: people can get addicted to us secret elmo: if you constantly have access to a drug you want it less than if you don't have control over your access secret elmo: anyways secret elmo: ill let you do homeowkr secret elmo: iuts my turn to play beer pong ;p secret elmo: i miss you though i hope i see you in malibu ok Yannika babyyeah: okay Yannika babyyeah: this thing is usually always on so hit me up!! Yannika babyyeah: its been a pleasure Yannika babyyeah is away at 00:12:27. Yannika babyyeah returned at 00:32:20. Yannika babyyeah signed off at 01:17:29. |
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| Author: | Jack Knight [ Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | post |
i need more posts |
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