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Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
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Author:  Daniel22 [ Mon Jul 13, 2015 5:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Dear members! I would really some advice with the following girl, who gave me mixed signals.

We spent two days on the beach with friends. She is 22 (i am 32). She is at least a 9. Or 8,5, long blonde hair, sexy.

IOI: (or at least i think)
- she keeps long eye contact,
- she touched me near to the stomach when i said i was hungry, she touched my shoulders several times when she said something
- insisted to hug everyone including me when she said goodbye, although we know each other since 1-2/days,
- we were dancing and she seemed really enjoying it, she did not want to stop, she said afterwards that she liked it very much
- in the evening, i was late and she asked my friends, when will i arrive to the party

IOD:
- she did not seem to be too excited when she saw me next day
- wd could not talk much, although i tried to ask questions, she did not ask about me
- she was chatting constantly on her phone with someone else, she said that with a friend (a girl).

What do you think? I know its an AFC question, but should i call haler? I dont even have her phone number, but i can easily get it from friends.

Thank you guys!!
Author:  JackZero [ Mon Jul 13, 2015 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
I'm not going to lecture you on how you should have made your move in her presence. The past is the past, even though that's when you should have done it. So me pounding on your skull will not help you realize that taking advantage of the moment was your best route to go with her. So let's agree not to mention any of that...although you should have.

If you tell your friend to ask her if it's okay if you call her and she agrees to it, get her number and call. Call with a purpose. Realize that she may not see that as attractive though because you had all weekend with her. Some people would say that's when you should have gotten her number, but I won't dwell on that :wink: .
Author:  Daniel22 [ Tue Jul 14, 2015 5:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Yeah i know :/ you are right. I really did not behave confident. I just could not isolate her from the group of friends for a walk. And guys kept "giving me advice" (that how good is her, that i should call her, etc.) on the situation and it drove me nuts.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Jul 14, 2015 3:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Quote:
Dear members! I would really some advice with the following girl, who gave me mixed signals.

We spent two days on the beach with friends. She is 22 (i am 32). She is at least a 9. Or 8,5, long blonde hair, sexy.

IOI: (or at least i think)
- she keeps long eye contact,
- she touched me near to the stomach when i said i was hungry, she touched my shoulders several times when she said something
- insisted to hug everyone including me when she said goodbye, although we know each other since 1-2/days,
- we were dancing and she seemed really enjoying it, she did not want to stop, she said afterwards that she liked it very much
- in the evening, i was late and she asked my friends, when will i arrive to the party

IOD:
- she did not seem to be too excited when she saw me next day
- wd could not talk much, although i tried to ask questions, she did not ask about me
- she was chatting constantly on her phone with someone else, she said that with a friend (a girl).

What do you think? I know its an AFC question, but should i call haler? I dont even have her phone number, but i can easily get it from friends.

Thank you guys!!
These seem weak to me... but why wouldn't you just assume interest and go for it? I don't understand...

You literally catalogued her interest and disinterest, but couldn't engage her sexually or escalate?
Author:  Daniel22 [ Tue Aug 04, 2015 2:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Dear Members!

My short report with a girl from yesterday:

I sent a Viber-message to a really cute girl I know since 1 month around 18.30 saying: "Hi, I'm attending a concert at 21.00. Its really cool rockabilly music, join me if you want, I will be there".
She called me at 18.50 and told that she would love to come but she will not be able to go home at night (she lives 20 km away) and she tries to arrange accomodation at her sister's apartment in the center of the city. She promised to call me back.

After we finished talking on the phone, I wrote her at 19.30:"Why dont you sleep at my place? I live in the center of the city as well, I dont get up early".

And... She agreed to come!!! It was my biggest surprise ever. I became so excited I could not even think clear.

And we met at the concert, she dressed nice, we danced for 2 hours, we were laying on our backs on the ground afterwards, we had a great time laughing and dancing, we were watching the stars, etc. We did not drink any alcohol. I felt that the situation is really romantic.

We went to my home at 23.00, we were tired from dancing.

As we were laying on my bed close to each other, she was smiling and I felt that I have to kiss her. I moved close without saying anything, she moved away. I asked if its OK that I kiss her and she said that "only as friends", she said that I misunderstood the situation and she thought we are meeting as friends. She gave me the lets just be friends speech. She asked me what my plans for today with her were.

I said: "I really like her since we met and I just wanted to find out how this evening will end together". She was still smiling, but she never reacted if I held her hands, kissed her on the cheek, etc.

We were sleeping separately (she on the couch and me on the bed) and in the morning, she changed a little bit from romantic to friendly, still smiling a lot.

