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| Finally Making an Effort to Learn https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=24232 |
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| Author: | otatop [ Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | Finally Making an Effort to Learn |
Glad to be here, everyone. I've been aware of the collegiate study of attraction and pick up artistry for some time, but I've been in the habit of simply dismissing it. My history with women has been marked by little real success and a considerable amount of pain. I grew up shy and introverted, and it has taken me a long time to come out of my shell. As I'm sure many of us have experienced, I more often than not end up being the "friend" of women in whom I have a romantic interest. This has led to a great deal of frustration, and failed would-be long-term relationships where I believed that this "friendship" was basis for romance. Yeah, I was that guy. I'm now in my mid-twenties, for the record. Within recent years, after the most painful example of this relationship pattern in my life, I essentially withdrew from social life altogether and spend a great deal of time mired in self-analysis and improvement, stepping out of this mindset only to go to work. After this bore fruit and I was able to address the things that were wrong with my life, I began approaching the dating scene with a far more casual attitude. I had finally built the degree of confidence I needed to be a viable member of the social scene. It was then that I had my first real successes - having never heard of these concepts before, I successfully carried out what I found out later was basic game - to quote the accepted literature, I was occasionally performing negs, kino, etc., and my work generally began to be rewarded with things like kiss closes, even though these terms and concepts were unknown to me. After 23 years of frustration, I lost my virginity within a month of entering the dating scene in earnest. More success came afterwards, but I still wanted to know more. After going out on my own for a while and realizing for the first time in my life that I was a man who had the potential to create interest and arousal, I decided to look into the world of pick up artistry. I know that, since I've already been through stages of my life where I had to tear myself down and rebuild a more confident, capable person, I've already made some kind of progress down this road. I have reasoned with myself enough to know who I am and what I want from women. I can honestly say that I am at my core a kind, giving sort of person. I want sex, I like sex, but I'm also genuinely interested in things like intellect, personality, and committed relationships. I've accepted that I'm a decent guy - reasonably attractive, smart, good career, charity work - I was just alone more than I wanted to be. After debating the subject for a long time, I have discovered that I really have no interest in seducing women only as a trophy hunter. And I don't think I'm alone here. I avoided any association with things like "picking up" women because I considered the process separate from what I wanted in life. Now I understand that there are lessons here that apply to all men, and I just want to learn all that I can in order to better myself, to be able to provide the ingredients to my dealings with women that I've lacked, and that have held me back in the past. I look forward to dealing with everyone here. I want to learn all I can, and provide perspective when I'm able. Nice to meet you all! |
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| Author: | Infamous110 [ Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Welcome, otatop. I liked your introduction - I look forward to hearing more from you and anticipate that you will have some good input here. |
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| Author: | Chief [ Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This stuff is collegiate?? Sweeeet. Wait... no it's not. lol Almost, though. Almost. Welcome to PUAF, but I think you potato's going the wrong way. Hm... I wonder if there's a "otamot" here... |
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| Author: | otatop [ Sat Jul 05, 2008 2:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It's not collegiate? You mean we're not colleagues, or "Individuals explicitly united in a common purpose and respecting each other's abilities to work toward said purpose", with "said purpose" being a better understanding of ourselves and greater success in social interactions? Well, dang. I meant it in the broad, intellectual sense, not in the "Hey, let's do keg stands and then crash the sorority party" sense. Although I'm up for either. I don't think I'm all that backwards Chief, but thanks for the welcome. Happy to be here! |
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| Author: | Chief [ Sat Jul 05, 2008 10:51 pm ] |
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Quote: It's not collegiate? You mean we're not colleagues, or "Individuals explicitly united in a common purpose and respecting each other's abilities to work toward said purpose", with "said purpose" being a better understanding of ourselves and greater success in social interactions?
Oh. I guess I just got confused because I go to TULANE UNIVERSITY WOOOHOOOO!!! (It's a party school and I'm in a frat lol)Well, dang. I meant it in the broad, intellectual sense, not in the "Hey, let's do keg stands and then crash the sorority party" sense. Although I'm up for either. I don't think I'm all that backwards Chief, but thanks for the welcome. Happy to be here! Well actually I was just misguided by the definition google gave me. =P |
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| Author: | dizone [ Sat Jul 05, 2008 11:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
im jealous to you, i was like you year back and found the scene about month ago. i wish i'd be already at the same point that you are, although on the other hand its the journey that matters, not the destination. glad to have one more fella in the community, peace blad |
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