What do you think, guys? Do I still have any chance with her? How should I proceed? What did I do wrong?

Thanks a lot!! (She is 22 and I am 32. We have lot of common friends. She broke up with her boyfriend after 3,5 years 2 weeks ago).

Best,

Daniel
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
This is now a different girl?
Quote:
And... She agreed to come!!! It was my biggest surprise ever. I became so excited I could not even think clear.
Cause you didn't make it clear it's a date...
Quote:
As we were laying on my bed close to each other, she was smiling and I felt that I have to kiss her. I moved close without saying anything, she moved away.
Why was she in your bed if she didn't want to get frisky? I mean... For her to not think this was a date, but still be in your bed doesn't really add up, does it? Are you leaving something out?
Quote:
I said: "I really like her since we met and I just wanted to find out how this evening will end together". She was still smiling, but she never reacted if I held her hands, kissed her on the cheek, etc.
Facepalm...
Quote:
What do you think, guys? Do I still have any chance with her? How should I proceed? What did I do wrong?
1) You did not properly convey this was a date... not a friendly encounter
2) You asked if you could kiss her instead of actually just doing it
3) You told her you've liked her for a LONG time... which is creepy and displays your over-investment
4) You still think there's a chance

Just find someone else. Learn from your mistakes.
Author:  Daniel22 [ Tue Aug 04, 2015 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Thanks :/

I think youranswer is rather a scold than an advice but I agree that it sounds lame asking to kiss her. I should have done it instead.

This is the same girl. I am not in love her something, I did not even think about her since 3 weeks. I just got the idea to invite her to a concert cause I remembered that she likes this music.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Aug 04, 2015 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Quote:
Thanks :/

I think youranswer is rather a scold than an advice but I agree that it sounds lame asking to kiss her. I should have done it instead.

This is the same girl. I am not in love her something, I did not even think about her since 3 weeks. I just got the idea to invite her to a concert cause I remembered that she likes this music.
Scold? I'm not scolding you at all... You asked:
Quote:
What do you think, guys? Do I still have any chance with her? How should I proceed? What did I do wrong?
Isn't that what you were after?
Author:  Daniel22 [ Wed Aug 05, 2015 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Yeah, right, sorry. I just felt myself soo close to getting laid :)

Bed situation:
We arrived to my place, consisting of one room with a big bed in the middle of the room, one couch and 2 chairs.I offered her to sit down on my bed and I sat next to her. I was really tired so I laid on my back and she did the same. We were lying on our backs on my bed, really tired, and talking. She was laughing and said that she did not expect that we will sleep in the same room. (I did not tell it to her, she did not ask and I said that she can sleep on the couch). She accused me that I did this as a trick, but she was smiling, looking at me and did. not move away.
We had some conversation and Then I asked her to describe how does her room look like and she turned on her stomach, and started to draw a little imaginary map on my bed with her finger, and described how her room looked like in details. I pretended that I did not understand the map and said that she has to show it to me later. She agreed, smiled and this time we were really close together. I thought that she wanted me to kiss her, so I moved even closer
Land caressed her face with may hand for 1-2 minutes. Then I asked her if it is allowed to kiss but the answer was "only in a way as friends do" and moved away. Then she started the lets be friends conversation, asking me what my plans for the evening were because she thinks I completely misunderstood her. She was still lying on my bed next to me.

Then I said what I already wrote: I liked her from the start and I did not have exact plans, I wanted to see how this evening goes with us. (Which was a lie, of course, I wanted to have sex with her but I was afraid to say such thing, because I was afraid of her reaction).

As you probably figured out, I am completely new to this business :) I was raised by my mom and I was virgin until 25. I really want to change my personality, thats why I asked for advice and shared my story here.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Wed Aug 05, 2015 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
We learn by screwing up!

So - what have you learned:

1) Assume attraction and just go for it. Don't ask to kiss her, just do it.

2) She didn't know it was a date, I'm fairly sure... (based on her not thinking you'd be sleeping in the same room and verbally stating that to you... That in itself was a signal which you may have missed.

3) Don't tell a chick you like her (in the way you did)... Just show her instead. Kiss her... Friends don't kiss friends - so that's the same as telling her, without the discomfort.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Aug 05, 2015 4:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mixed signals of a girl... Again.
Welcome to the Forum Daniel.

In my opinions it just sounds like you didn't completely take the bull by the horns when you had the opportunity. You had a moment to confidently escalate but you decided to ask her permission to escalate instead. You became tense and anxious at the thought of escalating and she became tense and nervous about the idea as well. She's following your lead. Your confidence and assertion equals her submission.

Remember this: Its always better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.

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